1 . How To Stop Bein g A People Pleaser

As a recovering people pleaser, I spent much of my life keeping others happy. Breaking this habit meant stepping on a few toes. However, I’ve become a happier person as a result. Here are some tips I used to stop being a people pleaser.

Identify your priorities. Take a moment to think about why you are trying to learn how to stop being a people pleaser.     1     Why do you feel the need to keep them happy? Answering these questions will help you set a goal that you can hold yourself accountable to.

Just say “no”. One reason why people pleasers say “yes” to everything is that they fear disappointing others.     2     If you are a people pleaser, you are likely to spend lots of energy trying to control how people feel about you. The best thing you can do is let them feel their feelings. It will feel liberating to free yourself from being responsible for someone else’s reaction.

    3     Saying “no” is a good way to set better boundaries in your important relationships. All healthy relationships have their own boundaries. If you haven’t set boundaries in your relationships, the odds are that at some point you will end up feeling pressured to do something you don’t want to do.

Accept yourself. Many people pleasers are insecure about who they are.     4     Check out our summary of Brené Brown’s the Gifts of Imperfection to learn how to accept your imperfections and love yourself.

Remember that you cannot please everyone. No matter what you do there will always be someone who is unhappy with your choices.     5    

A．Learn to set healthy boundaries.

B．Don’t mix up your boundaries with others’.

C．Who are the people that you feel the need to please?

D．Spend some time learning to love yourself for who you are.

E．So why bother trying to please everyone if it isn’t possible?

F．But saying “no” is the best way to take care of your own needs.

G．That is why the more you seek security, the less of it you have.

2 . Being a social butterfly just might change your brain: In people with a large network of friends and excellent social skills, certain brain regions are bigger and _______ connected than in people with fewer friends, a new study finds.

The research suggests a _______ between social interactions and brain structure. “We’re interested in how your brain is able to allow you to _______ the right way in complex social environments,” Mary Ann Noonan said, a neuroscientist (神经学家) at Oxford University. Studies in monkeys have shown that brain areas involved in face processing and in predicting the _______ of others are larger in animals living in large social groups than in ones living in smaller groups.

To investigate these brain _______ in humans, Noonan and her colleagues found 18 participants for a structural brain-imaging study. They asked people how many _______ they had experienced in the past month, in order to determine the size of their social networks. As was the case in monkeys, some brain areas were _______ and better connected in people with larger social networks. “These different brain regions are all singing _______ songs,” Noonan said. “ _______ areas are all singing the same song, and when they’re connected better, they’re singing more harmoniously with each other.”

The researchers also tested whether the size of a person’s social network was connected with ________ in white-matter pathways, the nerve fibers (纤维) that connect different brain regions. ________ , they found that white-matter pathways were better connected in people with bigger social networks. “The nerves were more like a Los Angeles freeway than a ________ road,” Noonan said.

The researchers couldn’t say whether social interaction ________ these changes in brain structure and connectivity, or whether the brain determined how social someone was. In the case of the monkeys, the researchers asked and wrote down the size of the animals’ social network, so they ________ that social-group size was causing the brain differences. It can be inferred that a similar process takes place in human brains, but to prove the ________ , long-term studies are needed, Noonan told Live Science.

1.

A．better

B．more directly

C．less closely

D．worse

2.

A．conflict

B．similarity

C．link

D．contrast

3.

A．tell

B．show

C．ask

D．find

4.

A．intentions

B．preferences

C．behaviors

D．habits

5.

A．structures

B．highlights

C．differences

D．origins

6.

A．academic difficulties

B．social interactions

C．personal problems

D．career advances

7.

A．removed

B．adapted

C．replaced

D．enlarged

8.

A．joyful

B．familiar

C．inspirational

D．distinct

9.

A．Networked

B．Remote

C．Respective

D．Functional

10.

A．positions

B．changes

C．roles

D．compositions

11.

A．However

B．Again

C．Therefore

D．Rather

12.

A．urban

B．smooth

C．twisty

D．country

13.

A．minimized

B．drove

C．eliminated

D．demonstrated

14.

A．assumed

B．rejected

C．concluded

D．announced

15.

A．causality

B．feasibility

C．productivity

D．effectiveness

3 . Being vulnerable (脆弱的) is not a choice. It’s a _________ in our life. What we do with vulnerability can either open doors to deeper connections, or build walls that _________ progress and fulfillment.

