There’s no doubt that loneliness hurts. Functional MRIs show that the area of the brain triggered by social rejection is the same area that’s triggered by physical pain. To understand why loneliness hurts, let’s take a closer look at friendship through the eyes of two heavyweight philosophers.
In one corner we have Aristotle, who wrote that without friends, there’s no reason to live. The Greek great believed that friendships are based on the virtues of the friend.
So as a sharp counterpunch to Aristotle, let’s turn to the renowned Enlightenment philosopher Immanuel Kant, who said that all people have value regardless of their virtues. Since we view our true friends with this kind of unconditional love and respect, we can assume they view us the same way.
| A．This may sound fine at first. |
| B．They last through thick and thin. |
| C．This tells us why loneliness hurts. |
| D．These acts may not make you a lifelong friend. |
| E．The more friends you have, the happier you’ll be. |
| F．We feel like we’re not accepted by the people around us. |
| G．Thus, the cure for loneliness can be found in other people. |
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【推荐1】Flamingos (火烈鸟) make long friendships
When it comes to making friends, humans often seek people with similar interests and personalities.
Scientist Dr Paul Rose had already spotted that flamingos seemed to form narrow exclusive circles.
Each bird wore a ring around one leg with a unique code to tell them apart. McCully spent months studying their behaviour and built a personality profile for each flamingo. She found that confident, aggressive flamingos walked proudly around in their friendship groups, while the quieter birds carefully avoid those individuals.
McCully and Rose found that for the Caribbean birds, personality seemed to matter more in friendships than it did for Chilean flamingos. Caribbean birds were more likely to defend their friends and the confident ones had much larger social groups than the quieter birds. The researchers found this surprising because in many ways, including body shape and how they search for food in the wild, the two species are very similar.
| A．Their long-lasting relationships are important for survival in the wild. |
| B．He teamed up with Fiona McCully, a scientist in animal behaviour. |
| C．The scientists conclude that it’s important to keep flamingos in a large flock. |
| D．According to a recent study, so do flamingos. |
| E．This avoidance may serve to prevent the fights. |
| F．New research shows that flamingos with brighter colors tend to be more aggressive. |
The evidence for harmony may not be obvious in some families. But it seems that four out of five young people now get on with their parents, which is the opposite of the popularly held image(印象)of unhappy teenagers locked in their room after endless family quarrels.
An important new study into teenage attitudes surprisingly shows that their family life is more harmonious than it has ever been in the past.” We were surprised by just how positive today’s young people seen to be about their families,” said one member of the research team.” They’re expected to be rebellious(叛逆的) and selfish but actually they have other things on their minds; they want a car and material goods, and they worry about whether school is serving them well. There’s more negotiation(商议) and discussion between parents and children, and children expect to take part in the family decision-making process. They don’t want to rock the boat.”
So it seems that this generation of parents is much more likely than parents of 30 years ago to treat their children as friends.” My parents are happy to discuss things with me and willing to listen to me,” says 17-years-old Daniel Lazall. ”I always tell them when I’m going out clubbing. As long as they know what I’m doing, they’re fine with it.” Susan Crome, who is now 21,agrees.”Looking back on the last 10 years, there was a lot of what you could call negotiation. For example, as long as I’d done all my homework, I could go out on a Saturday night. But I think my grandparents were a lot stricter with my parents than that.”
Maybe this positive view of family life should not be unexpected. It is possible that the idea of teenagers rebellion is not rooted in real facts. A researcher comments,” Our surprise that teenagers say they get along well with their parents comes because of a brief period in our social history when teenagers were regarded as different beings. But that idea of rebelling and breaking away from their parents really only happened during that one time in the 1960s when everyone rebelled. The normal situation throughout history has been a smooth change from helping out with the family business to taking it over.”
1. What is the popular images of teenagers today?
| A．They worry about school |
| B．They dislike living with their parents |
| C．They have to be locked in to avoid troubles |
| D．They quarrel a lot with other family members |
| A．share family responsibility | B．cause trouble in their families |
| C．go boating with their family | D．make family decisions |
| A．go to clubs more often with their children |
| B．are much stricter with their children |
| C．care less about their children’s life |
| D．give their children more freedom |
| A．may be a false belief | B．is common nowadays |
| C．existed only in the 1960s | D．resulted from changes in families |
| A．Negotiation in family | B．Education in family |
| C．Harmony in family | D．Teenage trouble in family |
【推荐3】How to be a good apartment neighbor
When you live in an apartment, everything comes with responsibilities. An apartment lifestyle can be complicated when it comes to social behaviors or manners.
