1 . Tricks To Becoming A Patient Person

Here’s a riddle: What do traffic jams, long lines and waiting for a vacation to start all have in common? There is one answer.     1    .

In the Digital Age, we’re used to having what we need immediately and right at our fingertips. However, research suggests that if we practiced patience, we’d be a whole lot better off. Here are several tricks.

●Practice gratitude (感激)

Thankfulness has a lot of benefits: Research shows it makes us happier, less stressed and even more optimistic.     2    . “Showing thankfulness can foster self-control,” said Ye Li, researcher at the University of California.

● Make yourself wait

Instant gratification (满足) may seem like the most “feel good” option at the time, but psychology research suggests waiting for things actually makes us happier in the long run. And the only way for us to get into the habit of waiting is to practice.     3    . Put off watching your favorite show until the weekend or wait 10 extra minutes before going for that cake. You’ll soon find that the more patience you practice, the more you start to apply it to other, more annoying situations.

●     4    .

So many of us have the belief that being comfortable is the only state we will tolerate, and when we experience something outside of our comfort zone, we get impatient about the circumstances. You should learn to say to yourself, “    5    .” You’ll then gradually become more patient.

2 . Self-esteem is the ruling view you have of yourself. This includes your beliefs about your inner qualities and how you think others see you.     1     Someone can develop low self-esteem even when they are highly functional and greatly skilled. Understanding this mysterious emotional currency might be the key to unlocking your own self-worth.

People with healthy self-esteem don't need to boast about themselves to others. People with low self-esteem may tell you how much everyone loves them, what a great job they do at work, and how amazing they are at pretty everything under the sun even though they really wonder if it's true. People may see them as obnoxious or “full of themselves”.     2     They are not shy about sharing ideas, including constructive criticisms of others. They also take care of themselves without second-guessing or apologizing. They are the people who we say seem “sure of themselves”.

If you're starting to think you may have low self-esteem, you can work on the way you talk to yourself. When you turn off negative self-talk, you can open the floor to positive reinforcements and access the courage to show different sides of yourself. It isn't going to feel good at first, though. Keep going until it becomes less and less and maybe even a few awkward laughs in the mirror may help.     3    

However, in serious cases of low or even non-existent self-esteem, you may want to call in a professional or a specialist. Good mental health is important, and professionals doing psychotherapy do not pass judgement or give corrections.     4     It is the best way to get at the roots of your real self-esteem problems.

    5     It will take some work but your entire life — from your relationships to your body image to your work habits — will be touched with the kind of power that only comes from someone believing in themselves. This is the hardest part, and the greatest leap. With some changes and support, you can improve your self-esteem and see how everything else changes as a result.

3 . One of the cores of emotional intelligence is self-regulation, an important skill in the workplace. Like any skill, mastery of emotional self-control requires intentionality and practice.     1    .

Pause to Mentally Distance

When you notice your typical physiological experiences associated with strong negative emotion, what should you do? Mentally step out of your immediate experience. Asking yourself any question, or imagining what you might look like to others right now, will do the trick. At that point, although still physiologically keyed up, you will be able to ask yourself, “What is the best course of action right now?” or “What advice would I give someone else who is in my shoes?”     2    .

Take Control of Your Self-Talk

We’re frequently unaware of how much self-chatter is going on in the background of our minds. Such self-talk might not be in fully articulated (铰接式的) words or phrases, but instead little flashes of thought. Becoming aware of your self-talk can be difficult. Why is this an important skill to develop?     3    . To genuinely ease a strong negative emotion requires tackling the source by examining the underlying belief and how accurate, reasonable, or useful it is.

Seek Support from Partners

Ask others you trust to help you recognize when your emotions seem to be getting the best of you.     4    . Agree on a gesture or word that might serve as a signal that your trusted individual wonders whether you’re riding the led-by-your-limbic-system train. Of course, there will be times they’re wrong. So, it’s important not to respond defensively when you get that signal. Reacting with anything other than gratitude ensures that your partner won’t take that risk again.

