1 . One of the cores of emotional intelligence is self-regulation, an important skill in the workplace. Like any skill, mastery of emotional self-control requires intentionality and practice.     1    .

Pause to Mentally Distance

When you notice your typical physiological experiences associated with strong negative emotion, what should you do? Mentally step out of your immediate experience. Asking yourself any question, or imagining what you might look like to others right now, will do the trick. At that point, although still physiologically keyed up, you will be able to ask yourself, “What is the best course of action right now?” or “What advice would I give someone else who is in my shoes?”     2    .

Take Control of Your Self-Talk

We’re frequently unaware of how much self-chatter is going on in the background of our minds. Such self-talk might not be in fully articulated (铰接式的) words or phrases, but instead little flashes of thought. Becoming aware of your self-talk can be difficult. Why is this an important skill to develop?     3    . To genuinely ease a strong negative emotion requires tackling the source by examining the underlying belief and how accurate, reasonable, or useful it is.

Seek Support from Partners

Ask others you trust to help you recognize when your emotions seem to be getting the best of you.     4    . Agree on a gesture or word that might serve as a signal that your trusted individual wonders whether you’re riding the led-by-your-limbic-system train. Of course, there will be times they’re wrong. So, it’s important not to respond defensively when you get that signal. Reacting with anything other than gratitude ensures that your partner won’t take that risk again.

Cultivate (培养) Curiosity

Our brains are wired to draw conclusions and form judgments at lightning speed, and those are frequently the cause of our negative emotions.     5    , but we tend to run with them, sparking the self-talk that follows. Generally working to be more curious about other people’s experiences, including their self-identified motives for their behavior, helps avoid making hasty judgments.

2 . Ways to Embrace Solitude (独处)

For many, being alone is something they shy away from because it’s like loneliness. But loneliness and solitude are not the same.    1    . The latter offers a chance to direct attention to self-care and self-discovery without outside influences or expectations from others. It sharpens your concentration and helps you focus on your tasks and also boosts your creativity regularly.

Psychologists even consider solitude as important as relationships and view the ability to be alone as a sign of healthy emotional development.    2    , just as people learn social skills to guide themselves in the world of relationships successfully. And some specific strategies may make it a constructive, enjoyable experience.

Enjoy solitary activities

People who enjoy solitude find satisfaction and meaning when getting absorbed in a hobby, reading for pleasure, or getting out in nature. They rarely experience boredom when they’re alone and genuinely enjoy themselves while doing something interesting.

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In solitude, buried feelings, memories, or problems can surface. Rather than avoid being discouraged by them, you can learn to engage in the regulation with curiosity, using the private time to explore your feelings without judgment. Accepting and expressing them safely helps you self-regulate and release stress.

Be self-reflective

People who enjoy solitude are willing to self-reflect.    4    , reflecting on their values, or considering the bigger picture. Instead of going round about situations you can’t control, self-reflection invites self- awareness, bringing you closer to insight about who you are.

Know when to exit solitude

    5    , if you begin to feel lonely or your thoughts turn to self-harm. It is equally important to know when it’s time to leave solitude and seek the company of others.