Vulnerability _________ the state of being exposed to the possibility of being harmed, either physically or emotionally. It’s part of human _________ because we are vulnerable in some way at all times. We are vulnerable to viruses, accidents, misunderstandings and _________ caused by whatever reasons. The only choice we really have is whether to _________ it or not.

When some people _________ that they have no vulnerability, they are hard to develop meaningful social connections with others. They are just _________. No one likes to spend much time with people who are dishonest or _________ to open up their feelings. Most of the time, a great friendship starts by __________ each other’s vulnerability.

Indeed, it’s not easy for us to admit our vulnerability in front of others. In order to protect ourselves, we tend to struggle with __________. But in fact, when we are vulnerable with people, we have signaled that they can also __________ share their anxieties. And we don’t have to worry too much about the results because a far more common reaction of people is to respect our __________ instead of laughing at us. Under this shared circumstance, we become less __________ by vulnerability and also we __________ a relationship.

1.

A．secret

B．reality

C．skill

D．purpose

2.

A．report

B．reveal

C．replace

D．prevent

3.

A．refers to

B．consists of

C．relies on

D．sticks to

4.

A．belief

B．error

C．rights

D．nature

5.

A．memories

B．lessons

C．experiences

D．pains

6.

A．follow

B．analyse

C．acknowledge

D．remove

7.

A．claim

B．doubt

C．celebrate

D．neglect

8.

A．hesitating

B．complaining

C．lying

D．waiting

9.

A．motivated

B．unwilling

C．desperate

D．unafraid

10.

A．blaming

B．spreading

C．teasing

D．exchanging

11.

A．criticism

B．fear

C．anger

D．hopelessness

12.

A．surprisingly

B．cautiously

C．safely

D．gratefully

13.

A．bravery

B．humor

C．ability

D．understanding

14.

A．impressed

B．affected

C．improved

D．reminded

15.

A．stand

B．request

C．strengthen

D．measure

4 . Social scientists have long understood that when people are smart and skilled, they’re likely to gain trust. To appear more capable — and therefore more trustworthy — many people tend to boast (吹嘘), according to another longstanding theory that researchers call impression management. But a new paper suggests that the common method people use to gain trust could have the opposite effect.

“If you consider yourself a highly capable individual, have a good education, are successful in life, then don’t talk too proudly about it when presenting yourself to others or managing impressions about what you can do,” said Martin Reimann, the paper’s lead author. “It can backfire, and people might become distrusting.”

“Since impression management is so widespread, we wondered how it impacts the well-known effect of ability on trust,” Reimann said.

To answer the question, the researchers designed seven online experiments concerning participants’ trust. In one experiment, for example, participants shopped for a TV in an online marketplace, similar to Amazon, with third-party vendors (销售商). Customer reviews with star ratings told participants how capable or competent vendors were, and each vendor’s ad either did or did not include a boastful statement of self-promotion.

Designing seven studies, Reimann said, allowed the researchers to reach more people and explore a range of variables that might affect someone’s willingness to trust. There were more than 106,000 participants across all seven studies.

The experiments showed that participants were more likely, unsurprisingly, to trust people or companies that appeared more capable. But every study also showed that highly capable people or companies were viewed as less trustworthy if they also boastfully promoted themselves.

“We see trust as a central concept that holds together society,” Reimann added. “If we don’t trust each other, then a lot of processes could come to a standstill. It’s important to understand what it is in the first place that leads people to trust each other, and how we can encourage that at different levels of society. That’s what we want to further uncover.”

1. According to the text, what do many people do by impression management?

A．Make themselves seem more important.	B．Remind others that boasting will lose trust.
C．Show what their impression of someone is.	D．Prove that they have become more capable.

2. Which of the following in the experiment was connected with boasting?

A．A TV.

B．Participants.

C．Vendors.

D．Customer reviews.

3. What will the researchers’ future study focus on?

A．The bad effects of boasting.	B．People’s views on boasting.
C．Promotion of trust among people.	D．Different levels of trust in society.

4. What is the main idea of the text?

A．People need to be able to trust each other.	B．Boasting could make people trust you less.
C．People’s trust depends on how honest you are.	D．Being good at your job helps you to gain trust.

5 . Five Tips to Develop Leadership Qualities

●Know about yourself to develop your self-awareness. A good leader is in tune not only with their team members but with themselves as well.     1     Think about how your personality will affect your team members.

●Learn as much as you can about your field.     2     Knowing what you’re talking about will build your confidence and earn your team’s trust. While it’s impossible to know everything, your team might doubt your abilities if you say “I don’t know” to every question they ask.

