1 . How to Deal with Nosy People
They can come in the form of friends, relatives or strangers. The thing about nosy people is that they don’t understand personal space. Things can get confusing when your family members or friends become nosy. You don’t want to hurt them, but you may not want to share everything, either.
Respond. Do not react.
When someone starts asking personal questions one after the other, you might get confused as to why he or she is asking all those questions and what you should do. This confusion can then turn into discomfort. When you are in this situation, remind yourself to slow down.
Answer them reasonably without revealing too much.
One great strategy is to give a satisfactory answer without giving away too many details. You will satisfy their curiosity and maintain your personal boundaries at the same time.
Sometimes, you just don’t feel like answering the other person’s questions. It could be because they have no business knowing the details or because the question annoys you. So, if someone asks you a personal question, you could politely decline to answer.
Show a lack of enthusiasm.
A.Give detailed answers. |
B.Politely decline to answer. |
C.There is no need to feel rushed at all! |
D.Your body language tells a lot about you. |
E.Here are tips on how you can deal with nosy people. |
F.Use this strategy when the other person is a loved one. |
G.It shows them you are not interested in the conversation. |
2 . Have you ever been in mid-conversation with someone, when you look over and find them standing in the same position as you or holding the same facial expression? It may seem like they have consciously copied you, but it is much more likely that it is the chameleon (变色龙) effect at play.
The chameleon effect is the unconscious imitation of another person’s gestures or behavior. Just as a chameleon attempts to match any environment’s colors, people acquire the behavior of others to bring them closer together and help make their interactions smooth.
The chameleon effect was confirmed in an experiment by psychologists John Bargh and Tanya Chartrand in 1999. The part of their experiment included 78 people, who each spoke with an experimenter. During the test, Bargh and Chartrand studied whether participants would copy the actions of someone they hadn’t met before, like moving the foot and touching the face. The second part measured the impact that copying someone has on the person being imitated.
In the first stage, participants increased their face touching by 20% and their foot movement by 50% while in conversation about a photograph with the experimenter. The individuals weren’t aware of what they were being studied for, and the photograph was used to catch their attention to insure unconscious acts. The second stage involved half of the participants being copied, and then rating the likability of the experimenter. The results, showed that those who were imitated scored the experimenter higher. It has shown that when someone copies our behavior, we develop more positive feelings about them. These interactions could be a person unconsciously willing to be liked, and forming a moment of connection.
The main reasons behind humans’ imitation are positive. However, when people carry this chameleon effect to the extreme, they can lose their sense of self. Those who change their entire personalities in different groups often go undetected. But more common signs of the chameleon effect are easier to notice. Next time you are in a social gathering, take a look around and you might just see some chameleons for yourself.
1. Why do people imitate others’ behavior?A.To show admiration for others. | B.To adapt to the surroundings. |
C.To establish a connection with others. | D.To attract others’ attention. |
A.By directing their attention to a photo. | B.By keeping an eye on their actions. |
C.By telling them the purpose of the study. | D.By evaluating the impacts of imitation. |
A.People tend to like those who imitate their behavior. |
B.Too much of the chameleon effect can be beneficial. |
C.People imitating others are not easy to be detected. |
D.The copied movements help people to feel relaxed. |
A.Students adopt teachers’ accents for fun after class. |
B.People change their habits to please others on purpose. |
C.A comedian copies a celebrity vividly on stage. |
D.A husband and his wife share similar behaviors over time. |
3 . The other day, my sister and I were sitting in a restaurant, trying to have a conversation, but her children, four-year-old Willow and seven-year-old Luca, would not stop fighting. The arguments-over a fork, or who had more water in a glass-never stopped.
Then my sister reached into her handbag, produced two shiny iPads, and handed one to each child. Suddenly, the two were quiet. They sat playing games and watching videos, and we continued with our conversation.
After our meal, as my sister stuffed the iPads back into her bag, she said, “I don’t want to give them the iPads at the dinner table, but if they keep them occupied for an hour so we can eat in peace, I often just hand them over. I’m afraid it’s bad for them. I do worry that it makes them think it’s OK to use electronics at the dinner table in the future.”
Dr. Gary Small, director of the Longevity Center at the University of California, Los Angeles says that the brain is highly sensitive to stimuli (刺激物), like iPads and smartphone screens, and if people spend too much time on one technology, and less time interacting with people like parents at the dinner table, that could prevent the development of certain communication skills.
