1 . One of the cores of emotional intelligence is self-regulation, an important skill in the workplace. Like any skill, mastery of emotional self-control requires intentionality and practice.     1    .

Pause to Mentally Distance

When you notice your typical physiological experiences associated with strong negative emotion, what should you do? Mentally step out of your immediate experience. Asking yourself any question, or imagining what you might look like to others right now, will do the trick. At that point, although still physiologically keyed up, you will be able to ask yourself, “What is the best course of action right now?” or “What advice would I give someone else who is in my shoes?”     2    .

Take Control of Your Self-Talk

We’re frequently unaware of how much self-chatter is going on in the background of our minds. Such self-talk might not be in fully articulated (铰接式的) words or phrases, but instead little flashes of thought. Becoming aware of your self-talk can be difficult. Why is this an important skill to develop?     3    . To genuinely ease a strong negative emotion requires tackling the source by examining the underlying belief and how accurate, reasonable, or useful it is.

Seek Support from Partners

Ask others you trust to help you recognize when your emotions seem to be getting the best of you.     4    . Agree on a gesture or word that might serve as a signal that your trusted individual wonders whether you’re riding the led-by-your-limbic-system train. Of course, there will be times they’re wrong. So, it’s important not to respond defensively when you get that signal. Reacting with anything other than gratitude ensures that your partner won’t take that risk again.

Cultivate (培养) Curiosity

Our brains are wired to draw conclusions and form judgments at lightning speed, and those are frequently the cause of our negative emotions.     5    , but we tend to run with them, sparking the self-talk that follows. Generally working to be more curious about other people’s experiences, including their self-identified motives for their behavior, helps avoid making hasty judgments.

2 . Perhaps you’ve stopped doing what you want because you’re afraid of what others think of you. You feel that you must do what they expect and that you must meet their expectations, otherwise you’ll lose their approval.     1     Then, you’ll be able to do what you want freely.

Think about yourself, about what you really like and are interested in. You must lead your life independently.       2     However, you might feel afraid to do it because you’ ve always done everything to gain the approval of others. You need to get out of that zone, move to new places, and explore your full potential.

By surrounding yourself with people who think like you, you’ll realize that you don’t feel judged. Then, you’ll start doing what you really want.     3     Your new friends will integrate into your life and you’ll also keep your genuine friends. On the other hand, those who are always ready to see the negative and question what you’ re trying to do will drift away.

To overcome your fear of what others think and of their non-approval, you should start talking about your plans, For instance, you might want to tell a handful of friends about your wishes and dreams.     4     You’ll feel confident in yourself and you’ll be able to go on your new path without any fear.

It’s unavoidable that not everything will be plain sailing, and you’ll find obstacles along your way.     5     People in your environment often don’t understand what you do no matter how much you explain it, so ignore them.

3 . How to Overcome Jealousy

Everyone feels a little jealous once in a while — maybe someone was acting better than you, or maybe your best friend has been having much fun with a new coworker.

However,     1     they can actually cause a conflict between you and the person you want to be closest to. To save the relationship and get some peace of mind, take some time to sort through your feelings before you act on them.

Admit how you’re feeling to yourself before you do anything else. If you notice you’re feeling a little jealous, take a few minutes to check in with yourself. It’s perfectly normal to get jealous once in a while, so don’t judge your feelings — just let yourself acknowledge that’s what’s going on.    2    .

Don’t act on your jealousy while you’re upset.    3    . There’s nothing wrong with simply feeling jealous — it happens to everyone, However, feeling jealous doesn’t mean you have to withdraw from your partner, or accuse them of anything. If you can observe how you’re feeling without acting on it, you may actually feel your jealousy starting to decrease.

    4    . Focus on your positive qualities. Jealousy can sometimes be rooted in insecurity and low self-esteem. However, it’s really important to remember that you re unique, with your own special talents. When you can embrace these, you’ll be less likely to feel jealous or insecure.

Remember that other people have problems, too.    5    . That can sometimes fuel jealous feelings, because you might feel like you want what they have, or that they can come and take what you have. Don’t fall into that trap, though, — other people often have problems that you never know about, no matter what their life looks like from the outside.

4 . Shyness is normal and it is not considered as a mental problem. All people have been shy at one time or another. Even the most confident people experienced being shy.     1    .

You probably are wondering why you are shy. It may be because of the environment you were used to or the way you were brought up. Certain events or incidents in the past may also lead to the reason why you are shy now.     2     Most shy people have shy parents and relatives and it is not surprising to find out that they too have become shy persons.

One of the negative sides of being shy is having the tendency to be passive. Most of the time shy people can’t stand up for themselves and what they believe is right.     3    This apparently influences their social life as well as work, family and other aspects of their life.

While shyness has negative aspects, it has positive sides. Shy people are usually good observers and do not get themselves into too much trouble because they try to observe their environment or any situation before they act.     4     They can also make great friends. Since they have difficulties in social scenes, making friends seems to be a must. Therefore, they value their friends wholeheartedly and have proven to be loyal and thoughtful friends.

    5     Some of them born with shy parents have successfully battled against being shy. This contributes to their constant self-improvement, developing self-esteem and trying to be exposed to new environments.