4 . Parking at the Alzheimer’s center where my mother-in-law lived, we were ready to visit her. I glanced at my 11-year-old son, Joel, who was totally ________ in the photo album he had insisted on bringing along.

Joel has autism (自闭症), and although I had ________ him that his grandma couldn’t remember things the way she used to and might not be as interested in the ________ as he was, I couldn’t be sure if he completely understood my words.

“See Grandma!” he shouted at the top of his voice.________the album, he jumped out of the car and up to the building entrance. We finally got to grandma’s room. She was_______ with the door open. “Grandma Barb,” he said ________. “Pictures.” She awoke, and I saw ________ in her eyes. “Who is this little boy?” They seemed to ask. However, not_______, Joel climbed into her lap and opened up his photo album. A sign of a_____appeared on her face. He pointed to pictures of his father and me, identifying us. He __________ to his brother. “Poco!” he exclaimed. Now the smile became laughter. Mom’s laughter didn’t bother Joel. He knew his grandmother was happy, and that was________for him.

I’d been worried about Joel understanding what was______ his grandmother when really I was the one who needed to understand. I felt_______for the mother-in-law I had known. He loved the grandma who was here now.

I thanked God for the________of this moment. Then I pulled up a chair next to them and________in the joy of it with them — Let’s seize the present and live it to the fullest.

Mum and Her Bank Account

My family had the tradition to sit down by the kitchen table every Saturday night to count out the money Dad had brought home.

These are for the rent, and these for the groceries. “ Mum counted out and divided the big silver pieces.

I’ll need a notebook, “ That would be my sister Christine, my brother Nels or me.

After Mum put one or two coins to the side for the notebook, she said that was all we needed to buy for the week and we all relaxed a little. We didn’t have to go downtown and draw money out of Mum’s bank account, which could always give us such a warm and secure feeling for having enough to afford the life.

When Nels graduated from grammar school , he needed some money for high school We sat by the table and I offered my “ Little Bank” which was used for sudden emergencies such as the time when Christine broke her arm and had to see a doctor. I laid the box carefully in front of Mum. After counting out the money in the little bank and finding there was not enough, we all agreed not to go to the bank but to find some ways.

Nels volunteered to work in Dillon’s grocery after school and Dad said he would give up smoking. Now there was enough money. We felt relieved.

So many things came out of the little bank that year: Christine’s dress for the school play, Nel’s operation ... Whatever happened , we always knew we still had the bank to depend on. We never used her bank account.

That was twenty years ago.

Last year, I sold my first story. When the money came I thought of Mum’s bank account.

So I hurried over to Mum’s home.

Knowing that there was no bank account at all, I felt shocked.

6 . For many parents, raising a teenager is like fighting a long war, but years go by without any clear winner. Like a border conflict between neighboring countries, the parent-teen war is about boundaries: Where is the line between what I control and what you do?

Both sides want peace, but neither feels it has any power to stop the conflict. In part, this is because neither is willing to admit any responsibility for starting it. From the parents’ point of view, the only cause of their fight is their adolescents’ complete unreasonableness. And of course, the teens see it in exactly the same way, except oppositely. Both feel trapped.

In this article, I’ll describe three no-win situations that commonly arise between teens and parents and then suggest some ways out of the trap. The first no-win situation is quarrels over unimportant things. Examples include the color of the teen’s hair, the cleanliness of the bedroom, the preferred style of clothing, the child’s failure to eat a good breakfast before school, or his tendency to sleep until noon on the weekends. Second, blaming. The goal of a blaming battle is to make the other admit that his bad attitude is the reason why everything goes wrong. Third, needing to be right. It doesn’t matter what the topic is—politics, the laws of physics, or the proper way to break an egg—the point of these arguments is to prove that you are right and the other person is wrong, for both wish to be considered an authority—someone who actually knows something—and therefore to command respect. Unfortunately, as long as parents and teens continue to assume that they know more than the other, they’ll continue to fight these battles forever and never make any real progress.

8 . The Do's and Don'ts of Settling Family Problems

Sometimes something more than consideration is necessary to resolve family issues. How should you cope with a family argument or conflict? Gad Krebs, a Positive Relationship expert, believes you should consider the following three options.

Don’t listen to random advice on how to have a successful relation

Well intentioned people can offer relationship advice readily available.     1    . Firstly, it’s the case where those offering ideal solutions are struggling with miserable relations themselves. Secondly, even though they do enjoy harmony at home, the advice that works for them won’t necessarily work for you.     2    . This is a result of the unique personalities of the couple. What works for one couple may be disastrous for another.

Ask for professional directions

Businesses employ consultants and the sick visit doctors. These professional specialists can be reliable. Relationships should be no different. Living as a couple will lead to conflict; this is unavoidable. Although some disagreements can be settled by the couple alone, others cannot.     3    .

Turning to a competent specialist during a crisis can allow the couple to gain a new perspective on the issue, as well as give them an opportunity to evolve themselves. However, proud people are always unlikely to expose their problems.     4    .

Never say “You never” or “You always”

In the heat of an argument people can shift their focus from specific and technical complaints – “You are 10 minutes late” – to broad and summary statements – “You’re always late!”     5    . It defines not only who they are, but who they always are.

9 . As is often the case, parents are very shocked to discover their children have lied to them for the first time. But new research has suggested many parents may not even notice many of the lies their children tell them.

Psychologists have discovered that most parents are over-confident in their children’s honesty and this may impair their ability to discover a lie.

The findings may help to explain why some parents seem to be willing to let their children get away with almost anything even in the face of the evidence. They say parents suffer from a “truth bias(偏见)” with their own youngsters, but when faced with lies from other people’s children, they have less difficulty telling if a statement is true or not.

Dr Angela Evans, a psychologist at Brock University in Canada, said, “The close relationship that parents share with their own children may lead to parents failing to detect their children’s lies. Parents’ truth bias may result in parents being less suspicious of their children, allowing them to successfully cheat them.”

Most children are thought to start lying as early as two years old but start telling more believable lies at around the age of four years old. Learning how to lie is considered as a key part of cognitive(认知的) and social development in children. But many parents are shocked when their children start lying to them. In their study, Dr Evans and her colleagues filmed 108 children aged between 8 and 16 as they performed a test after being asked not to look at the answers. They were then asked afterwards if they had looked, with 50 truthfully denying looking, 49 lying about looking and 9 admitting to looking.

Videos of those denying looking were then shown to 152 parents of children aged 8 to 16, 80 of whom had children who had taken part in the test. The researchers found that the parents were less able to spot lies told by their own children than by other people’s children.