Be friendly towards others. You don’t necessarily need to know them.
Care the old.
Be considerate of the noise level inside the apartment. This is one of the most common complaints reported to managers. More attention to noise is needed if you live above another person.
| A．Remember to make an apology. |
| B．But a simple hello goes a long way. |
| C．Be soft-spoken when entering and exiting. |
| D．Soft footwear makes less noise than boots or high heels. |
| E．Always offer positive assistance to your elderly neighbors. |
| F．Good manners can certainly make apartment life much easier. |
| G．Loud laughter and conversations in public place are annoying. |
【推荐1】Developing better relationships with neighbours
Good neighbours are a lot like electricity or running water: we don’t know how much we depend on them until we don’t have them. They make our lives more pleasant and give us a sense of who we are, both as an individual and as a member of the community. Here’s how to develop your relationships with these very important people in your life.
Strike up a conversation. Often neighbours don’t even know each other’s names.
Reach out to the newcomers. These days, the old Welcome Wagon is a thing of the past. But your new neighbours may be feeling lonely and unsure, especially if they’re far from home, and might appreciate a friendly face bearing fresh-baked chocolate cakes.
Avoid causing inconveniences. Return anything that you borrow from a neighbour, such as tools, in good repair and as soon as you’ve finished with them. Replace anything that belongs to your neighbour that you, your children, or your pets break or soil. Make sure that your car is not blocking his doorway.
| A．Be a good listener. |
| B．If you value your friendships with your neighbours, spend time with them. |
| C．But it’s okay to be the one to break the ice, even if you’ve lived next door for years. |
| D．Care about the details. |
| E．Recommend the best places to eat and sleep. |
| F．Such random acts of consideration will have your neighbours talking. |
【推荐2】People sometimes think of moving among people and talking to them at a dinner party like it’s a mechanical process. I know some advice on it can give the impression that you need to approach it that way.
In my experience, at parties it’s best to go with the flow, talk to the people who look interesting to you, and see where the night takes you.
For whatever reason, two metaphors (暗喻) come to mind when I think about talking to people at parties.
The second metaphor is that I picture people at a party as a bunch of ping pong balls floating in a basin of water, and moving around on the surface. For a time a few balls may come together, but then they’ll break up and maybe temporarily group with a few others.
| A．If you want to try, go for it |
| B．In practice it’s not really a matter of that |
| C．The first is to see a party like a fairground |
| D．Again, go to a party intending to just move along like this |
| E．I will spend the party making the rounds and speaking to people |
| F．Basically, the movement of people from group to group is not planned |
| G．You’ll decide if you have a better time when you keep chatting to the funny friends |
【推荐3】It’s all about personal peace, which means not only an imaginary space around the body, but also the space around all the senses. People feel that their space is being violated(侵犯) when they meet with an unwelcome sound, smell or look. This is probably why a man on a crowded bus shouting into his mobile phone or a woman next to you putting on strong perfume(香水) makes you feel angry.
Whether people have had a stronger wish to protect their personal space in recent times is hard to say. Yet studies of airlines show that people have a strong desire to have space to themselves. In a survey by Trip Advisor, a travel website, people said that if they had to pay more for some extra service, they would rather have larger seats than extra food.
Although people may need their personal space, some hardly realize it. For example, people on a bus who hold newspapers in front of their faces to read in fact keep a distance from strangers.
Go and watch a library table. You will notice that one of the corner seats will usually be taken first, because they are the farthest way. What if someone sits opposite to you? Maybe you will pile up books as if to make a wall.
Preference for personal space is different from culture to culture. Scientists have found that Americans generally prefer more personal space than people from other cultures. In Latin cultures, however, people are more comfortable standing close to each other.
1. The writer mainly ________ in this article.| A．tells us how to achieve personal space |
| B．explains why people need personal space |
| C．introduces some knowledge about personal space |
| D．argues for the importance of keeping personal space |
| A．A person who has to sit next to a lady putting on strong perfume. |
| B．A person who has been watched by a stranger for a long time. |
| C．A person who hears strange noises when reading at home. |
| D．A Latin boy who is chatting with a friend sitting close to him. |
| A．People need a smaller personal space in recent times than before. |
| B．People have a strong desire for personal space in recent times. |
| C．There are not enough seats on the plane to meet people’s needs. |
| D．Food service is better provided than seats on the plane. |
| A．The space around the body is more needed than that around all the senses. |
| B．If you hold newspapers on the bus, your personal space won’t be violated. |
| C．People usually choose the corner seats first in a library for personal space. |
| D．Different cultures share the same preferences for personal space. |
