1 . Emotional regulation (情绪管理) is taking any action that changes the intensity of an emotional experience.     1    . It refers to the ability to effectively control our emotions through various approaches. We are expected to manage our emotions in ways that are socially acceptable. There are a number of skills that can help us self-regulate our emotions.

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Emotions happen fast. We don’t think “now I will be angry” — we just suddenly have fires in our eyes and become extremely angry. So the number one skill in regulating difficult emotions is to pause. Take a breath. Slow down the moment between trigger (触发) and response.

Noticing what you feel

An equally important skill involves the ability to become aware of what you’re feeling. Dr. Judson Brewer, MD Ph. D. recommends practices for becoming more curious about your own physical reactions. In what parts of your body are you noticing feelings? Is your stomach upset? Is your heart racing?     3    . Looking into what is happening to you physically can also draw away your focus and reduce the intensity of the emotion.

Naming what you feel

After noticing what you feel, the ability to name it can help you get control of what is happening. Ask yourself: What would you call the emotions you’re feeling? Is it anger, sadness, or disappointment?     4    .

Accepting the emotion

    5    . Rather than beating yourself up for feeling angry or scared, recognize that your emotional reactions are acceptable. Try to practice self-sympathy and give yourself respect. Recognize that experiencing emotions is a normal human reaction.