Cultivate (培养) Curiosity

Our brains are wired to draw conclusions and form judgments at lightning speed, and those are frequently the cause of our negative emotions.     5    , but we tend to run with them, sparking the self-talk that follows. Generally working to be more curious about other people’s experiences, including their self-identified motives for their behavior, helps avoid making hasty judgments.

That night the boss came home to his 14-year-old son. The father     1    (兴奋地告诉儿子) that he was given a blue ribbon by his manager，which made him surprised. He said,“It’s amazing that    2    (他解释道) how he admired me,thinking me a creative genius.”The boy     3    (低声含糊地说着什么) , as if he had heard nothing.“As I was driving home,I thought I should honor you with the blue ribbon,”the father raised his voice in a certain tone.

“My days are really busy and I don ‘t pay a lot of attention to you,”     4    (爸爸继续道).“I really shouldn’t have ignored you.”    5    (爸爸叹着气说) and put the ribbon in the boy’s hand.The boy hugged his father and started sobbing(啜泣).“You really make a difference to me, which is from the bottom of my heart,”    6    (爸爸说着鼓励的话).The boy raised his head and     7    (喃喃地说了声谢谢) with tears in his eyes，“Dad,I was the boy who gave your manager a ribbon.”

5 . Perhaps you’ve stopped doing what you want because you’re afraid of what others think of you. You feel that you must do what they expect and that you must meet their expectations, otherwise you’ll lose their approval.     1     Then, you’ll be able to do what you want freely.

Think about yourself, about what you really like and are interested in. You must lead your life independently.       2     However, you might feel afraid to do it because you’ ve always done everything to gain the approval of others. You need to get out of that zone, move to new places, and explore your full potential.

By surrounding yourself with people who think like you, you’ll realize that you don’t feel judged. Then, you’ll start doing what you really want.     3     Your new friends will integrate into your life and you’ll also keep your genuine friends. On the other hand, those who are always ready to see the negative and question what you’ re trying to do will drift away.

To overcome your fear of what others think and of their non-approval, you should start talking about your plans, For instance, you might want to tell a handful of friends about your wishes and dreams.     4     You’ll feel confident in yourself and you’ll be able to go on your new path without any fear.

It’s unavoidable that not everything will be plain sailing, and you’ll find obstacles along your way.     5     People in your environment often don’t understand what you do no matter how much you explain it, so ignore them.

Steven walked slowly to the bus,     1    (低着头), tears in his eyes. His friend John     2    (向他点头) and smiled at him. Though he was in a bad mood, he     3    (低下头)to hide it and managed a smile. When he got home, he     4    (埋头) under the quilt, pretending to be asleep. However, his mother stopped her housework,     5    (抬头) with surprise in her eyes. Then Steven rose, sat close to his mother,     6    (把头靠在) her shoulder, and could hardly resist weeping.

7 . Winter goes and summer comes. The tides_______; the tides withdraw. All nature is a circle of moods and I am a_______of nature. It is one of nature’s_______, little understood, that each day I_______with moods that have changed from yesterday. Inside me is a wheel,_______turning. Like the flowers, today’s full blossom will_______, yet I will remember today’s dead flower carries the seed of tomorrow’s blossom.

And how will I master these emotions so that each day will be_______? Trees and plants depend on the weather to_______, but I make my own weather. I_______it with me. If I bring enthusiasm to my customers, they will________with enthusiasm and my weather will produce a harvest of sales and a lot of gold for me. I will learn this secret: weak is he who permits his thoughts to control his actions; strong is he who________his actions to control his thoughts. Each day I will follow this plan of battle before I am________by the forces of sadness,________and failure. I will know only those with inferior(较次的) ability can always be________, and I am not inferior. If I feel depressed I will sing. If I feel________I will remember my goals.Yet, some emotions approach me with a smile, which can also destroy me. If I become overly proud, I will remember my weaknesses. If I feel my skill is________, I will look at the stars.

