3 . I was at a new school in a new state and needed something solid to stand on: a place to feel grounded. I also needed to do laundry, so I walked to a nearby self-service laundry and stuffed a machine with my clothes. As I struggled to close the washer door, the woman working behind the counter told me to give it a good hit with my hand. The washer did its job, yet even after an hour, the dryer seemed to have barely warmed my clothes. I left, having decided to air-dry them on my car in the August heat.

A month later, I learned her name was Sandy, which she told me after I’d helped her stop a washing machine from moving across the floor. I was grading poems at a table when one of the washers broke loose and skipped an inch into the air. I jumped to the machine and held on while she unplugged it. The next week, Sandy told me dryer No. 8 was the fastest.

It went on like this. I’d do laundry once a week, usually Thursday or Friday. Sandy worked Tuesday through Saturday and we’d talk small while I folded clothes. She told me about her son and his grades, as well as the new dog they’d just adopted. She was fascinated that I was studying poetry. She teased (开玩笑) that it was harder making a living as a poet than as a laundry attendant. Even then I knew she was probably right.

I began to recognize others there: workers taking breaks by the door, a mother and her baby, and even some delivery drivers. But Sandy was the center of my community. For nearly three years and almost every week, I’d do laundry and talk with her. We checked on each other, expecting the other to be there. We asked where the other had gone when we missed a week. There was a note of concern for the other’s absence, a note of joy at their return.

I’d found a place to stand on solid ground.

7 . Friendship needs care and attention to keep it in good health. Here are five ways to sustain (保持) long-distance friendships.

Long-lasting friendships share the characteristic that both sides equally contact (联系) and share with one another. With busy schedules, squeezing in phone calls can be a challenge.     1    .

Make sure you have communicated with your friend about how frequently each of you wants to be contacted and what method works best for you both.     2    . There are alternatives to constant written communication, such as leaving voice messages or having a group chat.

    3    . The friend who is remaining needs to be sensitive to all the additional time demands placed on the friend who has moved. The one in the new environment should be sympathetic to the fact that your friend may feel abandoned.

Anniversaries and birthdays carry even more weight in long-distance friendships. Although technology might make day-to-day communication possible, extra effort goes a long way on special days. Simply keeping a diary that keeps track of friends’ birthdays and other important dates will make sure nothing slips by you.

    5    , but long-distance friendships — even close ones — may require more conscious effort to sustain. Try to seek out chances to renew friendships. How to do it? Just spend face-to-face time together whenever possible.

8 . Have you ever bought a gift for a friend, simply because it’s a gift that you like yourself?     1     Such activity is called “social projection (投射)” and is the focus of new marketing research.

The study, “I Love the Product, but Will You? The Role of Interpersonal Attachment Styles in Social Projection,” is authored by David, an assistant professor of marketing, and published in Psychology & Marketing. Research results are based on the surveys of 1,272 people.

The research reveals that people who are “secure” in interpersonal settings are the ones most likely to engage in social projection. Conversely(相反)，those who are “anxious” in such settings are less likely to assume that others share their own preferences.     2    

“You’d think that secure people who tend to be older, in a committed relationship and earn a higher-income with lots of friends and healthy personal relationships would have a better idea of what someone would like as a gift.    3     David said. “This research shows that individuals who are anxious in interpersonal situations and who have fewer close, personal relationships are better at predicting what a person may like.”

    4     Anxious individuals, on the contrary, tend to be younger and earn a lower income. Securely attached persons, who are people expecting others will be available and supportive when needed, are more likely to choose a gift based on their own preferences, while an anxious one more likely to consider what the recipients(接收者) may like.

Gifts should be thoughtful. Therefore, secure people should be mindful of their choice of gifts. They need to take caution when selecting and buying gifts.     5    

9 . How would you feel if moving to a new town meant losing track of your friends? What if the only way of getting news from faraway friends was writing letters that took ages to be delivered?     1     Thanks to advances in technology, how we make friends and communicate with them has changed significantly.

Nowadays, we can move around the world and still stay in touch with the people that we want to remain friends with. Social media tools let us see what our friends are up to and maintain friendships.     2    

The digital age also enables us to find people who share our interests, such as collecting model cars or playing an unusual instrument. Whatever our hobbies, the Internet can connect us with others who also enjoy doing them, even if they live on the other side of the world.

But when you “friend” people online, does this mean that they really are your friends?

    3    

If people always exchange true personal information online, then yes, these friendships can be real and meaningful. But we need to keep in mind that what we see on social media is often not the whole truth about a person.

On social media sites, people tend to post only positive updates that make them appear happy and friendly. But smiling photos can hide real problems.     4     A young person could be old; a woman could be a man; we could even be sharing our information with criminals.

    5     Although technology has changed the way we acquire friends, the meaning of friendship and our longing for friends remain the same. As Aristotle said, no one would choose to live without friends, even if he had all other goods.

10 . Tolerance means tolerating or putting up with differences.

    1    This concept means different things to different people, but it is when something is disagreeable   that tolerance is expected, and in more politically correct cultures, demanded.

There are many different ways to show tolerance. A person might fully disagree with other on any issue,while at the same respecting those with different opinions and treat them with dignity    2    .

One problem is the fact this respect is sometimes one-sided.     3    , but some supporters feel reasonable in labeling those who disagree with hateful terms,and vice versa.People on both sides of an issue must be tolerant of each other.

    4     ,It does not mean that a person has to accept actions or ideas that are against his or her values or beliefs. it means that each person agrees to respect the other's right to his or her feelings on the matter. When both parties have expressed their opinions, and it is obvious that neither is likely to change position, agreeing to disagree is often the ideal outcome.

Some degree of tolerance   is necessary in any civilized society.    5    .It goes against human nature. Putting up with differences is a virtue that requires honest effort on the part of every person. It takes time to develop.