【推荐2】One of the statements that many experts seem to agree on is the fact that the great things starts to happen the minute you step outside of your comfort zones. As soon as you decide that you are willing to go beyond what is safe, the possibilities are endless. For me, one of the most important things that we should always keep in mind is the fact that growth and comfort can’t coexist.

Personal development author Napoleon Hill once said: “Whatever the mind can understand and believe, the mind can achieve. Regardless of how many times you may have failed in the past or how lofty(崇高的) your aims and hopes may be.” This statement is especially powerful because it reminds us that we are the only ones who can be responsible for how far we will go. However, stepping outside of our comfort zone is probably the most important step to experiencing real change.

For a long time, I knew that I wanted to live in Argentina, so halfway through my bachelor’s degree, I bought a one-way ticket there. While in Argentina, I finished the last two years of my degree online before flying back home for graduation. I currently still live in Argentina, and I can proudly say that taking the necessary steps to make it a reality was one of the most important things I could have done.

This, of course, by no means at all applies to everyone, and I’m not implying we should all buy one-way tickets to foreign countries and see what happens. But it’s important to know that we should recognize what we desire and try to bring our dreams to life.

Living in a comfort zone can trick us into believing that we have an abundant amount of time when, in reality, we all know that years can fly by without us having accomplished much of what we really wanted to do. So why wait? I’m thankful that I didn’t put off my move until a later date because I would have missed out on a lot of amazing life experiences that have shaped me as a person. If we want to experience even a small amount of change, we will have to step outside of it.

【推荐3】I used to think the whole purpose of life was pursuing happiness. Everyone said the path to happiness was success, so I searched for that ideal job, that perfect boyfriend, and that beautiful apartment. But instead of ever feeling fulfilled, I felt anxious and lost. Eventually. I decided to go to graduate school for positive psychology to learn what truly makes people happy.

And what's the difference between being happy and having meaning in life? Many psychologists describe happiness as a state of comfort and ease, feeling good in the moment. Meaning, though, is deeper. The famous psychologist Martin Seligman says meaning comes from belonging to and serving something beyond yourself and from developing the best within you. Our culture is obsessed with happiness, but I came to see that seeking meaning is the more fulfilling path.

There are four pillars of a meaningful life.

The first pillar is belonging. Belonging comes from being in relationships where you're valued for who you are and where you value others as well. For many people, belonging is the most essential source of meaning.

For others, the key to meaning is the second pillar: purpose. Finding your purpose is not the same thing as finding that job that makes you happy. A doctor told me her purpose is healing sick people. Many parents tell me, “My purpose is raising my children.” The key to purpose is using your strengths to serve others. Without something worthwhile to do, people flounder, thus losing the aim of life.

The third pillar of meaning is also about stepping beyond yourself, but in a completely different way: transcendence (超然). Transcendent experiences can change you. Transcendent states are those rare moments when you're lifted above the hustle and bustle of daily life, your sense of self fades away, and you feel connected to a higher reality. For me, I’m a writer, and it happens through writing. Sometimes I get so in the zone that I lose all sense of time and place.

The fourth pillar is storytelling, the story you tell yourself about yourself. Creating a narrative from the events of your life brings clarity. It helps you understand how you became you. But we don’t always realize that we're the authors of our stories and can change the way we’re telling them. Your life isn't just a list of events. You can edit, interpret and retell your story, even as you're constrained by the facts.

That’s the power of meaning. Happiness comes and goes. But when life is really good and when things are really bad, having meaning gives you something to hold on to.