●Find a consultant who can teach you new skills. There’s always room to grow, even if you’re in a top leadership position.     3     Ask them to chat over coffee or lunch, or see if they’re open to being a long-term mentor. When you meet, ask them things like, “What qualities do you look for in a leader?” “How do you gain people’s respect?” and “What’s the most challenging part about being a leader?” and see what they have to say. Look for role models who’ve overcome challenges and reached goals similar to your own.

●    4     A good leader is able to resolve conflicts between others at work without taking sides. If there’s a heated disagreement between team members, work with them to identify the root of the issue and listen to both sides of the story. After that, open up a dialogue to begin looking for a solution that will benefit both parties.

●Go into things with a positive mindset. Positivity is great for boosting your team’s morale (士气), increasing productivity, and forming healthy relationships between team members. Discouraging gossip (流言蜚语) amongst team members can go a long way towards creating a more positive environment.     5    

A．Learn how to manage conflicts.

B．Take every opportunity to increase your knowledge.

C．Reach out to others you admire who have strong leadership skills.

D．Let others know you disapprove of gossip if they try to bring it up.

E．It’s wrong to think that spreading gossip will help make you stand out.

F．Being a consultant requires special skills and a desire to constantly learn.

G．Reflect on your strengths and weaknesses to figure out what kind of leader you are.

6 . Saying “thank you” when you receive an unexpected gift is all well and good, but how can you get a little creative with your appreciation? As it turns out, there are plenty of ways to express your gratitude to others while remaining gracious and sincere.     1    . We’ll show you how to say thank you in exciting and meaningful ways!

I appreciate this.     2    . A great “thank you” involves expressing appreciation for the gift and explaining why you’re grateful. For added value, you can even describe what you’ll do with their gifts if you have an idea.

You’ve made my day! Show them that their gifts turned your day around. Telling someone that they made your day will make the giver feel that their gifts are much more meaningful and worthwhile.     3     .

It’s like you read my mind! Thank you. Compliment (恭维) their gift-giving skills.     4     , it can be likely that they really know you and are anticipating your needs without having to ask you what you want! Show them how touched you are by letting them know that their gifts are exactly what you want.

    5    . Show them how surprised you are. If someone goes out of their way to give you an unexpected gift, make sure they know they succeeded in their mission to surprise and delight you. Say “thanks” and express your shock at the same time. For example, you should have seen me; my eyes almost popped out of my head! Thank you for the lovely surprise.

A．I’m extremely astonished

B．When someone gives you a gift

C．If people choose to spend time with you

D．It is impolite of you to say those words

E．You may receive gifts from others in daily life

F．Be specific about what you appreciate and why

G．They’ll be pleased that they were able to make you smile

7 . Have you ever struggled to understand how someone else feels? Building up your empathy (同理心) skills helps you connect with your friends.     1    

What is empathy?

Empathy is a kind of capability that lets you step into someone else’s shoes and then figure out how they are feeling. For instance, if you can see your friend is upset after losing a football match and you support them by telling them some warm and motivating words, you are showing empathy. Miranda McKeamey set up an organization called EmpathyLab that builds empathy through reading.     2     “Empathy is a force for change,” she says.

    3    

Scientists say empathy isn’t something you are born with, it’s a skill you can acquire through learning. One way you can do this is by active listening. When someone is talking to you, listen closely and respond in a way that shows you understand their situations and emotions thoroughly. Reading, advocated by EmpathyLab, is also a great way to boost empathy, since stories can take you inside someone else’s mind and show you the world through their eves and emotions.

Put empathy into action.

    4     This could mean trying out something that is important to a friend or family member, like exploring their favorite place. EmpathyLab advocated ideas for putting empathy into action in schools or at home. That might be connecting with someone new in your class and having a friendly conversation, or making small changes to your behaviour. All small acts of kindness to others can make a difference, which in turn will be copied by someone else.     5    

A．How can you have more empathy?

B．Who need empathy most in daily life?

C．Besides, it also spreads kindness and inspires them to do the same.

D．To find out more conducts you can do, log in EmpathyLab.UK.com.

E．Only by putting empathy into action can you relate to others’ bad lives.

F．She believes even small, supportive actions can have a positive impact.

G．Miranda recommends going into the thick of people’s lives to show empathy.

8 . For 85 years, the Harvard Study of Adult Development has tracked an original group of 724 men and more than 1,300 of their male and female descendants (后代) over three generations, asking thousands of questions and taking hundreds of measurements to find out what really keeps people healthy and happy.

