Building a Lasting Social Relationship
We all know that friends are special people who we share our lives with, and who share their lives with us in return.
According to research recently published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, the key is to use “we-talk”.
Led by University of California psychologist Megan Robins and her colleagues, the researchers reviewed and analyzed 30 different studies involving over 5,000 participants.
The word “we” moves people from an individual position into a partnership, which makes us more interdependent. “
Contrary to “we-talk”, there is “I-talk”, which refers to the frequent use of the first-person singular pronouns, such as “I”, “me” and “mine”, when writing or speaking. Earlier this year, researcher analyzed a set of data that came from 47,000 people in Germany and the US.
So next time you are talking to a friend, try using more “we-talk”. You may find yourself feeling more positive — and the effect it will have on your friend will be positive as well.
| A．Pronouns offer an insight into whether people see themselves as individuals or as part of a whole. |
| B．If you are speaking in a person context, you’re speaking about something that’s of relevance to you. |
| C．Their research also found that “we-talk” is helpful for resolving conflicts. |
| D．Self-centered people are found to be indifferent to many things in society and other people because all their concentration is only on themselves and their needs. |
| E．This analysis of “we-talk” suggested that the frequent use of “we” and “us” is linked to happier and healthier relationships. |
| F．They found that too much “I-talk” was an accurate linguistic marker for the likelihood that someone is feeling stressed or experiencing negative emotions. |
| G．But seeking friends and keeping the friendship going are never easy. |
相似题推荐
【推荐1】Why You Won’t Apologize
In our relationships with others, it’s inevitable that we’ll hurt people from time to time, even though, in some cases, we don’t mean to.
An apology is an attempt to repair the damage we’ve done to a relationship. To do this，we need to imagine ourselves to be in the victim’s position and to show empathy (共情) for the pain we have caused the victim. Some researches have indicated that people with the personality of narcissism (自恋) generally see no need to apologize when they have wronged another person.
We all want to believe we’re essentially good people. Accepting the fact that we’ve hurt someone we care about conflicts with our precious self-image. People who believe that personality is fixed are especially easily affected by the idea that an act of apology is a threat to their self-image. If personal characteristics stay the same, then, of course, hurting someone they care about is inconsistent (不一致) with their self-image as an essentially good person. In reality, of course, even good people sometimes do bad things.
Sometimes people don’t apologize because they don’t believe it will do any good. This could come from the belief that some mistakes are unforgivable.
| A．However, it’s quite difficult to make a sincere apology. |
| B．The challenge then is finding a way to make things right again. |
| C．There may also be unrealistic expectations about the process of forgiveness. |
| D．But even for most normal people, it can be extremely difficult to feel sorry for those who have been offended. |
| E．Understanding and accepting this fact of life can help ease our mind and thus help make an effective apology. |
| F．Although apologizing can be hard to do, it is, in fact, the most effective approach to mending a broken relationship. |
【推荐2】It may not be the best way to go about meeting new people, but chat rooms are still among the most popular channels. Want to chat with a stranger now?
Be fun and chat about something personal. This doesn’t mean giving away personal details, but you can share your life experiences and stories with strangers as long as you are both going with the flow. There is really no way you will manage to know the strangers better unless you both go beyond your hobbies.
Remain in control at all times. There is really no obligation on you to continue with chats that scare you or make you uncomfortable.
Try not to download things from strangers.
A. Chat rooms make it possible to share all manner of files
B. Avoid sharing your personal details with random strangers
C. So do not be afraid to get a little personal in your random chats
D. At night it’s not appropriate for teens to stay in chat rooms alone
E. Many files with viruses are often purposefully spread on the website
F. Then you should start by finding a chat room reflecting your interests
G. Remember you are chatting for fun and you should remain fully in control
【推荐3】I’d been asked to go to an editor's office with the old program “We have a story we think you'd be perfect for". Here was the topic: We want you to write about how middle-aged men have no friends. Seeing that, I couldn't help thinking, "Excuse me? I have plenty of friends," Then the editor told me there were all sorts of evidence out there to show how men, as they age, let their close friendships go, and that the fact can cause all sorts of problems and have a terrible impact on their health.
As I walked back to my desk in the newsroom — a distance of maybe 100 yards — I quickly took stock of my friend list. First of all, there was my friend Mark. Wait, how often do we actually hang out? Maybe four or five times a year? And then there was another best friend from high school, Rory, and...I actually could not remember the last time I'd seen him.
There were all those other good friends who seemed as if they're still in my life because we follow one another via social media, but as I ran down the list of those I considered real, true, lifelong friends, I realized that it had been years since I saw many of them, even decades for a few.
By the time I got back to my desk, I realized that I was indeed perfect for this story, not because I was unusual in any way, but because my story was very, very typical. And as I looked into what that means, I realized that in the long term, I was heading down a path that was very, very dangerous. And I knew I needed a change.
