2 . There have been countless books and television series on living with teenagers, yet parents don’t seem to have _________ how to get their children to pick up their clothes from the bedroom floor, or even clean their room occasionally. It might be difficult to accept, but a new approach to dealing with rude or difficult teenagers is for parents to look at their own _________.

“The key to getting teenagers to respect you is to respect them first,” says Penny Palmano, who has written a best-selling book on teenagers. “You can’t _________ to treat them the same way that you have been treating them for the previous 12 years: they have opinions that count. Imagine if you’d spent two hours getting ready to go out for the evening and someone said, ‘You’ve not going out looking like that, are you?’ You’d be very _________. You’d never say that to an adult, because it shows a total _________ of respect.”

Palmano, who has a daughter aged 19, has even allowed the girl to hold several teenage parties at her home. “I’ve found that if you have brought your kids up to do the right thing, and then _________ them to do it, usually they’ll behave well,” she says. “I make them sandwiches and leave them alone. But I make it clear that they have to clear up any mess. I’ve never had a(n) _________; in fact, the kitchen was sometimes cleaner than I’d left it.”

She agrees that teenagers can be annoying: enjoying a world that is free of responsibility, yet _________ for independence. She doesn’t think, however, that they are _________ to annoy you. Until recently, scientists assumed that the brain finished growing at about the age of 13 and that teenage problems were a result of rising hormones and a desire for independence. But it turns out that the region of the brain that controls judgement and emotions is not fully __________ until the early twenties.

“This would explain why many teenagers can’t make good decisions, control their emotions, priorities or concentrate on several different things at the same time. __________, they may find it difficult to make the right decision between watching television, ringing a friend, or finishing their homework. It means that they do not __________ do the wrong thing just to annoy their parents,” says Palmano.

The key to __________ for all, Palmano believes, is calm negotiation and compromise (妥协). If you want your teenagers to be home by 11 pm, explain why, but listen to their arguments as well. If it’s Saturday, you might __________ agreeing to midnight (rather than 1 am, which is what they had in mind). If they are up to 20 minutes late, don’t react angrily. __________, ask if they’ve had a problem with public transport and let it pass; they’ve almost managed what you asked.

3 . A few years ago, a young woman at Facebook came to my desk and asked if she could speak privately. We headed into a conference room, where she began firing off questions about how I balance work and family. As the questions came faster and faster, I started to wonder about her urgency. I interrupted to ask if she had a child. She said no, but she liked to plan ahead. I inquired if she and her partner were considering having a child. She replied that she did not have a husband, then added with a little laugh, “Actually, I don’t even have a boyfriend.”

It seemed to me that she was jumping the gun but I understood why. From an early age, girls get the message that they will have to choose between succeeding at work and being a good mother. By the time they are in college, women are already thinking about the trade-offs they will make between professional and personal goals! When asked to choose between marriage and career, female college students are twice as likely to choose marriage as their male classmates. And this concern can start even younger. Peggy Orenstein, the author of Cinderella Ate My Daughter, related the story of a five-year-old girl who came home distraught from her after-school program and told her mother that both she and the boy she had a crush on wanted to be astronauts.When her mother asked why that was a problem, the little girl replied, “When we go into space together,who will watch out kids?” At five,she thought the most challenging aspect of space travel would be dependable childcare.

As I’ve mentioned, I’m a big believe in thoughtful preparation. Everywhere I go, I carry a little notebook with my to-do list. But when it comes to integrating career and family, planning too far in advance can close doors rather than open them. I have seen this happen over and over. Women rarely make one big decision to leave the workforce. Instead, they make a lot of small decision along the way, making accommodations and sacrifices that they believe will be required to have a family. Of all the ways women hold themselves back, perhaps the most pervasive is that they leave before they leave.

9 . Is loyalty in the workplace dead?

Just recently, Lynda Gratton, a workplace expert, proclaimed that it was. In The Financial Times, she said that it had been “killed off through _________ contracts, outsourcing, automation and multiple careers.”

It’s sad if this good virtue is now out of place in the business world. But the situation may be more _________. Depending on how you _________ it, loyalty may not be dead, but is just playing out differently.

Fifty years ago, an employee could stay at the same company for decades, said Tammy Erickson, an author and work-force consultant. Many were _________ longtime employment along with health care and a pension.

Now many companies cannot or will not hold up their end of the bargain, so why should the employees hold up theirs? Given the opportunity, they’ll take their skills and their portable retirement accounts elsewhere. These days, Ms. Gratton writes, _________ is more important than loyalty: “Loyalty is about the future - trust is about the present.”

Ms. Erickson says that the quid pro quo (交换物，报酬) of modern employment is more likely to be: As long as I work for you, I promise to have the relevant skills and _________ fully in my work; in return you’ll pay me _________, but I don’t expect you to care for me when I’m 110.

For some baby boomers, this _________ has been hard to accept. Many started their careers _________ that they would be rewarded based on tenure (任职).

A longtime employee who is also productive and motivated is of enormous value, said Cathy Benko, chief talent officer at Deloitte. On the other hand, she said, “You can be with a company a long time and not be highly committed.”

Ms. Benko has seen her company shift its ____________ to employees’ level of engagement - or “the level at which people are motivated to deliver their best work” - rather than length of tenure.

Then there are the effects of the recent recession. Many people - if they haven’t been ____________- have stayed in jobs because they feel they have no choice. Employers may need to prepare for disruptions and turnover when the job market improves.

If the pendulum(摇摆不定的事态或局面) shifts, how will businesses persuade their best employees to stay? ____________ may do the trick, but not always. Especially with younger people, “you’re not going to buy extra loyalty with extra money,” Ms. Erickson said. ____________, employers need to make jobs more challenging and give workers more creative space, she said.

Loyalty may not be what it once was, but most companies will still be better off with at least a core of people who stay with them across decades.

If loyalty is seen as a ____________ to keep workers of all ages fulfilled, productive and involved, it can continue to be cultivated in the workplace - to the ____________ of both employer and employee.