1 . How To Stop Bein g A People Pleaser

As a recovering people pleaser, I spent much of my life keeping others happy. Breaking this habit meant stepping on a few toes. However, I’ve become a happier person as a result. Here are some tips I used to stop being a people pleaser.

Identify your priorities. Take a moment to think about why you are trying to learn how to stop being a people pleaser.     1     Why do you feel the need to keep them happy? Answering these questions will help you set a goal that you can hold yourself accountable to.

Just say “no”. One reason why people pleasers say “yes” to everything is that they fear disappointing others.     2     If you are a people pleaser, you are likely to spend lots of energy trying to control how people feel about you. The best thing you can do is let them feel their feelings. It will feel liberating to free yourself from being responsible for someone else’s reaction.

    3     Saying “no” is a good way to set better boundaries in your important relationships. All healthy relationships have their own boundaries. If you haven’t set boundaries in your relationships, the odds are that at some point you will end up feeling pressured to do something you don’t want to do.

Accept yourself. Many people pleasers are insecure about who they are.     4     Check out our summary of Brené Brown’s the Gifts of Imperfection to learn how to accept your imperfections and love yourself.

Remember that you cannot please everyone. No matter what you do there will always be someone who is unhappy with your choices.     5    

2 . Taking the chance to ask questions is more important than someone else answering them. Every day holds countless opportunities to better connect with the world around you through the questions you ask.     1    . Below are a few strategies that will help you think about how to ask more questions and come up with good questions to ask.

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The questions you ask about yourself help you better understand the unique person you are. The better you understand yourself, the more you can build your life around the things you want and need, and set yourself up for future success. Get to know yourself better by asking yourself simple interview questions about these and other qualities. When you understand yourself well, the things you do make more sense.     3    . It’s also a lot easier to plan ahead and have a much higher chance of succeeding in everything that makes life feel so hard.

●Use What You Know to Discover What You Don’t

A question is little more than a bridge between what you currently know and what you don’t yet know. To mark out a question, you need to draw from things you already know and highlight any gaps you are trying to fill. Taking advantage of existing knowledge to further your learning is a powerful tool. The more knowledge and curiosity you can bring into your exploration of life, the more possibilities you create for yourself.    4    .

●Practice Active Listening

People want to be heard and appreciated. Everyone wants to feel that their existence is recognized and valued by others. It turns out to be remarkably easy to give this gift to people by asking them great questions. Next time you’re at a happy hour or fancy party, try this. Pick someone to talk to, and give them your full attention.     5    . You can see the change in someone’s behavior as they open up about a topic they care about. This strategy is also a quick way to learn that everyone you meet has something new to teach you.

3 . If you just want to come up with a fun idea that will generate enthusiasm for your community group, we have five worthy suggestions.

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Getting all your neighbors together for an afternoon or an evening on weekends can help you develop more than a nodding acquaintance with them. This is a bit simple, but things like picking a location, sending out invitations and arranging for food follow pretty organically once you start setting up strategy.

●Hold a hobby show

    2    , from face painting to woodcarving, and most are willing to share their works. From conducting a cooking contest in the public kitchen to putting on a dance show, there are hundreds of ways that you can make your neighbors show their hobbies.

●Host a nature walk

Hosting a nature walk around a neighborhood park is a good way to educate the community about green practices and conservation.    3    . In this activity neighbors actively join in the identification of the trees, birds, insects, and other wildlife you share space with.

●Hold a pumpkin painting contest

In fall, pumpkin carving is a big contest. This year, instead of slicing those orange globes into scary shapes, hold a kid-focused pumpkin decorating day.    4    . For the grownups, prepare a couple of face painting booths and let a professional to help.

●Have a treasure hunt

A treasure hunt gets people thinking creatively and actively engaged in the hunt. We really love this idea because it can be an indoor or outdoor activity, so it’s a year-round option. All you need is some gifts, a hiding place and mysterious clues. You just place a flag where the treasure should be.    5    .

4 . Four Qualities That Make You Attractive to Others

There is something many people gets wrong about attraction.     1     The reality is that attraction usually has more to do with personality characteristics than appearance. What follows are four qualities that can make you highly attractive to others.