“Conversations with each other are the way children learn to have conversations with themselves, and learn how to be alone,” said Sherry Turkle, a professor of science, technology and society at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. She fears that children who do not learn real interactions, which often have imperfections, will come to know a world where perfect, shiny screens give them a false sense of intimacy (亲密) without risk. However, they need to be able to gather themselves and know who they are. So someday they can form a relationship with another person without a panic of being alone. “If you don’t teach your children to be alone, they’ll only know how to be lonely,” she said.
1. What did Willow and Luca fight about?A.iPads. | B.Little things. |
C.Delicious food. | D.Interesting things. |
A.Provide their children with various technologies. |
B.Teach their children communication skills. |
C.Talk to their children at the dinner table. |
D.Limit their children’s screen time. |
A.Children are afraid of taking risks. |
B.Children try to escape from the real world. |
C.Children can’t live without electronic devices. |
D.Children can’t deal with companion-less situations. |
A.To tell a true story. | B.To discuss a phenomenon. |
C.To give practical suggestions. | D.To compare different opinions. |
4 . Social Masking
Amanda is always an expert at working the room. She would adopt the manner of the people around her to fit in while hiding her true personality. This is social masking, the process of hiding your natural way of interacting with others so you can feel accepted.
In a world that often tells us to just be ourselves, you might wonder why we are still dependent on these social masking behaviors. “Social masking happens because we as a species want to be included,” says Tara. “It has been a tribal thing of being together rather than being on our own, from a historical perspective.
There is a huge difference between naturally identifying with someone and consciously social masking.
A.Social maskers do not try hard to match other people in pace and tone. |
B.Social masking is something we all engage in to some extent. |
C.Social maskers are not trying to fox anyone. |
D.When we are in natural identification with someone, it happens naturally, and there is very little effort involved. |
E.It’s adopted by people unable to naturally act in a way considered socially acceptable. |
F.That is, it’s an ancient part of our evolution to socialize, rather than be anti-social or a misfit. |
5 . Acceptance, love, and respect are valued by all.
According to Forbes, love, belonging, and social connection are an important part of psychologist Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy (等级) of needs. A sense of belonging comes right after Maslow’s basic physiological and safety needs are met. This type of social connection is found in a group.
It’s also essential to be genuine when joining a group. Being genuine signals openness and can help in building trust with others. Being open also brings out empathy, which can lead to a feeling of belonging.
Another tip is to embrace a group that shares a common purpose.
Connection brings meaning to one’s life. Those who belong to a group feel like they are contributing to something larger and more important than themselves.
A.If there is no such group, form one. |
B.The key to belonging is via membership. |
C.Creating these positive feelings is easier than one thinks. |
D.These memberships can help people manage stress better. |
E.Improving one’s sense of connection requires making an effort. |
F.It can be large like religious organizations or social media groups. |
G.So join a group or two to cultivate that amazing sense of belonging. |
6 . What do you do when you receive an invitation to an event that you do not want to attend or that you cannot attend due to your busy schedule? In that case, we simply can’t act on everything our heart feels.
Respond in a timely manner.
It’s OK to say you’re sorry that you can’t make an event, but it’s better to redefine it as a positive. Rather than apologizing, say how happy you are that they invited you and that while you can’t make it this time, you look forward to getting together with them in the future.
Don’t say “maybe”.
Procrastinating (拖延) by saying “maybe” usually means it’s a no.
Don’t try to control the other person’s feelings.
There’s the assumption that we can decline without hurting anyone else’s feelings, but we can’t ensure the other person’s experience. They may feel sad or disappointed when you decline,. but that’s OK.
A.Focus on the positive. |
B.Be honest but not too honest. |
C.Don’t leave the host hanging. |
D.It’s fine to decline via digital means. |
E.Most people will understand that life just gets busy. |
F.So just go ahead and say no if that’s really what you mean. |
G.Instead, we should learn how to politely say “no” to an invitation. |
7 . Feel exhausted after a party? Rather see one close friend than a group of acquaintances? Enjoy your own company? In our world, that makes you an introvert (内向的人). However, there’s another possible explanation — vertical attachment. If you are closer to your parents and family members than to your peers, you are vertically attached, which means you rely more on family for comfort.
If you are closer to your peers, then you are peer attached. We live in a peer-oriented world. We believe that having lots of friends means that we are well-adjusted. We put our kids in playgroups and daycare for peer interaction. We expect teenagers to want to hang out with their friends, thinking it is the natural way of things.
