【推荐1】How do we take part in dinner party in foreign countries ? Have you ever experienced it ? I hated dinner parties. But I decided to give them another shot because I'm in London. And my friend Mallery invited me. And because dinner parties in London are very different from those back in New York. There, "I'm having a dinner party" means: " I'm booking a table for 12 at a restaurant you can't afford and we'll be sharing the cheque evenly, no matter what you eat." Worse, in Manhattan, there is always someone who leaves before the bill arrives. They'll throw down cash, half of what they owe, and then people like me, who don't drink, end up paying even more. But if I try to use the same trick, the hostess will shout: "Where are you going?" And it's not like I can say I have somewhere to go: everyone knows I have nowhere to go.

But in London, dinner parties are in people's homes. Not only that, the guests are an interesting mix. The last time I went to one, the guests were from France, India, Denmark and Nigeria; it was like a gathering at the United Nations. In New York, the mix is less striking. It's like a gathering at Bloomingdale's a well-known department store.

For New Yorkers, talking about other parts of the world means Brooklyn and Queens in New York. But at Mallery's, when I said that I had been to Myanmar recently, people knew where it was. In New York, people would think it was a usual new club.

【推荐2】Resolving (解决) Conflict in Friendships

Conflict is surely a common problem in life and friendships.     1     That’s because there isn’t enough depth to guarantee all the trouble it takes to smooth over the disagreement. Unfortunately, even when the friendship reaches a deeper level, conflict continues to happen and can break apart a relationship. Here are some resolutions.

Resolve it the day it happens. One rule my parents follow in their marriage is that they don’t go to bed angry with each other. They always attempt to resolve things the day it happens so that in the morning, it’s a fresh start with no past grudge (怨恨). I’ve found I need a short cool down period so that I don’t act in anger. For some, counting to one hundred before saying anything may be an option.     2    

    3     Sometimes if you sit down and talk things over, you begin to see where the other person is coming from. Realize that everyone has been created differently with various talents, abilities, and personality traits. For example, you might be a leader while your friend is more of a follower. You may be frustrated with him or her for not being very decisive. Yet it is important to understand that each person is unique and needs to be appreciated.

Initiate resolution.     4     Even when you think the other person is wrong, it’s not a bad thing to say “I’m sorry if I offended you in that way.” If you’re honest and genuine in delivering your words, there’s a good chance your friend will respond positively.

Most importantly, be loving in what you do. Try to focus on peacefully resolving the disagreement. It is not a most pleasant task to resolve conflict in any friendship.     5    

【推荐3】One rainy evening, a student named Paula Ceely brought her car to a stop on a remote road in Wales. She got out to open a metal gate that blocked her path. That’s when she heard the whistle sounded by the driver of a train. Her Renault Clio was parked across a railway line. Seconds later, she watched the train drag her car almost a kilometre down the railway tracks.

Ceely’s near miss made the news because she blamed it on her GPS. She had never driven the route before. It was dark and raining heavily. Ceely was relying on her GPS, but it made no mention of the crossing. “I put my complete trust in the device and it led me right into the path of a speeding train,” she said.

Who is to blame here? Rick Stevenson, who tells Ceely’s story in his book When Machines Fail Us, points the finger at the limitations of technology. We put our faith in digital devices, he says, but our digital helpers are too often not up to the job. They are filled with small problems. And it’s not just GPS devices: Stevenson takes us on a tour of digital disasters involving everything from mobile phones to wireless keyboards.

The problem with his argument in the book is that it’s not clear why he only focuses on digital technology, while there may be a number of other possible causes. A map-maker might have left the crossing off a paper map. Maybe we should blame Ceely for not paying attention. Perhaps the railway authorities are at fault for poor signaling system. Or maybe someone has studied the relative dangers and worked out that there really is something specific wrong with the GPS equipment. But Stevenson doesn’t say.

It’s a problem that runs through the book. In a section on cars, Stevenson gives an account of the advanced techniques that criminals use to defeat computer-based locking systems for cars. He offers two independent sets of figures on car theft; both show a small rise in some parts of the country. He says that once again not all new locks have proved reliable. Perhaps, but maybe it’s also due to the shortage of policemen on the streets. Or changing social circumstances. Or some combination of these factors.

The game between humans and their smart devices is amusing and complex. It is shaped by economics and psychology and the cultures we live in. Somewhere in the mix of those forces there may be a way for a wiser use of technology.

If there is such a way, it should involve more than just an awareness of the shortcomings of our machines. After all, we have lived with them for thousands of years. They have probably been fooling us for just as long.