2 . Being vulnerable (脆弱的) is not a choice. It’s a _________ in our life. What we do with vulnerability can either open doors to deeper connections, or build walls that _________ progress and fulfillment.

Vulnerability _________ the state of being exposed to the possibility of being harmed, either physically or emotionally. It’s part of human _________ because we are vulnerable in some way at all times. We are vulnerable to viruses, accidents, misunderstandings and _________ caused by whatever reasons. The only choice we really have is whether to _________ it or not.

When some people _________ that they have no vulnerability, they are hard to develop meaningful social connections with others. They are just _________. No one likes to spend much time with people who are dishonest or _________ to open up their feelings. Most of the time, a great friendship starts by __________ each other’s vulnerability.

Indeed, it’s not easy for us to admit our vulnerability in front of others. In order to protect ourselves, we tend to struggle with __________. But in fact, when we are vulnerable with people, we have signaled that they can also __________ share their anxieties. And we don’t have to worry too much about the results because a far more common reaction of people is to respect our __________ instead of laughing at us. Under this shared circumstance, we become less __________ by vulnerability and also we __________ a relationship.

3 . I was talking to some friends while standing in line in the cafeteria at my middle school. As I started to share a funny story, my friend Elizabeth _______ me. “Coco! Coco!” she called out. Everyone laughed. This is so _______, I thought. I felt a little bit uncomfortable.

However, I never wanted to ask what “Coco” meant. I _______ it was a code word for a cute boy. Elizabeth was one of the girls that everyone wanted to be friends with. I felt _______ to be friends with her. Later, I noticed that Elizabeth often said bad things about other kids. I would have never said those things about someone, but to fit in, I _______ when Elizabeth said them.

One day, a classmate stopped by my locker and said to me, “‘Coco’ means Elizabeth thinks you’re being _______. It’s really mean.” My eyes filled with tears. I couldn’t _______ it.

The next day, at lunchtime, I sat beside Macy, who was sitting with another two girls and who had always seemed nice, _______ that she didn’t know about Coco. “You know Elizabeth is mean, right?” My heart _______. She knew. Before I could respond, Macy said, “You didn’t ________ to be treated that way, and nobody else does either.” I smiled and then talked to my new friends with ________. We laughed a lot, and no one interrupted with a mean code word.

Most adolescents are attempting to ________ who they are and who they want to be. The word Coco will always serve as a(n) ________ that I need to stay ________ to myself and never compromise my values to be friends with someone. Because with ________ friends, I won’t have to.

4 . Scientists have long believed that humans need meaningful social connections to survive.     1     Knowing that we have people to depend on and who care for us makes us feel confident and safe. And the stronger our relationships are, the more likely we are to thrive. So how do we strengthen the existing friendships in our lives?

    2     —sharing your time, attention or resources with them. People want to be and stay friends with people who value them, and generosity is a way to express that.

You can think about what your skills and talents are and find a way to turn them into generous acts.     3     Or if you’re great with kids, you might offer to babysit for your friends who are parents.

And talk about your struggles, happiness and guilty pleasures. Think about how good it feels to tell a friend you secretly like a boring TV show and hear them say “Me too!”. We feel a deeper connection to our friends when our weakness is met with support.    4    

Talk about your disagreements. It’s hard to deal with conflict in friendships     5     It might be painful at first, but it shows you want to be sincere with them—and that you want to make your relationship better. So if you have an issue with a friend, don’t sweep it under the rug. Try talking about it.

7 . Life continually requires that we write down a few words of thanks: for holidays, meals, presents or people’s place in our hearts. However, too often, our messages end up flat or somewhat unconvincing. To make our messages more effective, we might take a lesson from the history of art.

To some extent, what distinguishes great from common art is the level of detail with which the world has been studied. A talented artist is, first and foremost, someone who takes us into the specifics of the reasons why an experience or a place felt valuable. They don’t merely tell us that spring is ‘nice’, they zero in on the particular contributing factors to this niceness: leaves that have the softness of a newborn’s hands, the contrast between a warm sun and a sharp breeze, the soft cry of baby blackbirds....

Some of the reason why great artists are rare is that our minds are not well set up to understand why we feel as we do. But we can be confident if our minds have been affected, the reasons why they’ve been so will be somewhere, waiting to be uncovered. We stand to realise that it wasn’t so much that the food was ‘delicious’; but that the potatoes in particular had a charming rosemary and garlic flavour. A friend wasn’t just ‘nice’; they brought in a hugely sensitive and generous tone to bear in asking us what it had been like for us when we suffered. The details will be there, waiting for us to catch them.

We don’t have to be great artists to send effective thank-you notes. We just need to locate and hold on tightly to two or three highly detailed reasons for our gratitude.