2 . One way to prevent anxiety from getting out of control is to recognise its benefits. It is a mistake to think that we’d make better decisions if only we keep our feelings under control. Instead, a mix of feelings like anxiety and logical thinking leads to sound decision-making. It’s true that there is plenty of research showing that higher levels of anxiety can make us more likely to avoid risks in our decision-making. There is also evidence that anxiety can increase the attention you pay to relevant information.

Recent studies have shown that people who are anxious about their relationships (for example,   they fear to be abandoned) tend to be better at recognising people who tell lies and are more likely to raise the alarm when danger is present.

In the real world though, it’s worth realising that feeling anxious once in a while is extremely common. It communicates to others that you care, and what’s more, it’s probably a sign that you are intelligent. At least two published studies have identified that people who score higher on measures of anxiety also tend to perform better on intelligence tests. This seems reasonable: if you’re a thinker, you are sure to be always thinking about the future and imagine possible plots, including bad ones.

The important thing, if you are a worrywart (杞人忧天者), is not to let your fear destroy your dreams. And don’t bury your head in the sand. Instead, act on your fears—do the research as well as preparation, so rather than walking blindly into that which you fear, you meet the challenge in full readiness.   

When anxiety beats you, or casts a shadow over your life, this is a serious problem. No one is denying that. But like everyday anxiety of this kind that you feel before a presentation or an interview,   you needn’t see it as your enemy. Anxiety is an important feeling, developed through evolution. As for people who are fairly anxious by nature, there is reason for cheer, too. Your nerves are a sign of your watchfulness. Listen to them and act on them. Then you can turn your nervousness into your advantage.

5 . One recent night， while I was leafing through its pages of an old journal， my eyes met a quote by the British writer Graham Greene that I had marked， “A prejudice had something in common with an ideal.”In other words， ideals—general descriptions of people's expectations of themselves and others—can often lead us to unreasonable ideas.It got me thinking about how we often allow ourselves to generalize about groups of people.We like to stereotype people by the color of their skin， the year of their birth or any other related factors.

I grew up in a multi-racial corner of America.The different groups were often subject to narrow stereotypes：Jewish people were“greedy”， Mexicans were“poorly educated”， and Asians were“good at math”.These labels were taught to us from a young age.They wormed their way into our belief systems， harming how we came to see others.It made me sad growing up to see people repeat these stereotypes as if they were true.The rush-to judgment of people breeds a culture of discrimination.

You can also see these over-generalized descriptions being made against today's Chinese people.Whether it be a lack of interest or worry among mile millennial being described as “monkish”， or“dad-fashion”which has given the“greasy middle-aged men”tag.stereotypes always seem to gain a foothold in the consciousness of our society.But these generalizations do real harm as these myths may become part of the wider population.

It's about time that we， as a society， walked away from generalizations and stereotypes.I leave you with the words of Martin Luther King Jr.from his famous“I Have a Dream”speech：“T look to a day when people will not be judged by the color of their skin， but by the content of their character.”By reserving judgment and really getting to know the individual you might just find your irrational ideas have no foundation.

6 . It was the 2015 “super storm” in New South Wales that restored my faith in people.

During a break in the weather, I stupidly decided to drive into town to buy some groceries. However, as I left the supermarket and drove back, the weather took a turn for the worse.     1     Having nowhere to go, I spotted a young man in his front yard assessing the situation. He quickly waved to me to come and park in his driveway.    2    .

The man, who introduced himself as Trent, then invited me to wait inside his house with his wife, Kayti and their two daughters. I told him I was concerned about the damage to my car, as the continuing rain was starting to turn into hail (冰雹).Trent then grabbed a blanket from his garage and covered my car.     3     Fortunately, his efforts saved my car from being damaged by the hail.

By 11:00 a.m., the electricity and phone services had both gone.     4     Trent made me a cup of tea and Kayti gave me a towel to dry myself off. The three of us chatted while waiting for the weather to get better. I learned that Trent had lost his job and was struggling to feed the family.

When the hail stopped, I shook Trent’s hand and kissed Kayti goodbye.     5     I was very moved by their kindness and it renewed my faith in people.

As I went out the door, I asked Trent for two of his business cards. My father has since called to offer him a job as a clerk at his company.

7 . We’ve all been there: in a lift, in line at the bank or on an airplane, surrounded by people who are, like us, deeply focused on their smartphones or, worse, struggling with the uncomfortable silence.

What’s the problem? It’s possible that we all have compromised conversational intelligence. It’s more likely that none of us start a conversation because it’s awkward and challenging, or we think it’s annoying and unnecessary. But the next time you find yourself among strangers, consider that small talk is worth the trouble. Experts say it’s an invaluable social practice that results in big benefits.

Dismissing small talk as unimportant is easy, but we can’t forget that deep relationships wouldn’t

even exist if it weren’t for casual conversation. Small talk is the grease(润滑剂) for social communication, says Bernardo Carducci, director of the Shyness Research Institute at Indiana University Southeast. ＂Almost every great love story and each big business deal begins with small talk,＂ he explains. ＂The key to successful small talk is learning how to connect with others, not just communicate with them.＂

In a 2014 study, Elizabeth Dunn, associate professor of psychology at UBC, invited people on their way into a coffee shop. One group was asked to seek out an interaction(互动) with its waiter; the other, to speak only when necessary. The results showed that those who chatted with their server reported significantly higher positive feelings and a better coffee shop experience. ＂It’s not that talking to the waiter is better than talking to your husband,＂ says Dunn. ＂But interactions with peripheral(边缘的) members of our social network matter for our well-being also.＂

Dunn believes that people who reach out to strangers feel a significantly greater sense of belonging, a bond with others. Carducci believes developing such a sense of belonging starts with small talk. ＂Small talk is the basis of good manners,＂ he says.