Yours sincerely,

Li Hua

3 . How to Make Friends at a New School

Starting with a new school can be difficult. Everything seems to be different, and you don’t even know where to go for your own classes.     1     However, if you use these skills, you can quickly turn some of those strangers into friends.

    2     If some people don’t accept you, they’re not the kind of friends you need. People often stay together because they have similar interests. For example, someone who does a lot of sports may make friends with those who also run or swim a lot.

Remember to be nice to the people you meet at your new school. If you think that you will say something that may make them feel sad, do not say anything and just nod your head if they talk to you. Also, remember to be as helpful as possible!

A smile goes a long way. When you walk in the halls, don’t keep your eyes on the floor. Raise your head and make eye contact with other people.     4     Introduce yourself. Tell them your name and where you’re from.

You like it when people use your name, and so do other people.     5     Besides, ask them in a kind way if they have a nickname. You’d be surprised how often this may come in handy.

Friendship

The homemade book bag was sprawled (随意放在) across my bed. It appeared to have taken over the entire room. I closed my eyes for a second, trying to imagine the large shoulder bag gone. I opened my eyes again. It was still there. I knew that my mom had spent all day happily sewing. Worse still, I realized that the fabric (布料) was actually left over from a toy horse that my mom made for me when I was a baby. My mother had even quilted (缝制) little running horses along each side and wrote my name on one side to make certain that no one would be confused as to who owned this furry monster.

“Do you like it? If you don’t like it, you don’t have to use it,” Mom said.

“Oh no, Mom, I love it,” I lied, picking the bag up and rubbing (摩挲) the soft fabric against my face. The last thing I wanted to do was to hurt her feelings.

The next day I was to start seventh grade at a new school. I was nervous and excited. That first day at school I heard the whispers. “Have you seen the new girl? Did you see that big furry bag?” Then there were giggles.

Because I started school in the middle of the year, all of the lockers had been assigned to other kids. There was no storage available for me, so I was forced to haul all my stuff around in the oversized fuzzy bag. Wild stories flew back and forth about what I kept in the bag that never left my side. Drugs? some kids wondered. Clothes? Is she homeless?

There was nothing interesting in that bag, just my coat during cold weather, school books, papers and pens. Eventually, most students pretty much ignored me, but some of the kids teased me about the fuzzy horse bag. People grabbed at it, pretended to pat it like a dog and tried to toss their trash into it. My teachers didn’t seem to notice, probably because I didn’t ever complain or ask for help.

As the year progressed, I started to hate that bag. I blamed all my problems on it. I felt helpless and alone, miserable, and homesick for California and my old friends.

One day toward the end of the school year, my math teacher assigned each student a partner to work with on word problems. I was told to work with Debbie, a popular redheaded girl who was in several of my classes.

The Red Tool Box

It was early in 1981 when I first met George. I was in my early 30s, seeking a creative outlet unrelated to the boredom of housework and raising little ones. My children, then aged three and five, were just entering kindergarten and school life. At 65, George had recently retired and was seeking a rewarding hobby for his golden years. For both of us, painting was ‘it’ and we met at a local TAFE painting class.

George was a man who lived life to the full; he worked hard, played hard, and had an opinion about everything. He adored his wife, his family, his friends, and was loyal and outspoken to an equal degree. George took pride in his fitness and walked three kilometers every day.

And as the only male in a painting class full of women, George was in his element. He took to painting with an awe-inspiring level of passion and devotion, even transforming the spare bedroom of his home into a studio. His painting equipment was comprehensive an easel (画架), quality paints, linseed oil, turpentine, brushes, 8 palette, canvases, charcoal pencils, fixative, palette knives — even a rolling pin for removing air bubbles when gluing. Ever practical, George housed many of these items in a red metal tool box purchased from a local hardware store. Not fancy, but shiny and very red-the sports car of conveyance for painting equipment.

For about six years George and I studied together through various units until the completion of the course and other commitments drew us apart, though we always maintained personal contact as we lived within a couple of kilometers of each other. I’d sometimes see him on his daily walk or at the local shops and occasionally we’d touch base with a ‘proper’ afternoon tea, sharing a cuppa and a chinwag (聊天).

Let’s fast-forward some years and George was about 80 years old.

George rang one day and asked me to go to his house, saying he needed to ask me something.

And so it was that George left all his painting equipment to me.

10 . How to Keep Long-Distance Friendships

Don’t let distance keep you away from your friends. Use these tips to stay close with your friends.

    1     Because of kinds of reasons, you and your friends might not be able to chat on the phone every day or even every week. Anyway, you should try to find suitable time to chat with your friends. My best friend from high school is a new mom and we are in different time zones. But she makes an effort every few weeks to call me on her drive home from work. When I go back home our friendship feels like I’d never left.

Share small things.     2     It can help you know about each other. My friends and I text each other about the small things like having to work late or losing an earring.

Use social media. Using social media is a good way to keep your long-distance friendships going. It allows you to keep up with your friends’ lives. It can also help you learn more about their other friends.     3    

Vacation together.     4       One friend and I haven’t lived in the same state for 5 years, but I can see her on trips. By going on trips, we can not only stay in touch, but also can create new memories together.

Not every friendship is a friendship that can survive long distance.     5