4 . Every decision we make is arrived at through hugely complex neurological processing. Although it feels as though you have a choice, the action that you ‘decide’ to take is entirely directed by automatic neural activity. Brain imaging studies show that a person’s action can be predicted by their brain activity up to 10 seconds before they themselves become aware they are going to act. Multiple neuroscientific studies show that even those important decisions that feel worked out are just as automatic as knee-jerk reactions (膝跳反应) (although more complex).

Decision-making starts with the amygdala: a set of two almond-shaped nuclei (杏仁状核) buried deep within the brain, which generate emotion. The amygdala registers the information streaming in through our senses and responds to it in less than a second, sending signals throughout the brain. These produce an urge to run, fight, freeze or grab, according to how the amygdala values various stimuli.

Before we act on the amygdala’s signals, however, the information is usually processed by other brain areas, including some that produce conscious thoughts and emotions. Areas concerned with recognition work out what’s going on, those concerned with memory compare it with previous experiences, and those concerned with reasoning, judging and planning get to work on constructing various action plans. The best plan—if we are lucky—is then selected and carried out. If any of this process goes wrong, we are likely to hesitate, or do something silly.

The various stages of decision-making are marked by different types of brain activity. Fast (gamma)waves, with frequencies of 25 to 100 Hz, produce a keen awareness of the multiple factors that need to be taken into account to arrive at a decision. If you are trying to choose a sandwich, for instance, gamma waves generated in various cells within the ‘taste’ area of the brain bring to mind and compare the taste of ham, hummus, wholemeal, sourdough, and so on. Although it may seem useful to be aware of the full range of choice, too much information makes decision-making more difficult, so irrelevant factors get dismissed quickly and unconsciously.

After this comparison stage, the brain switches to slow-wave activity (12 to 30 Hz). This extinguishes most of the gamma activity, leaving just a single ‘hotspot’ of gamma waves which marks the chosen option.

Although there is no ‘you’ outside your brain to direct what it’s doing, you can help it to make good decisions by placing yourself in a situation which is likely to make the process run more smoothly. Doing something that is physically or mentally stimulating before making a decision will help your brain produce the initial gamma waves that generate awareness of the competing options. Getting over-excited, on the other hand, will prevent the switch to the slow brainwaves, making it much harder to single out a choice.

5 . How to Feel Connected

It's easy to feel disconnected from what is going on around you in today's fast-paced world.     1     You can get in touch and feel connected, however, by following the tips below:

Consider why you feel disconnected. Knowing what is making you feel disconnected can help you choose the best ways to address it.     2     Ask yourself these questions: Are you keeping yourself occupied with work too much? Do you rely on electronic communication instead of face to face communication? Do you lack friendships that are satisfying?

Interact with people in person. Technology is a great way to stay in touch, but sometimes you need to spend time with other people in person.     3     You can also take steps to feel more connected by making small-talk with strangers who are sharing parts of your day.

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Your loved ones could feel shy, so you may never know how to improve your relationship unless you ask the right questions. Asking them to open the doors can give you some insight on what you can do. Learning this information can help to strengthen your bond.

Show your commitment to them. Simply showing up and being there for your loved ones says a lot about how much you value your relationships. Putting in the time shows them that you are committed and want to stay connected.     5    

Show appreciation. A simple “thank you” goes a very long way. Unfortunately, it is something that people who are close often take for granted. Telling someone you appreciate their time, love, and efforts can strengthen your bond and help you to become more connected.