With this new knowledge I will make________of a person’s anger of today, for he doesn’t know the secret of controlling his mind. No longer will I judge a man on one________. This secret will be my key to great wealth. From this moment I am________to control whatever personality awakes in me each day. I will control my fate, which is to become the greatest________in the world!

8 . Understanding Your Feelings Helps You Name And Tame (驯服) Them

We all experience various feelings all the time. Some of them feel great, some feel unpleasant, and it’s helpful to be able to recognize and understand how you’re feeling so you know how to deal with it.

    1     They can include anger, sadness, worry, loneliness and shame, as well as surprise, happiness, courage and hope, among many others.    2     All feelings are there to be felt and some can be more uncomfortable than others. It’s OK and natural to experience different emotions – and that includes emotions that might not feel nice.

To deal with your feelings you need to recognize what they are.     3     Are your fists clenched (攥紧)? Does it seem like there’s a knot in your stomach? Next, pay attention to what you’re thinking at this time.     4     Or are you thinking that you really don’t want to do something? Once you have identified how you’re feeling, you can label it by saying, for example, “I’m feeling angry” or “I’m feeling lonely” .

You can understand a difficult feeling and help yourselfto handle it.     5     If you’re upset about a difficult feeling, like “I’m feeling angry”, you might count to ten to calm down. Perhaps you notice “I’m feeling nervous”, and you might talk to someone about it. The person you talk to may be able to give you reassurance, more information, a different point of view, or even help you take action to deal with the cause of your difficult feeling.

9 . How We Talk about Fear Matters

Lately, there seems to be plenty to fear in the world. How we talk about what we fear might offer clues to how we perceive that emotion socially and culturally.

Get the root of fear.

    1    . In Anglo Saxon times, “fear” primarily referred to sudden danger. The root of the word dates back to “pēr” from Indo-European about 6,000 years ago. This root suggests that fear developed from a sudden (frightening) experience you passed through.

Figure out the emotional meaning of fear.

Whether emotions are viewed positively or negatively varies from culture to culture.    2     . For instance, in English, the word “anxious” can be used to mean “worried” or “eager”. But the word meaning “anxious” just means “regret” in Dargwa. Therefore, many English speakers may not view anxiety as negatively as Dargwa speakers.

Find out a fearful pattern.

In looking at such patterns across the major language families, researchers found that the word “fear” was often associated with anxiety, envy and grief in Indo-European languages. But in Austronesian languages, “fear” more often was associated with surprise.     3     .

    4    

How we talk about fear changes how we react to it. When we talk about what frightens us, it may be useful to disrupt associated meanings. In addition, how our language categorizes an emotion seems to impact whether we perceive those emotions negatively or positively.

In conclusion, fear is something that can be changed by cultural and linguistic experience.    5     . Perhaps Roosevelt was right when he in famously said “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”

10 . Expressive writing or journaling is one way to help you heal from trauma (创伤).    1    . It can help you process what you’ve been through and assist you as you envision a path forward.

Why does a writing intervention work?    2    In fact, narrating the story of an ongoing anxiety “frees up” cognitive resources. When you write down the emotions associated with a traumatic experience, you may be changing the way it is organized in the brain. You are then able to detach from the emotion, making it easier for you to talk about and process the event.

However, for most people, the thought of acknowledging emotions and admitting that there’s something wrong with us is difficult. This is because expressing emotions can bring up feelings of guilt and shame.    3    That is what sets journaling apart. This is between you and your journal — you don’t have to share it with anyone unless, of course, you choose to.

If you’re interested in trying out writing as a tool for healing, start your writing by setting a timer for ten minutes.    4    Think of one object in your home that signifies a moment for you. See it in full color. Feel the weight of it. Use all your senses. Now, write about that object and see how large its meaning can become.

    5    How you heal from trauma can be different from person to person as well. It all depends on what works best for you. Remember, one size does not fit all. Writing may not work for everyone, but you won’t know if you don’t try.