2 . For all the talk of helicopter parents and their snowflake children, most parents I know are more concerned with whether their children’s development would be considered normal by experts than whether they are raising a prodigy (天才).

When the teen years arrive, the “Is it normal?” instinct can go into overdrive. Adolescence is marked by many changes, including ones that manifest(显示)physically and, their more challenging counterpart, ones that manifest emotionally. The moods and deep feelings are intense, and make many helicopter parents in a state of extreme panic.

But difficult feelings are often not a cause for concern, according to psychologist Lisa Damour in her new book, The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents. Not only are sadness and worrying healthy and natural parts of being a teenager, but the ability to experience these feelings(without a parent panicking)and to learn how to cope with them is developmentally necessary.

There is a lot of commercial marketing around wellness that can give people the impression that they are only mentally healthy or their kids are mentally healthy if they are feeling good, calm or relaxed. This is not an accurate definition of mental health. Mental distress is not only inevitable—it is part of mental health and experiencing it is part of how kids grow and mature.

There are many other healthy ways kids regulate emotions besides talking. Listening to mood-matching music is a very adaptive way to regulate as the experience of listening to the music catalyzes the emotion out of them. Teenagers also discharge emotions physically—by going through a run, jumping on a trampoline or banging on drums. Sometimes they will discharge them through creative channels like drawing or making music.

As adults, we should not diminish the value of emotional expression that brings relief, even if it doesn’t come in the verbal form to which we are most accustomed. Don’t join in because what we ultimately want is for our teens to become autonomous in dealing with their hard feelings.

Learn to Speak Chinese, Learn to Sing Chinese Songs

Thank you!

5 . There are countless articles online that will give you advice on how to deal with homesickness. Here are some of my favorite tips that have helped me.

    1    

Learn to cook with your friends or find new places to eat. Eating with friends makes things so much better. It’s a way to bond and an excuse to get closer. You even get rewarded for it.

Call home—but not every minute of every day.

I saw so many online sources express it in this way, “Talk to your parents—but not too much. Call home—but not too often.”     2     However, it’s a problem when you’re talking to them so much that it’s stopping you from having real experiences in this new place.

Explore.

    3     It took me a while to do this because I focused so much on my studies, but it’s really important. To me, being homesick was a sign that I needed to organize my time better. So I could take a break and go for a walk.

Find a way to deal with your emotions.

I got a guitar during my sophomore (大学二年级) year of university because that’s what I like doing when I’m by myself. I keep a journal because it makes me feel better and productive if I need time by myself but I don’t want to feel lonely.

An outlet(发泄方式) for your emotions can take any shape or form. Whatever it is, it’s important that you find a way to deal with your emotions. Don’t avoid them, but try to understand them.     4     If you focus too much on the negatives, you might forget to see the positives.

Talk to someone.

There is nothing wrong with finding someone to talk to about how you’re feeling.     5     Or it may mean talking to a counselor(顾问) if that’s what you think you need.

There is nothing wrong with being homesick. It’s normal. It’s part of the experience. We all feel things differently, but everything you learn while you are abroad will help you grow.

6 . Every fall, like clockwork, Linda Krentz of Beaverton, Oregon, felt her brain go on strike. “I just couldn’t get going in the morning,” she says. “I’d get depressed and gain 10 pounds every winter and lose them again in the spring.” Then she read about seasonal affective disorder, a form of depression that occurs in fall and winter, and she saw the light literally. Every morning now she turns on a specially constructed light box for half an hour and sits in front of it to trick her brain into thinking it’s still enjoying those long summer days. It seems to work.

Krentz is not alone. Scientists estimate that 10 million Americans suffer from seasonal depression and 25 million more develop milder versions. But there’s never been definitive proof that treatment with very bright lights makes a difference. After all, it’s hard to do a double-blind test when the subjects can see for themselves whether or not the light is on. That’s why nobody has ever separated the real effects of light therapy from placebo (安慰剂) effects.

Until now, in three separate studies published last month, researchers report not only that light therapy works better than a placebo but that treatment is usually more effective in the early morning than in the evening. In two of the groups, the placebo problem was resolved by telling patients they were comparing light boxes to a new anti-depressant device that gives off negatively charged ions (离子). The third used the timing of light therapy as the control.

Why does light therapy work? No one really knows. “Our research suggests it has something to do with shifting the body’s internal clock,” says psychiatrist Dr. Lewey. The body is programmed to start the day with sunrise, he explains, and this gets later as the days get shorter. But why such subtle shifts make some people depressed and not others is a mystery.

That hasn’t stopped thousands of winter depressives from trying to heal themselves. Light boxes for that purpose are available without a doctor’s prescription. That bothers psychologist Michael Terman of Columbia University. He is worried that the boxes may be tried by patients who suffer from mental illness that can’t be treated with light. Terman has developed a questionnaire to help determine whether expert care is needed.

In any event, you should choose a reputable manufacturer. Whatever product you use should give off only visible light, because ultraviolet light damages the eyes. If you are photosensitive (对光敏感的), you may develop a rash. Otherwise, the main drawback is having to sit in front of the light for 30 to 60 minutes in the morning. That’s an inconvenience many winter depressives can live with.