1. Seeing the topic, the author.| A．showed an interest in it. | B．felt surprised and doubtful. |
| C．knew the editor was joking. | D．thought it was perfect for him. |
| A．He had lost some best friends. |
| B．He wasn't popular with others. |
| C．He had close friends in his life. |
| D．He hadn't made any true friends. |
| A．By letters. |
| B．By the Internet. |
| C．By phoning to each other. |
| D．By having get-together with his friends regularly. |
| A．The author was a good writer. |
| B．The author liked making new friends. |
| C．Others had more friends than the author. |
| D．The author would attach importance to friendship. |
【推荐1】Learning other languages, you discover how to say the same thing in many different ways. In English we say “goodnight”. In Russia, people say “ΠoЗДpаΒЛеНИе”. In Vietnamese, people say “chúc ngú ngon”, which means “have a delicious sleep”. When I think about the word “delicious, I think of pizza, chocolate and ice-cream. I don't think about going to sleep. So depending on the language, different phrases will improve your creativity and force you to think about how to say things in a different way.
Studying a new language, you will notice that you have to learn a new sense of humor that comes along with the culture of that language. Sometimes jokes that work in English won't work in French or Japanese. But sometimes things that nobody would laugh at in English work in Vietnamese. I learned this when I performed the stand-up comedy in Vietnam. A lot of my non-Vietnamese speaking friends would ask me to translate the jokes for them, but when I translated it back into English, no one laughed.
When you learn a new language, you have to learn a lot of vocabulary, new grammar, idioms and much more besides. Doing this, you have to learn memory skills. These could be flash cards, using recall methods, or building a memory palace. Whatever tactic you use, it will strengthen your creativity.
Next time you meet someone who speaks several languages, before you think that they have something special going on in their brain, take a step back and think. Maybe they do. But maybe they've got that special thing because they've made the effort to learn several languages. An effort is something we all need.
1. Which has the closest meaning as “chúc ngú ngon” in English?| A．Have a good dream. |
| B．Have a nice day. |
| C．Enjoy delicious food. |
| D．See you next time. |
| A．The jokes were not funny in Vietnamese. |
| B．The author was not a humorous translator. |
| C．English is less humorous than Vietnamese. |
| D．The audience couldn't get the humor in English. |
| A．Strategy. | B．Information. |
| C．Guideline. | D．Expression. |
| A．Nature. | B．Education. |
| C．Travel. | D．Health. |
【推荐2】There are about 6,000 languages that are spoken around the world.
In addition, the languages of “dominant” cultures may drive other languages into extinction. To get a better education and job, young people have to focus their attention on learning dominant languages rather than their own languages. Dominant languages include English, French and Mandarin.
Once a language dies, it rarely comes back to life.
In September, 2018, the US state of Alaska announced that the loss of native languages was an “emergency”.
Some people argued that language loss, like the loss of some animal species, is simply a fact of life on earth.
| A．Languages become endangered for many reasons. |
| B．But what about the endangered languages? |
| C．However, all languages are a form of human heritage. |
| D．What can people do to preserve languages? |
| E．It is now working to give new life to such languages, Quartz reported. |
| F．Governments across the globe are taking action to prevent this. |
| G．But 43 percent of these languages are dying out, according to UNESCO. |
【推荐3】Languages have been coming and going for thousands of years, but in recent times there has been less coming and a lot more going. When the world was still populated by hunter-gatherers, small, tightly knit (联系)groups developed their own patterns of speech independent of each other. Some language experts believe that 10,000 years ago, when the world had just five to ten million people, they spoke perhaps 12,000 languages between them.
Soon afterwards, many of those people started settling down to become farmers, and their languages too became more settled and fewer in number. In recent centres, trade, industrialisation. the development of the nation-state and the spread of universal compulsory education. Especially globalization and better communications in the past few decades, all have caused many Languages to disappear, and dominant languages such as English. Spanish and Chinese are increasingly taking over.
At present, the world has about 6 800 languages. The distribution of these languages is hugely uneven. The general rule is that mild zones have relatively few languages. Often spoken by many people while hot. wet zones have lots, often spoken by small numbers. Europe has only around 200 Languages: the Americas about 1,000. Africa 2 400; and Asia and the Pacific perhaps 3,200, of which Papua New Guinea alone accounts for well over 800. The median number (中位数)of speakers is a mere 6.000, which means that half the worlds languages are spoken by fewer people than that.
Already well over 400 of the total of, 6,800 languages are close to extinction(消亡), with only a few elderly speakers left. Pick, at random, Busuu in Cameroon (eight remaining speakers),Chiapaneco in Mexico(150). Lipan Apache in the United States(two or three)or Wadjigu in Australia (one, with a question-mark): none of these seems to have much chance of survival.
1. What can we infer about languages in hunter-gatherer times?| A．They developed very fast. |
| B．They were large in number. |
| C．They had similar patters. |
| D．They were closely connected |
