1 . Looking back, the memory of doctors, nurses and the conclusion of appendicitis (阑尾炎) was still clear. ______, nothing hurt more than three days with appendicitis. After a series of emergencies, I could merely lie ______ and beg my body to stop hurting.

All the ______ acquired from years of swimming was eaten away. Previously, I could swim miles daily. Now it was a(n) ______ to sit up and I couldn’t swim for almost three months.

When I finally returned to the pool, I struggled with my ______ ability. Race after race, I ______ my goals. Every time I ______ to enter the national competitions, I failed by a tiny amount.

Finally, I came to the last event that could ______ me for nationals. This was my last ______ : now or never. After so many failures, I couldn’t help being furious about recent events.

The race started, and I dived in, throwing the pain, ______ and anger I had experienced recently into the pool. My mind focused, self-limitation was ______ and I devoted all my attention and strength to my moves.

When I saw my time, a wave of ______ swept over me. I eventually ______ self-doubt and won what almost ______ from me. Nationals were waiting for me, and by no means would I let anything ______ my advancement.

4 . The American Psychological Association(APA) has issued its first advisory on social media use in adolescence (青春期). What’s most striking in its data based on recommendations is how little we really know about how these apps affect our kids.

The relative newness of platforms like Snapchat and Tik Tok means little research is available about their long-term effects on teen and tween brains. Getting better data will require significant funding—and much more openness from tech companies.

“What little evidence we do have unsurprisingly suggests that social media trades on motivators that aren’t great for young brains. Many kids’ first exposure to social media occurs at the worst possible time when it comes to brain development,” says Mitch Prinstein, a psychologist and neuroscientist at the University of North Carolina(UNC).

“Things like ‘button and artificial intelligence(in general)’ are going to affect young people’s brains in a way that’s very different from adult brains when it comes to the desire to stay online and to say or do almost anything to get followers.” When it comes to social interactions, he compares kids’ brains to a car with a huge gas pedal and weak brakes (刹车).

Earlier this year, Prinstein and his UNC colleagues published the results of one of the first studies of how the adolescent brain reacts to social media. The team surveyed a group of middle schoolers to understand their social media habits, and then stuck them in an MRI machine to watch their brains as they reacted to social rewards or punishments. They found that 12-year-olds who habitually checked social media had distinct neural patterns, with more activities over time in parts of the brain associated with motivation, salience(or where attention is focused) and cognitive control.

The team didn’t weigh in on whether those differences were good or bad, or whether the relationship was causal or correlational. But their work points to the need for more research. It should also remind parents of the need to be keenly aware of social media’s hidden influence on still-developing brains.

5 . Griffith was driving alone to the Bay Area on a work call Saturday morning, thinking he was having a heart attack. He was in ________. He was in the fast lane (车道) and he started to work his way over to the ________ lane. He drove his car at such a high speed that his car crashed off the exit ramp (匝道) and hit a big tree. All the while everything became ________ before his eyes.

A young man and woman ________. They left their car and ________ to Griffith’s car. They knew ________ what to do. They didn’t ________ Griffith from the car but instead left him where he was and got right to work, doing what they could.

“They kept_________ to keep me awake because I was not doing well,” recalled Griffith.

________ under pressure, they called the ambulance and took care of everything until professional _______ got there.

They found Griffith’s wallet and ID in the car and _______ them to the rescuers. They even _______ to find Griffith’s telephone list and _______ his family of what was happening in no time.

Griffith now knows a rare nerve impingement (神经压迫症) in his neck is what _______ him to black out. He left the hospital a week later. He said he was lucky to be alive, owing _______ to the helpful couple and other rescuers.

7 . The relationship between Jeffrey Pang and his son, Kevin Pang, was like hot-and-sour soup. It boiled over easily. The Pangs, who moved to the United States in 1988, wanted their son and daughter to know Chinese culture. As a video game-playing American teen, Kevin wasn’t interested.

But when Kevin became a food writer for the Chicago Tribune, he realized he had a valuable resource: his cook-laving dad. “My father and I shared, for the first time, a common interest. I would call to ask about recipes and cooking techniques. He would school me on the world of Chinese food,” Kevin writes in the introduction to the cookbook he has just published.

When it comes to cooking Chinese food, he points out that there is no one definition of Chinese food. “Chinese cooking is not hidebound. For example, consider baked pork chop rice, popularized in Hong Kong. It is a pork chop with egg-fried rice. And then you top it with this thick tomato sauce,” explains Kevin. “And then you top that with some cheese. It’s a very interesting combined dish that has some Western British influences, and it’s altogether very Chinese as well.”

By the time Kevin joined America’s Test Kitchen (ATK) staff in 2020 as its editorial director for digital content, his dad had become an Internet celebrity demonstrating the family’s recipes. Kevin recognized an opportunity not only to share his own family’s food stories but also to apply the ATK method of breaking down recipes into simple steps for the home cook.

“I think this cookbook can teach fathers and sons how to connect, how to find a common interest and improve their relationship, ” Kevin says. That feeling has found an enthusiastic fan base, generating nearly 3 million views, for their online cooking series “Hunger Pangs”, where viewers speak highly of their father-son bond as much as they do of their attractive dishes. Today the Pangs’ relationship is rarely sour or hot.

10 . Parenting roles evolve from the full control and safekeeping of a young baby to the delicate dance between independence and guidance in adolescence (青春期). Eventually, our children become adults, and if we are lucky, we will have lifelong friendships with them.

Play is a key element of friendship with children. With babies and very young children, we play with them, engaging in back-and-forth activities. They often start the game, and we join in. They pull us into play, and we love it. In the language of experts who research children from birth to 3 years old, we express delight in these interactions. But delight often hits a snag when our children learn how to say “no”. From this point onward — into adolescence — we focus on getting children to behave. We tend to be the parent, not the friend, often saying “because I said so”. Highlighting our role as taskmasters limits our parenting tools. If we can leave time and space for child-driven play and activities — without adult demands or expectations — we can return to delight. These friendly interactions expand our relationship with our children. It’s not the same as peer friendship, but we are being friends.

Beyond play, the other foundational component of parent friendship is the child-directed conversation. Maintaining a friendly, non-judgmental standpoint in conversation with your kids can provide you with a world of trust and engagement. Being quiet and not saying anything are undervalued parenting tools. Instead, we can keep our ears open for informal chatter and then listen with intention and presence. And it’s usually best if we don’t offer ad vice unless asked for it. Being curious and compassionate and listening deeply to their stories and worries build emotional bonds, maintain communication, and produce trust, which sounds like friendship.

In my experience as a child, a parent, and a child psychiatrist, I think we can be more than command-and-control. And I firmly believe that we can treat children with affection and respect, as companions.