Have control over your emotions(情绪). It’s not easy to always have control over your emotions. And people who do are extremely attractive. Have control over your emotions so that your emotions don’t control you. Allow yourself to think about what you’re going to say.     2    

Laugh at yourself. It’s not what happens to us that makes us feel stressed.     3     Every time you laugh at yourself, you decide to minimize something that could affect you negatively. Laughing at yourself is an attractive quality, as it means you don’t take yourself too seriously.

    4     When you show your warmth, people see you as respectful and friendly. Also, they see you as someone approachable. A warm person says hello to and cares about you after your long and tough day. This quality is important for you to build meaningful relationships.

Give plenty of space. The secret to long-lasting relationships is space, because time apart helps each partner recharge and bring positive energy into the relationship.     5     They don’t let others breathe. Instead, those who let others have their space when they need it are extremely attractive.

5 . There are many people out there who want to be “part of the crowd.” If you want to be the leader and stand out from the crowd instead, then this article is for you.

Be yourself and love yourself. In order to be as different as possible, you have to beyou — not a carbon copy of someone else. If you don’t know who you are, that process can seem a bit scary.    1    If you’re not comfortable with who you are, you’ll inevitably end up trying to be someone else.

Try new things. We are naturally raised as part of a group,    2    These thing are good — they can open us up to things we’re not even aware of—but it’s also important to try things that are brand new to you that other people haven’t already accepted.

    3    From a very young age, we’re sort of brainwashed to ft into our society. We wear clothes, go to school, do things to match our gender, and so on. It’s hard to realize that this is a box you can get out of. There are lines that you can color outside. It just hasn’t occurred to most of us.

Know the world works in opposites. Nothing is really as it seems. So many people are trying to be different, and it results in them all being the same! Being quiet may mean that when you talk, people hear you louder. When you’re not trying to attract that boy or girl, they become attracted to you.    4    

Know you’ll bump heads. Society isn’t super good at accepting what isn’t trendy. People are praised for being fashionable and pretty—few are praised for expanding our limits and coloring outside the lines.    5    Think of it as a good thing! By getting criticism, you’re doing something. You’re getting noticed. You’re exposing people to other things. You’re different.

6 . All of us have co-workers who have trouble being kind. They can be _________ to deal with and can make work a nightmare. But do we know why they are like this? Do we know the _________ behind their actions?

I have a co-worker who has done all she can to make it hard for those _________ around her. We had a particularly hard week and there was a sales _________ of our products because we were in the low season. What’s worse, our sale promotion plan was _________. So she was taking it out on the rest of us. At the _________, I was mad and hurt and was letting her bring me down. Then I stopped and _________ myself. Do I know why she is _________ this way? Do I know what goes on behind closed doors or why she does the things she does?

I _________ my mother once told me that the best way to feel better when you were treated badly is to be kind towards others — especially the one who ____________ you. When she went on a lunch break, I went to the shops and ____________ her a box of chocolates and put an anonymous note with some ____________ words on top along with a smile card.

After she came back from lunch, she opened her ____________ and read the card. She looked around and re-read it again. She then ____________ placed it in her drawer. What made me more ____________ is that she was very calm for the rest of the day and that I often saw her look into her drawer as if to fed ____________ that someone cares.

At the end of the day, I went and said ____________ to her and noticed that the smile card had been ____________ on her noticeboard. She suddenly stood up and ____________ for what she had done. But I just smiled, wished her a ____________ night, and walked away.

Not long ago， I was on a flight when the fellow in front of me moved his seat backward suddenly.

He didn't look and didn't think，either. And he     1    （knock） my wine all over the seat and me. I wasn't on my best behavior when I gave his seat    2     （kick） and shouted，"Pay attention. You're not the only one on this flight." To his credit，he apologized repeatedly. If I    3    （give）a do﹣over， I would have tapped him    4    the shoulder and said nicely，"You    5    （probable） don't realize it， but you knocked over my wineglass when you reclined（往后靠）. Could you move your seat forward？"

Pay attention!     6    you recline， take notice of who's behind you. Is it someone with an     7    （injure） or who is really tall or perhaps overweight？ Is it a parent with    8     lap baby？If so， don't recline. And don't recline during meals. If the extra inch or two you get by reclining is really worth     9     （bother）the person behind you， at least give fair warning that you're about     10    （knock） over his drink.