Through all the years of studying these lives, one crucial factor stands out for the consistency and power of its bond to physical health, mental health and longevity: good relationships.

In 2008, researchers telephoned the wives and husbands of Harvard Study couples in their 80s every night for eight nights. Researchers spoke to each partner separately and asked them a series of questions about their days.

On days when these men and women spent more time in the company of others, they were happier. Like most older people, those in the Harvard Study experienced day-to-day rises and falls in their levels of physical pain and health difficulties. But researchers found that the people who were in more satisfying relationships were cushioned (缓冲) somewhat from these ups and downs of mood—their happiness did not decline as much on the days when they had more pain. Simply put, their happy marriages seemed to have a protective effect.

Elizabeth Gillespie, a therapist of couples, stated that although most of us found that our experience of relationships might be hard, and at times, impossible, it is essential to our well-being.

Today we live in much more complicated environments, so meeting our social needs presents different challenges. We might be sitting on a gold mine of vitality that we are not paying attention to, because it is hidden by the shiny appeal of smartphones or pushed to the side by work demands.

1. What’s the purpose of the Harvard Study of Adult Development?

A．To study their lives over three generations.

B．To reveal the secret to health and well-being.

C．To track the descendants of an original group.

D．To study the relationship between health and happiness.

2. How did the researchers carry out the study?

A．By working with other researchers.

B．By tracking specific groups of people.

C．By helping participants with social difficulties.

D．By comparing the results from different people.

3. Why did the author mention the examples in Paragraph 4?

A．To provide evidence for the bond of health and longevity.

B．To introduce the concept of physical pain and health difficulties.

C．To show the negative impact of unhappy marriages on older people’s mood.

D．To support the positive impact of satisfying relationships on people’s lives.

4. According to Elizabeth Gillespie, what is essential to our well-being?

A．Having good social connections.

B．Declining pains and difficulties.

C．Overcoming ups and downs of mood.

D．Experiencing rises and falls of physical health.

9 . How to treat each other well

The following tips can help you enjoy a healthy and satisfying relationship.

Create a foundation of respect.     1    . However, it is important to make sure that you and your partner are rooted in respect. Act in ways that demand respect from your partner. Struggle to treat each other with respect at all times, even when you are mad at each other.

Appreciate each other. A healthy relationship should be one in which you and your partner feel appreciated. Often, relationships are built from many small things added one on top of the other.     2    . Instead of focusing on mistakes your partner makes, focus on the ways your partner adds to your life. When you notice something, speak out and show your appreciation.

    3    . It’s easy to change from face-to-face time together to digital communication. Spending quality time together can help strengthen your relationship and increase the bond you and your partner feel together.     4    . It can be as simple as enjoying a cup of coffee together each morning or reading together at night.

Expect changes. Know that your relationship will likely change. Allow growth for yourself, your partner, and for the relationship itself.     5    . Change is inevitable, so welcome changes and accept that the relationship will adapt.

A．Spend quality time together

B．Make a healthy relationship work

C．Relationships can be fun and exciting early on

D．Your partner’s thoughts and feelings have value

E．Find activities that you can do together regularly

F．Find the things your partner does for you and say “thank you”

G．Recognize changes in your relationship are opportunities for new growth

10 . Have you ever wondered why different people react differently to the things you say and do? Maybe you told your parents a story that made them laugh, but found that the same story was upsetting to the kids at school. What caused them to react so differently?     1    

Boundaries are the cut-off point between what a person finds funny and charming, and what they find hurtful and inappropriate.     2     You may not always share a person’s boundaries, but it’s still important to respect them.

    3     That’s why it’s especially important to be a good listener when you’re first getting to know someone. Listening will help you get a feel for the topics they are comfortable discussing.     4     If they become withdrawn when you bring up a certain topic, or they try to change subjects, you may be making them uncomfortable. Then it is better to pull back in the conversation, and let them take the lead for a while.

While many people won’t tell you directly that you’ve made them uncomfortable, some people will.     5     In that case, it’s always best to apologize and correct the offensive behavior. Failing to take a step back can create a lot of discomfort for the people around you. Most people can forgive a one-time slip, but you should avoid making the same mistake repeatedly, which can damage a friendship.

A．You aren’t sure of a person’s boundaries.

B．Different people have different boundaries.

C．The gateway to a healthy relationship is boundaries.

D．They may tell you that you’re standing too close to them.

E．Pay attention to the way they react to your ideas and jokes.

F．A person tends to tell you directly if you’ve made a mistake.

G．The answer has something to do with a tricky concept called boundaries.