【推荐1】One way to prevent anxiety from getting out of control is to recognise its benefits. It is a mistake to think that we’d make better decisions if only we keep our feelings under control. Instead, a mix of feelings like anxiety and logical thinking leads to sound decision-making. It’s true that there is plenty of research showing that higher levels of anxiety can make us more likely to avoid risks in our decision-making. There is also evidence that anxiety can increase the attention you pay to relevant information.

Recent studies have shown that people who are anxious about their relationships (for example,   they fear to be abandoned) tend to be better at recognising people who tell lies and are more likely to raise the alarm when danger is present.

In the real world though, it’s worth realising that feeling anxious once in a while is extremely common. It communicates to others that you care, and what’s more, it’s probably a sign that you are intelligent. At least two published studies have identified that people who score higher on measures of anxiety also tend to perform better on intelligence tests. This seems reasonable: if you’re a thinker, you are sure to be always thinking about the future and imagine possible plots, including bad ones.

The important thing, if you are a worrywart (杞人忧天者), is not to let your fear destroy your dreams. And don’t bury your head in the sand. Instead, act on your fears—do the research as well as preparation, so rather than walking blindly into that which you fear, you meet the challenge in full readiness.   

When anxiety beats you, or casts a shadow over your life, this is a serious problem. No one is denying that. But like everyday anxiety of this kind that you feel before a presentation or an interview,   you needn’t see it as your enemy. Anxiety is an important feeling, developed through evolution. As for people who are fairly anxious by nature, there is reason for cheer, too. Your nerves are a sign of your watchfulness. Listen to them and act on them. Then you can turn your nervousness into your advantage.

【推荐3】When special occasions such as birthdays or other big holiday events come around, parents often look for that special toy for their children. But there is a growing understanding that gifts of time and bonding, such as vacations and other experiences, make better and more lasting gifts for children.

Experts agree that gifting children with memorable trips and fun experiences is better for their body and mind, and has corresponding positive impacts on the rest of the family!

In a 2017 study that surveyed about 500 women between 18 and 93 years old, Dr. Oravecz, a human development and family studies professor at Pennsylvania State University, asked, “Most people feel loved when...” The study showed that the most popular answers had nothing to do with any material item. Dr. Oravecz said, “Our research found that micro-moments of positivity, like a kind word, a hug with a child or a sympathetic expression, make people feel most loved.”

Clinical psychologist Oliver James agrees. He stated that as opposed to toys, details from a trip are more likely to “stick with them for long after the vacation ends.” When families interact in a stress-free environment, this creates warm, generous feelings towards one another, which are likely to be remembered with fondness. Vacations create strong emotional responses that don’t often come with material possessions.

In addition, British child psychologist Dr. Margot Sunderland believes that vacations make children smarter. “What is less widely known is that vacations can also advance brain development in children. This is because on a family vacation, you are exercising two genetically ingrained systems deep in the brain’s limbic (边缘的) area, which can all too easily be ‘unexercised’ in the home.” Citing the work of neuroscientist Jaak Panksepp, Dr. Sunderland said, “These are the PLAY system and the SEEKING system.” “The brain’s PLAY system is exercised every time you bury your child’s feet in the sand or take them for a ride on your back. The SEEKING system is exercised each time you go exploring together: the beach, a cave, a hidden village...” She continued, “So when you take your child on a vacation, you are supporting their explorative urge (SEEKING system)—a vital resource for living life well, and their capacity to play (PLAY system). In adulthood, this translates into the ability to play with ideas—essential, for example, to the successful entrepreneur(企业家).”

In a busy household, perhaps the fun of having the latest toy may not last, but the space it occupies in the house could be there and gather dust. So for the next round of gift-giving with the children, consider an experiential gift instead. The return is definitely priceless.