4 . A friend of mine, in response to a conversation we were having about the injustices of life, asked me the question, “Who said life was going to be fair, or that it was even meant to be fair?” Her question was a good one. It reminded me of something I was taught as a youngster: life isn’t fair. It’s a disappointment, but it’s absolutely true. One of the mistakes many of us make is that we feel sorry for ourselves, or for others, thinking that life should be fair, or that someday it will be. It’s not and it won’t be.

One of the nice things about surrendering (屈从) to the fact that life isn’t fair is that it keeps us from feeling sorry for ourselves by encouraging us to do the very best we can with what we have. We know it’s not “life’s job” to make everything perfect, it’s our own challenge. Surrendering to this fact also keeps us from feeling sorry for others because we are reminded that everyone is dealt differently; everyone has unique strengths and problems in the process of growing up, facing the reality and making decisions; and everyone has those times that they feel unfairly treated.

The fact that life isn’t fair doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do everything in our power to improve our own lives or the world as a whole. To the contrary, it suggests that we should. When we don’t recognize or admit that life isn’t fair, we tend to feel pity for others and for ourselves. Pity, of course, is a self-defeating emotion that does nothing for anyone, except to make everyone feel worse than they already do. When we do recognize that life isn’t fair, however, we feel enthusiastic for others and for ourselves. And enthusiasm is a heartfelt emotion that conveys loving-kindness to everyone it touches.

The next time you find yourself thinking about the injustices of the world, try reminding yourself of this very basic fact. You may be surprised that it can make you out of self-pity and into helpful action.

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7 . For long, a little boy was wondering why his desk pal could rank 1st in the class, whereas he himself failed to: he only ranked 21st. So he asked his mom, “Mom, am I more ________ than others? I feel I am as careful as him, but how come I always ________?” Hearing the words, Mom was worried that her son’s self-esteem was now being hurt by the ranking system. She went ________, not knowing how to explain.

In another test, the son ranked 17th, ________ his pal remained 1st. Back home, he ________ the same question. Mom really wanted to inform her son that intelligence ________. However, was this the answer that her son was ________ curious about? Thank goodness she did not open her mouth.

There were times she wanted to say, “You are too lazy. You are not as hard-working as others...” but she stopped when thinking of her son was ________ from the pains of unsatisfied grades and rankings. She thought it cruel to add additional ________ on his son and was trying to find out a perfect answer.

Time passing swiftly, the son finished primary school. ________ studying harder and harder, he was still unable to ________ with his pal. To show her pride of him, Mom decided to take him to the sea. During the trip, she ________ to give out an answer. Sitting on the beach, she pointed to the front and said, “Do you see the seabirds over there? When the waves come near, little birds can rise quickly while ‘clumsy’ (笨拙的) sea-gulls would take more time to complete the process. ________, have you noticed birds that finally fly across the endless ________ are none other than ‘clumsy’ sea-gulls?”

Now, the son no longer worries about his rankings, and no one would enquire his rankings in primary school, because, with the 1st ranking, he is ________ to a famous University.