Result? Generations often feel worlds apart. We use different language, dress, and technology apps. Even if multiple generations are invited to the same party, the kids go to the basement playroom while the parents stay upstairs.
Vertically-attached individuals can feel out of place in this context, demonstrating the traces of introversion. Will they be exhausted after a party with same-aged acquaintances? Absolutely. Would they rather spend time with one close friend? Sure. Do they enjoy alone time? Yes, more than they enjoy time fitting in with peers.
It’s normal that many people need alone time to recharge. However, vertically-attached people often label themselves as introverted. They feel insecure that others have more friends and live richer lives. They claim that their family attachments arise from their loved ones being stuck with them.
If you feel these insecurities, know that there is nothing wrong with you, and you are not missing out on anything. Your attachment style is just different from the culture where you live. Have confidence in the strength of the relationships you have, whether it is with a mom who feels more like a best friend, or a grandmother with whom you can share anything. They are meaningful, enriching relationships, even if they look different from the cultural norm.
1. Who is vertically attached according to the text?A.Mike, who feels at ease with his teachers. |
B.Maggie, who enjoys film time alone at weekends. |
C.Tom, who feels burnt out after a family get-together. |
D.Lisa, who often turns to her dad when things are hard. |
A.Younger generations should be self-disciplined. |
B.Being sociable is a desired quality for their children. |
C.Their children need more friends than they themselves do. |
D.Different generations should have different circles of acquaintances. |
A.Be that as it may, just leave it as it is. |
B.Never underestimate your inner power. |
C.Hang out more with friends and adjust to it. |
D.Treat others the way you want to be treated. |
A.Biased. | B.Objective. | C.Unconcerned. | D.Critical. |
8 . Boundaries are personal guidelines that define what is and isn’t okay in your interpersonal relationships. As everyone has different needs and comfort levels, they may appear different for each person. Having healthy boundaries may provide such benefits as avoiding burnout, boosting self-esteem and maintaining personal space.
Once you have identified your boundaries, it is important to communicate them effectively.
When learning how to set healthy boundaries, it is essential to learn how to say “no”. Saying “yes” to everything can lead to stress, burnout, and frustration. It is important to understand what you consider acceptable and unacceptable, setting limits that reflect those standards.
A.Honesty and respect play an essential key role in the process. |
B.Initially, you are supposed to identify your personal boundaries. |
C.When you feel that someone has crossed your boundaries, remind them. |
D.Therefore, setting healthy boundaries is of vital importance in social activities. |
E.Keep saying “no” to things you disapprove of helps to understand yourself better. |
F.This contributes to finding possible solutions to issues regarding boundary-setting. |
G.Pick up the conversation unless there appears another argument needed to be settled. |
9 . Kindness May Keep You Healthy
If you are driving in the United States, you may see a common bumper (汽车保险杠) sticker on passing vehicles that reads:
However, being kind is not just emotionally beneficial. Lyubomirsky studied a group of people with the disease Multiple Sclerosis (多发性硬化).
“The basic reason why people are kind,” Oliver Curry, explained, the research director at Kind-lab that is a non-profit organization, “is that we are social animals. Kindness is as much a part of us as our anger, grief or desire.”
A.Perform random acts of kindness |
B.Acts of kindness are very powerful |
C.In other words, we are designed to be kind. |
D.She found that they felt better physically when helping others. |
E.Research shows that doing kind things can make us feel better |
F.He found that being kind makes people feel better emotionally, |
G.Other research has shown that many people prize kindness above other values |
10 . Go on a 15-minute Tour
Didn’t someone say that life is about the journey, not the destination?
To commit some time to the journey, take some time to walk around where you work and notice your surroundings.
After your first observation tour, select a different day to tour your workspace for moods. Other people’s moods can provide you with critical clues about how things are going.
Schedule 15 minutes to tour your workplace twice a week for a month and be sure to avoid making too many assumptions or conclusions — just simply observe.
A.You’ll be amazed at what you see along the way. |
B.Spare a little time to closely monitor each person’s progress. |
C.Notice what people may be feeling when you drop by to talk briefly. |
D.During any workday, take just 15 minutes to observe neglected things. |
E.You generally love the breathtaking landscape and people’s performances. |
F.Going on a short tour will help you get in tune with other people and their emotions. |
G.To become socially aware, remember to enjoy the journey and notice people along the way. |