2 . Shame has been called our “most dreaded emotional experience.” We know the feeling only too well: Our pulse quickens.     1     The feeling is so bad that we want to escape at all costs. Here are some things you need to know about shame and some tips for how to feel less of it.

Shame and guilt are different emotions.

You feel guilty when you think you’ve done something wrong, but you feel shame when you believe that you are wrong. While guilt arises when you have made a mistake and can fix it, shame develops when you see yourself as the mistake.     2    

Shame has warning signs.

There are many signs that you are experiencing shame.    3    And when someone brings up something you feel ashamed about, you may look down and avoid eye contact and talk in a soft voice.

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Shame can lead to high blood pressure, stomach problems, insomnia, alcohol or drugs addiction, eating disorders. One study determined that external shame — the fear that others are judging us negatively — is associated with anorexia, while internal shame — our negative self- evaluation self-generated criticism — is associated with bulimia.

There is a cure for shame.

When you have a caring person to share your shameful and otherwise painful stories with, you will be able to fully express yourself and finally release the old, stored, toxic feelings that have been weighing you down.    5     At the same time, you will stop seeing yourself as bad or wrong. The change you will feel is profound.

3 . How to handle changes in your friendship group?

Friends are important. From time to time, however, the balance in friendships can change. One of the biggest reasons is that someone new joins the group.     1     The good news is that there are ways to navigate the ups and downs of friendships while remaining part of a positive, happy, and supportive circle.

Changes in friendship groups can be unsettling, especially if everything had been going well beforehand. You might be concerned things feel awkward or different, or that you might become jealous if a new person joins your circle.     2     You can’t stop your friends having new people in their lives, so try to see encounters with fresh faces as an exciting opportunity.

If your best friends seem to stop being interested in you and appear to be investing all their time in a new friend, take time to think about the situation before rushing to confront（对峙）them.     3     Having different friends is a positive thing, so if it’s the case that they’re welcoming new people into the fold, try to make peace with it and think about how you can make other friends, too.     4     Recognize that they and you will have a mixture of pals and they’ll enhance your life in different ways.

Friends are amazing and can carry you through good and bad times, but you’re not defined by others, and you deserve people who want to be in your life. Everyone changes, and there might come a time when friends no longer wish to spend time with you.     5     Keep your head held high, walk tall, and stay true to your authentic self. Remember that real friends value you for who and what you are.

5 . Taking care of our skin is highly important, and healthy skin is key to protection from harmful elements. There are a lot of skincare advice and it may be confusing to choose which one is good for us.     1    .

Clean your skin properly

Clean twice, not once, according to Marie Claire. The first cleaning will simply remove all the surface make-up and dirt.     2    . Proper cleaning produces new skin cells, and that will improve your complexion.

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Aside from applying moisturizers (润肤膏), our skin can become moist thanks to enough water intake. Drink six to eight glasses of water a day to ensure your metabolism (新陈代谢) works well, and good metabolism contributes to hydrated, supple and clearer skin.

Get enough sleep

“Sleep is nature’s most powerful beauty treatment,” wrote Fitness Magazine. When we are asleep, our bodies produce a human growth hormone that contributes to collagen production. Hair, face and body products also recover better when we are at rest. Get enough sleep.     4    .

Have a proper diet

Glowing skin is a sign of inner organs (器官) that function well.     5    . Make sure that your daily intake includes high antioxidants, minerals and vitamins. You might as well consider eating super foods or use skincare products that contain them.

6 . If you’ve ever been on a long-haul (长途的) flight, you’ll know that it can be challenging to keep yourself rested and occupied for that many hours, especially if you’re not flying first-class.     1    . Check out these 5 tips on how to make your flight more bearable.

Start by dressing for comfort. Since you’ll be in those clothes for over 24 hours — from the time you leave your home till you reach your destination — you’ll want to make sure that you’re wearing comfortably. Pick out casual clothes with loose-fitting tops and bottoms.     2    . They also don’t restrict blood flow, which could be an issue when you’re sitting for so long.

