【推荐3】A few years ago, I bought a flat. It was a triumph of hope and determination over property prices, and the peak of a 20-year dream. The day I got the keys should have been the most exciting day of my life and yet, the second I opened the door, panic set in. I spent my first night as a homeowner in a hotel researching how to sell a flat and wondering if it was too late to change my mind.

I didn't sell my flat because I remembered why I had wanted it in the first place — but there are times when we get what we want and it simply isn't right. I've always found a strange disconnect between wanting something and getting it. Wanting is a place of possibility and, in a state of lack, the desire is strong. We imagine how this thing — a new job or relationship — can change our lives and at the same time forget that adding something to our life doesn't mean all our problems disappear. We create a narrative around the desire and, when we get it, and it is different to how we pictured it, we feel frustrated.

For me, this most often occurs in relationships. I have a habit of filling in the gaps with people, rather than getting to know them. I go on a date with someone and, instead of piecing them together brick by brick, I start to imagine what my life would be like with them in it. It shouldn't have been a shock that the reality in no way matched my fantasy — but it was. I knew I wanted out, yet part of me felt committed: this was someone I thought I had wanted for so long, I couldn't walk away, could I?

We tend to shame others for changing their minds. I think, however, it's far braver to move towards something that will bring happiness than to stay in a miserable situation to protect your pride. So, when someone tells you they've changed their minds, congratulate them on knowing themselves well enough, and being strong enough, to admit it. It takes a lot to come clean about getting it wrong, but the relief of doing so — of setting ourselves free from a personal-shaped hole, is worth it every time.

【推荐1】Today, anxiety disorders are the most common mental health issues in the US, affecting 30% of adults. In 2021, a survey of 8,000 children led by Oxford University Press named anxiety as the Word of the Year. “It’s the word on everyone’s lip, the challenge of the moment,” Dr. Tracy Dennis Tiwary says, a professor of psychology, immersed in research — evaluating which mental health treatment worked and why.

The idea that anxiety is something to manage or eradicate, a habit to be broken, is wrong and actually doing us harm. It’s literally a recipe for more anxiety. This is central message in Dennis Tiwary’s new book, Future Tense. She concludes that the problem isn’t anxiety itself, but our belief about it and our attempts to avoid it, which are not only destined to fail, but make us weaker and more fragile. It’s a vicious cycle.

To help reframe anxiety as an ally not an enemy, Dennis takes a deep dive into the emotion itself. Anxiety is different to fear, which is the certainty that something bad is happening to you. Anxiety is about uncertainty; it’s the feeling that something bad could happen, but might not. Unlike fear, anxiety contains hope. Anxiety can focus the mind, drive you to revise harder, to see a doctor, to seek new pathways towards your chosen career.

Anxiety helps us forge forwards with creative solutions, but there are times when there is little we can do to address a future uncertainty. Dennis suggests many ways of coping with it. Connecting with friends and family is a soothing first step. Cultivating things that immerse you in the present moment is also helpful. Our emotional systems are like immune systems. If it isn’t exposed to germs, it remains weak. It’s only by feeling our anxiety, listening and acting on it that we cope better next time.

【推荐2】Paul Dirac was one of the greatest physicists of the 20th century. He was a pioneer in quantum(量子) theory, which shaped our modern world. Dirac was also a genius when it came to analytical thinking. But when his colleagues asked him for advice, his secret to success had nothing to do with the traditional scientific method. “Be guided,” Dirac told them, “by your emotions.”

Dirac’s advice, like his physics, ran against the common assumption of psychology in his day: that logical thought primarily drives our behaviors, and that when emotions play a role, they are likely to keep us off our best judgment.

Today, researchers have gained a deeper understanding of emotions and how they can positively influence logical choices. In a study led by Professor Mark Fenton, his team conducted interviews with 118 professional traders at four investment banks. They found that even among the most experienced traders, the lower-performing ones seemed less likely to effectively engage with the emotions guiding their choices—whether to buy or sell a set of securities, for example, with millions of dollars at risk. The most successful traders, however, were particularly likely to acknowledge their emotions and followed their direct feelings about stock options(股票期权) when they had limited information to draw on. They also understood that when emotions become too intense, toning them down can be necessary. The issue for the successful traders was not how to avoid emotions but how to control them.

Welcoming emotions into the decision-making process can help us be more clear-eyed about where our choices come from. Dirac knew that emotions helped him look beyond the beliefs of his contemporaries. Again and again, his controversial ideas proved correct. Dirac passed away in 1984, a couple of decades before the revolution in emotion theory began, but he’d been happy to see that he’d been right again.

【推荐3】For the past five years, I have worked in strategic roles in advertising. During my work, I challenged the difficulties in creating an ad that would be relevant to the brand, match its core values, and would also target appropriately consumers with a strong consumer insight. When I contribute to a successful campaign that matches all of the above, what I get is sheer bliss. In this sense, I love advertising.

Nevertheless, I am aware advertising has its gray areas. In many cases, advertisers focus on few features that can distinguish them from the competition, while presenting an incomplete picture of the product. For example, a snack brand can focus on the taste claim and ignore any clear reference to nutritional values and calories of the product. In other cases, advertisers claim superiority by using survey findings that do not agree with consumers’ common sense. Recently, a new Cola was introduced by a major Israeli company, claiming its Cola tastes better than the traditional Coca-Cola. Although such claim is possible, it is highly unlikely that a private-label Cola will be able to better suit the Israeli taste, since Coca-Cola dominates the Israeli Cola market for decades with over 90% market share. Yet, as a marketer, I understand we must be aggressive to put our products in consumers’ consideration set.

From a consumer’s standpoint, however, I have a contradictory attitude towards ads. I have some strong relationships with brands I encounter on a regular basis. I adore the design and innovation of Nespresso. I already replaced 4 iPhone models during the last decade and never bought a basketball shoe which is not a Nike shoe. When these brands advertise, I am open to hear about new products and watch ads. Consequently, I am willing to pay more or purchase more expensive products.

Meanwhile, getting used to certain brands makes me less willing to try new ones. When I experience a brand that does not meet my expectations as my usual choices do, I feel like I made a wrong decision. Moreover, the bad experience increases my skepticism towards new brands.

Overall, I admire the efforts made by us advertisers to increase sales. However, my true desire as a consumer is to minimize my exposure to irrelevant ads as much as possible.