1 . Do you think you need to shout at yourself to force yourself to finish your homework? If so, think again.    1     Research shows that practicing self-compassion (自我关怀) improves our mental and physical well-being and supports long-term success.

Self-compassion is the practice of being kind and supportive to ourselves. The opposite is being self-critical and mean to ourselves when we make a mistake.     2     These negative responses are related to depression, stress and reduced quality of life.

A 2017 study found people who practice self-compassion tend to handle stress better. Their bodies have less of a stress response when, for example, they meet with difficulties at work or school.     3     Let’s say they do poorly on a geometry test. Self-compassion helps them use the experience to make changes going forward, like seeking out a math tutor.

    4     We can start with mindfulness. First of all, practice observing our thoughts — are they understanding or critical? Don’t judge ourselves too severely then. Rather than getting caught up in how we could have done better, forgive ourselves and think about what to change while remaining respectful, and loving to ourselves.     5     We can read a novel, play a musical instrument or kick around a soccer ball with friends.

With practice, we can learn to treat ourselves with kindness and unconditional love — not tough love.

2 . For my daughter's 19th birthday, we bought her tickets to go and see Linkin Park, as they were playing in our city. We didn't really have the ________ but we knew how much this band meant to her.

The night before she was like a ________ at Christmas. Every so often she got up and came to ________ with us, because she couldn't ________ . On the night of the concert it was good to see her so ________ and excited, as she and her boyfriend set off.

Needless to say when they ________ after midnight, with T-shirts and lots of pictures of the band, ________ her telling about how fantastic they had been, we knew the money had been well ________ . This will be a memory she would never forget, and nor would we.

________ full of excitement from the night before, the following day they ________ to go shopping on the other side of the city. My husband and I laughed, loving the fact that she had not ________   that quality as she grew up.

Later that day they returned, with faces full of happiness and warmth. They presented my husband and me with a ________ each. On each present were the words "Because you are the ________ mum/dad in the world. "When we expressed our thanks and told her she didn't have to, we asked her why she had bought us gifts. Her answer was simply "Just because I love you."

This wasn't something ________ from our daughter; she had always given us gifts when she wanted to express her ________ , and each gift was always a welcome surprise. It could have been anything, it wouldn't have mattered, and it was the act itself and the feelings behind it.