    3    . These include a travel pillow, an eye mask and ear plugs to help you sleep. Also bring along your own earphones as the ones provided by the airline may not fit comfortably or have great sound.

Once you board, monitor the time at your destination and adjust your sleep-wake cycle accordingly, even if it means resisting the temptation of in-flight entertainment to sleep during the night.     4    . It will help with the jetlag that will surely come after you touch down.

Lastly, drink plenty of water to counteract the dry cabin air — shoot for a glass every hour. Bring a big empty water bottle with you on the plane and once you’re comfortably seated and before the plane takes off, ask a flight attendant to get it full.     5    .

8 . Always the outsider?

One of the things I used to fear was being the new girl in the office — in the kitchen making coffee while the in-crowd chatted about the weekend. I worried that I wasn’t good enough or smart enough.     1     I’d struggle for words while trying to look cool. Back at school, I was best friends with Kate and Cathy until we had to walk across the road in twos, and guess who was left out? I’ve always been the outsider from school days to office life. Or is that the story I have told myself?

As in so many areas of life, the only thing you can control is your response. I remind myself of what Eleanor Roosevelt said:     2     The only person making me feel like an outsider is me. These are the lessons I have learned along the way:

●Starting anywhere new, you just have to find your people, the ones that get you.     3     It’s OK to take your time and figure out if you’re the right fit for each other. Have faith that you will find the right people for you.

●Very often it’s our belief systems that tell us we don’t fit in. We are replaying the stories from childhood and need to rewrite the script (剧本).     4     When are you assuming that you’ll be on your own? What fears are you projecting onto yourself?

●Practice self-acceptance. Remind yourself that it’s OK to have a different way of operating in the world.

●    5     Sometimes, interactions with random strangers can help us feel more confident in all our relationships. For example, volunteering can make us feel connected and give us a sense of belonging.

9 . Being a first-year international student at a U. S. college or university can be a little scary — there’s so much to do and remember.     1     Here are more first-year tips for international students.

Connect With Other Students Before Arrival

    2    . These can be great opportunities to meet a potential roommate and begin finding connections and familiar faces before move-in. Students should also plan to attend other events to meet more students and grow their social circles.

Call Home Upon Arrival

Students may be excited to start their new life, but family need to know you. arrived safely. Students who forget to contact their parents after arriving could lead to a hurry call to university as parents try to track down their children.     3    . The reason may be that there will be Wi- Fi at the airport and an Internet connect ion may not yet be set up at your new residence.

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Experts say it’s wise to travel with some cash and have that money changed to U. S. dollars. In addition to getting money changed, a credit card is a must. If your wallet gets stolen, your money will be perfectly safe. It also quietly builds your credit score if you’ re paying back on time. Students typically can get information about setting up a bank account and should do some financial planning to cover all of their expenses.

Make Friends With a Variety of Students

While international student freshmen may be interested in their own communities, it’s important to branch out and meet a variety of students.     5    . Students from other countries offer new perspectives, who can offer first-year students great advice and insights on navigating school. Experts also recommend connecting with native U. S. students, who can provide broader exposure to U. S. culture.

10 . We are all creatures of habit. We tend to wake up at the same time each day, brush our teeth, have morning coffee and travel to work, following the same patterns every day.     1    

Behavioral scientists who study habit formation say that many of us try to create healthy habits the wrong way.     2     Here are two tips, backed by research, for forming new healthy habits.

    3     For many of us, our morning routine is the strongest, so that’s a great place to build a new habit. While brushing your teeth, you might stand on one foot to practice balance. Many of us fall into end-of-the-day patterns as well. Do you tend to sink into the sofa after work and turn on the TV? That might be a good time to do a single daily yoga pose.

    4     Wendy Wood, a research psychologist, calls the forces that get in the way of good habits “friction”. In one study, researchers changed the turning of lift doors so that workers had to wait nearly half a minute for the doors to close.     5     Many people are therefore convinced that taking the stairs was easier than waiting for the lift. It shows how sensitive we are to small friction in our environment. Just slowing down the lift got people to take the stairs, and they stuck with it even after the lift went back to normal timing.