【推荐3】I clearly remember my first airplane ride. It was in my last year of high school that my friends and I decided to go to Italy. I was both really excited and afraid.

On that day, my mom drove me and one of my friends to the airport. We got there early. After my mother left, we waited outside for the rest of the group. From where we stood we could see every plane taking off. The planes were so close to us; I could almost feel their power. At the same time, there was a fear that a plane might crash (坠毁) at any time.

I couldn’t t take it anymore so we went back inside. I decided to eat some candy and chocolate before the flight. They always help to calm me down. Minutes later, the rest of the group arrived.

Then, we all went to the gate. My legs were shaking and I thought I was going to throw up. But no, I stood there like a “man” and faced reality.

We were about to board the plane. My friends were all laughing and joking around with each other like it was no big deal, and I walked right behind them terrified to death. Once we got into the plane and found our seats, I could only do one thing: look for the devices (装置) that can save lives.

Then I heard the engines starting. My eyes popped open wide and I took a really deep breath.

I felt the plane moving and I could only think to myself God will not let me die; God will not let me die. Ten minutes later I was myself again. I wasn’t afraid anymore. I started to relax; I even read a book and talked to my friends. I remember falling asleep for a while too. And in no time we were in Italy.

【推荐2】I was recently told by someone that I am a people-pleaser, a person who works hard on satisfying other people. However, this person wasn't saying it in a nice way. So what's wrong with that? What's wrong with making sure others are happy with me? Moreover, what exactly are the negative results of being a people-pleaser?

People-pleasers bum their fingers because of their "others-focused" mindset, which puts them at a disadvantage. When others are not happy, people-pleasers cannot think of anything else, nor can they enjoy the moment, because they are often disturbed with the fact that there is someone on the planet who is not satisfied with them at the moment.

People-pleasers often make promises they can't keep—they write checks they can't cash. This is the situation I found myself in recently. I made a promise to someone that I would do something for him. But it was a bit unrealistic and would take more efforts than I was willing to put in. As a result, that promise was empty. The act of making the promise made them happy, and that, in turn, made me feel satisfied.

Now that we've got an idea of the negative aspects of people-pleasers_, what can we do to get rid of those aspects? Where can we start? The biggest challenge people-pleasers must overcome is to get used to saying "no". I find that it is a struggle, indeed. However, if I want to change my ways, then I must learn to overcome that discomfort

Are you a people-pleaser too? Don't worry. It doesn't make you a bad person, or a dishonest person. But it can sometimes leave you open to unneeded anxiety or be cheated by truly selfish people who only wish to take advantage of your kindness. Keep the good intentions and the good-heartedness in your heart. Just work on how you express your real feelings and hold on to your position through your actions.

【推荐1】Is life a story or a game? Answers may vary from one to another. Over the course of life, we find things to love and commit to — a job, a partner or a community. At times, we struggle to learn from our misfortunes to grow in wisdom, kindness and grace.

Will Storr, a writer whose work I admire, says this story version of life is a misunderstanding. In his book The Status Game, he argues that human beings are deeply driven by status. Rather than about being liked or accepted, he writes, it’s about being better than others. “When people are obedient to us, offer respect, admiration or praise, that’s status. It feels good.”

Life is a series of games, he adds. There’s the high school game of competing to be the popular kid. The lawyer game to make partner. The finance game to make the most money. The academic game for fame. The sports game to show that our team is the best. Even when we are trying to do good, Storr claims, we’re playing the “virtue game” to show we are morally superior to others.

I think Storr is in danger of becoming one of those guys who ignore the noble desires of the human heart and the caring element in every friendship and family. The status-mad world that Storr describes is so loveless. In fact, gaming as a way of life is immature. Maturity means rising above the shallow desire — for status — that doesn’t really nourish us. It’s about cultivating the higher desires: the love of truth and learning; the inner pleasure the craftsman gets in his work, which is not about popularity, and the desire for a good and meaningful life that inspires people to practise daily acts of generosity.

How do people gradually learn to cultivate these higher motivations? To answer that, I’d have to tell you a story.

【推荐3】How’ s your eyesight? From the moment we’ reborn, our eyes grow, our vision becomes clearer and some of us will have normal vision. However, others will become short-sighted (近视) and end up wearing glasses to help them see everything clearly. And some experts say that more of us will be wearing them in the future because of our lifestyle when we were younger.

Even today, doctors are reporting arise in shortsightedness in children. The condition can be genetic (遗传的), but it’ s also partly caused by a number of modern-day factors — particularly children staring at phone screens, computers and game controllers for long periods of time.

Of course, children have had increased screen time due to lockdowns (封控) during the Covid pandemic — it’ s been the only way to receive education and communicate with others. But education generally could be the cause of the rise in shortsightedness. Neema Mojarrad, lecturer at the University of Bradford, told BBC Future website, “Reading and spending more time indoors may be responsible for it. Every year of education increases the expected amount of shortsightedness.”

The problem appears to be more serious in some Asian countries. Some experts say that in these places with huge educational success, children spend more time indoors studying. Therefore, it seems, spending more time outdoors could be good for children’ s eye health. The UK’ s College of Optometrists is suggesting parents should get their kids playing outside for two hours a day. Several scientific studies show this can prevent or stop the development of shortsightedness.

There’s been a focus on using technology, such as laser (激光) surgery, for fixing shortsightedness, but for children at least, it seems a moment of daylight and a break from the screen might be part of the solution. Experts also recommend kids have regular eye tests to find out any prob lens before they become more serious.

【推荐2】What defines (定义) a generation? Often, experts say, members of a generation are defined by the events that shaped their lives as young adults.

“World events like wars, pandemics (大流行病) and racial unrest can be especially formative,” says Meg Jay, a psychologist and author of “The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter — and How to Make the Most of Them Now”. Because our 20s are often when we have our first jobs and first relationships and first moves and first real-world experiences, these big events become important parts of our life stories.

In 2020, it was a pandemic.

For the last three months of 2020, the Monitor followed twelve 2l-year-olds from around the world. We wanted to understand how this global health crisis is encoding itself in the cultural DNA of a generation coming of age in its shadow. Their lives and circumstances as they rolled into 2021 varied wildly. But the lives of the 2l-year-olds we met had many obvious similarities. Separately, for instance, the internet was their collective lifeline to the world. In Mexico, an art student isolating in her family home posted a daily piece of art to Instagram to remind herself that time had not stopped altogether. In Germany, a labor organizer negotiated contracts and planned strikes via Zoom.

By the end of 2020, many of the world’s 21-year-olds had lost jobs; others wondered if they’d ever find one. In the U. S, youth unemployment doubled between July 2019 and July 2020. Also, the pandemic opened fault lines, and stressed old ones. In India, Jordan, and South Africa, our 21-year-olds wondered how they’d collect enough money for mobile data for online studies. In Mexico, Canada, and Germany, 21-year-olds reflected on loneliness as a privilege — that they were alone because they could isolate, their lives not dependent on doing otherwise.

We found a generation suspended (悬停) between the world they’d grown up in and uncertain arrival of their future.