【推荐2】Knowing how to get the conversation started is important, however, keeping it going is even more important. Here are some conversation skills that make people like you.

Invite people to share their lives

The most important conversation skill is to invite people to talk about their lives.     1     Show an interest in learning about a person’s history, family, ideas, or goals and it will likely get the conversation going right away.     2    

Ask open-ended (开放式的) questions

Open-ended questions require more than just a yes-or-no answer. Ask open-ended questions that encourage other people to start discussing a topic in detail.     3     These questions really encourage other people to offer information about their story and invite them to share their opinion.

Wait for your turn to talk

Whatever you do, don’t interrupt. Instead, wait patiently for your turn to talk. Interrupting is one of the quickest ways to shut down a conversation and make other people uncomfortable. Show that you value what others are saying.     4    

Request advice

Asking for advice shows that you value someone else’s opinion. Just because you ask for advice doesn’t mean you have to follow it.     5     Ask your co-worker if she likes your new jacket or ask a friend how you should handle a situation. Asking for advice can make others feel important.

【推荐3】The year going from middle school to high school can be especially difficult, as students are faced with new academic (学业的) and social challenges. Before the first day of high school, there are things every soon-to-be high school freshman and their families should know.

By the time students are on the way to high school, many of them start to believe the labels (标签) that are placed on them, such as “You’re smart” and “Maths isn’t your strong area”. People that have a fixed mindset (心态) believe that they are born to be great or weak. On the other hand, people that have a growth mindset believe that their greatness or weakness is because of their own actions. I totally agree that students should have a growth mindset. I don’t expect any student to move from just passing a subject to an A+. It’s going to take time and focused effort; just keep working on it.

Today, many students face greater stress compared to their parents and grandparents. Parents should prepare them to fight the battle on the pillow and in the kitchen. When I say, pillow, I mean sleep. Not having enough sleep can have some surprising effects on students, including improper behavior, anxiety (焦虑) and poor grades. The second weapon (武器) is eating healthy and balanced meals. Studies show that students who eat nutritious meals and who exercise 60 minutes a day remain more attentive during the school day and experience improved academic achievement and grades. This last “secret” weapon is not to have over-scheduled (安排过度) time. Make sure students know how to set realistic plans and how to say no to tasks and activities that aren’t important to them.

A lot of students know each other from primary and middle school. They are in their “comfort zones”, feeling they have a sense of control over and expectation of their relationships. But come the first real day of high school, that will all change. The reason I encourage high school freshmen to step out of their comfort zones, though often scary, is that comfort zones get boring and there are many kinds of people to get to know. Usually, the more a student accepts who they are and on the road to becoming, the easier it is for them to build new friendships. Therefore, let’s encourage them to get involved (参与), have fun and play.

【推荐3】Twitter humorist and TV writer Jonny Sun is the author of the 2017 best-seller everyone's a aliebn when ur a aliebn too. This time, he recommends some emotionally powerful books.

The Book of Delights by Ross Gay (2019)

Gay's collection of 102 short but emotional stories, begun in mid-2016 and written in the order of time over a year in America, focuses on the careful observation of ordinary delights in daily life. The writing is personal and grounded in thoughtful joy.

100 Essays I Don't Have Time to Write by Sarah Ruhl (2014)

Seemingly a collection of essays on theater, Ruhl's book feels instead like the playwright's thoughts all of life. Her writing here is deeply personal, sharply argued but also playful. The book is actually a detailed description of the artist herself.

They Can't Kill Us Until They Kill Us by Hanif Abdurraqib (2017)

I am always so moved by Abdurraqib's writing. He combines cultural criticism and personal memory in such a beautiful way, making the two styles naturally bound.

Space Struck by Paige Lewis (2019 )

This poetry collection awakened emotions in me that I did not know existed, or that I could feel, or that one could ever put words to. Every line is playful, honest, complex, and gentle.

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