4 . Identical Twins Kathy and Sophie arrived at college last year and determined to strike out on independent paths, so they had requested rooms in different dorms. While Kathy got along with her roommate, Sophie was miserable. She and her roommate silently warred over matters ranging from when the lights should be turned off to how the furniture should be arranged. Finally, they divided the room in two and gave up on oral communication. During this time, Sophie kept seeking comfort from Kathy. Before long, the two wanted to live together again. Sophie’s roommate eventually agreed to move out.

Sophie’s ability to solve her dilemma by rooming with her identical twin is unusual, but the conflict she faced is not. Most roommate conflicts spring from such small, annoying differences rather than from grand disagreements over abstract principles. One person likes quiet, while the other person spends two hours a day practicing the trumpet. One eats only organically(有机地) produced vegetables and loves animals, while the other likes wearing fur and enjoys cutting up frogs in biology class.

When personalities don’t mix, the excitement of being away at college can quickly fade away. Moreover, roommates can affect each other’s psychological health. A recent study reports that depression in college roommates is often passed from one person to another.

Many schools have started conflict resolution programs to calm tensions that otherwise can build up like a volcano preparing to explode, finally resulting in physical violence. Some colleges have resorted to “roommate contracts” that all new students fill out and sign after attending a lecture on roommate relations. Students detail behavioral guidelines for their room, including acceptable hours for study and sleep, a policy for use of each other’s possessions. Some schools try to head off the feud before it begins by using computerized matching. Students are put together on the basis of their responses to housing form questions.

5 . I was talking to my friend Sandy about our children. Sandy had recently moved into the neighborhood with her four kids: Jane, Joe, Christopher, and her youngest, eighteen-month-old Kim. She seemed happy to have kids nearby, until she saw our dog, Sam.

Sam, our shiny black dog, loved to play with the kids and protect them. But Sandy had a fear of dogs, and she started to back away as Sam approached. I grabbed Sam’s collar and made him sit, trying to ease Sandy’s discomfort.

Sandy mentioned that she needed to get her kids ready to go to their grandmother’s house. Just then, her door opened and her kids rushed out. Sandy shouted at them to stay away from Sam.

The kids huddled (蜷缩) around their mom, looking at Sam cautiously (谨慎地). Emma, my daughter, showed the kids how to approach a dog slowly and properly. The kids were won over by Sam’s friendly nature, but I knew it would take some time for Sandy to change her viewpoint.

After that incident, we made sure that Sam didn’t go near our neighbors without me present. One day, when the kids were playing across the street, I noticed the eighteen-month-old baby heading towards a small hill. I saw a car approaching and shouted to everyone to watch the baby. Without hesitation, Sam rushed out the door and ran across the street towards the baby. He ran to the boy in time to gently push the baby away from the oncoming car. The kids cheered, completely unaware of the danger. They thought Sam had come to play.

Within a year, Sam had made friends with all the neighbors. Even Sandy started to warm up to Sam and would occasionally come over to give him a hug.

6 . In your life, sometimes you may be asked to speak in front of a large group of people. Although it sounds a little scary, even those with stage fright can speak successfully to the group with adequate preparation.

Practice your speech before the big day.    1     If possible, practice the speech in front of a friend or family member to get used to saying it to real people. If you feel you must have note cards, limit the amount to about three cards. This will force you to keep your speech brief and help you keep your eyes focused on your audience.

Remember why you’ve been invited to speak. If you’re battling fear over speaking to a large group of people, keep your mind on the fact that you were selected for this important role. The speech organizers must have seen something valuable in you or your expertise.    2    

Remember that fear of public speaking is very common.    3     Most of the people in the audience would be feeling the same fear and stress that you do in your position. Knowing this may make you feel better.

    4     What you say should be tailored (专门的) to why you’re there and who you’re speaking to in order to avoid sounding general. If speaking to a charity group,mention the good work certain specific individuals have done for the cause. If speaking at a business conference, briefly state why you want to help these people.

Keep eye contact with the crowd.    5     Pick one person in each section and look at him while you’re speaking. After each important point in your speech, switch your focus to another section. When you focus only on one person at a time, the size of the crowd isn’t as frightening.

10 . Is looking fashionable more important than being comfortable? Many people seem to think so, judging (判断) by the things they wear. But fashion is not everything. It is more important to be a healthy and good person.

People go to great lengths to be fashionable. Some people think they have to have a certain body type, so they go on extreme, unhealthy diets in order to change their bodies. In addition, many women wear uncomfortable fashions, such as high-heeled shoes that cause pain to their feet, and tight body shapers that limit blood flow. Men and women alike spend time and money on products that change their natural hair color or hairstyle. Some people even spend several hours a day in front of a mirror. Is fashion so important that people spend so much time and effort changing what they look like?

If the purpose of fashion is to make a person feel good, it does not make sense that he or she would go through so much discomfort to be fashionable. Fashion should not come first. People should put their health and positive image in the first place. What people wear does not say anything about their personalities. Instead of spending hours choosing a dress, perhaps you should call your friends and do something together, such as playing soccer or badminton. Instead of going on strict diets and forcing yourself to stay hungry, why not eat some healthy foods and then exercise? By doing these things, you can keep a healthy lifestyle and truly grow as a person.