1 . When I grew up and entered the ________ circles, I remember hearing my first boss say, “We all need to think like ________. ” But it didn’t completely ________. My dad never once said, “If you want to catch a fish you need to think like a fisherman. ”Years later, with great efforts to promote ________ services to people much older and richer than me, I came to ________ what we all need is to think more like customers.

2 . While working as a graduate student in New York City, Vanessa Bohns was given the much ________ job of collecting survey data in Penn Station as part of an academic research project. Each time she________ a passer-by, she thought she would hear them tell her how________they were. Yet the bad responses rarely came; many more people were________to answer the questionnaires than she had ________.

Was it possible, she wondered, that most of us are________about whether people want to respond to our requests? Over the following decade, she________ multiple studies that confirmed this was indeed the________: in many different situations, people are often far more likely to ________than we assume.

________, it seemed that the results provided a refreshingly________view of human nature. “It started as a positive thing, like, isn’t it ________that people are more likely to do things for you than you think?” However, with time going by and more reflection on the results, Bohns has come to________ that her results reflect a broader tendency that we usually ________ how much influence our words can have over others, whether we’re asking them to________actions that are good or bad. People often________to do what they are asked because they find it too awkward to say no, even when they feel________with our requests.

Knowing this can help us understand how our requests might________other people — particularly in the workplace — and help us adjust our requests________ , in ways that respect people’s ________ and without taking what they have done for us for granted.

3 . There is a difference between being an acquaintance（熟人）and being a friend. An acquaintance is someone whose name you know, who you see every now and then, who you probably have something in common with and who you feel comfortable around. It's a person that you can invite to your home and share things with. But they are the people who you don't share your life with, and whose actions sometimes you don't understand because you don't know enough about them.

4 . Everyone thinks they're great listeners. But the truth is that hearing isn’t necessarily listening, nor is it necessarily listening well. Listening is an art as well as a basic life skill that we are encouraged to practise and master.    1    

●Don't interrupt

    2     To master the art of listening, you need to stop any good thoughts that come to mind and let the person say everything they need to say. Often times people simply need someone to talk to, not someone who will cut in and give their own thoughts and opinions.

●Practice active listening.

To understand better in communication, you can first practice active listening. The art of listening isn't simply about staying quiet 100% of the time, it's also about asking questions, which are for clarification or for further explanation, so that you can fully understand what the speaker is telling you.     3     You can also make noises that show you agree with what he person is saying such as “yes”, ‘'yeah", and “okay.”

●    4    

About 60-75% of our communication is accomplished without speaking. In order to know whether to encourage the speaker, or to open yourself more, it's essential to know what the person's body is saying. Do they display signs of discomfort? Are they cautious about you? Their body language tells a lot.

●Create a suitable environment.

It can be difficult to listen to another person when the TV is screaming, your phone is buzzing and there are thousands of cars passing by.     5     Also, when you indicate it would be good to “find a quiet place," you put importance in the person and what they say, and then you show care and consideration.

5 . Why does social media trigger feelings of loneliness and inadequacy? Because instead of being real life, it is, for the most part, impression management, a way of marketing yourself, carefully choosing and filtering the picture and words to put your best face forward.

Online “friends” made through social media do not follow the normal psychological progression of a interpersonal relationship. You share neither physical time nor emotional conversations over the Internet. You simply communicate photographs and catchy posts to a diverse group of people whom you have “friended” or “followed” based on an accidental interaction. This is not to say that your social media friends can't be real friends. They absolutely can, but the two are not the same. Generally speaking, there are no unfiltered comments and casually taken photos on our social media pages. And, rightfully so, because it wouldn't feel safe to be completely authentic and vulnerable with some of our “friends” whom we don't actually know or with whom trust has yet to be built.

Social media can certainly be an escape from the daily routines, but we must be cautioned against the negative effects, such as addiction, on a person's overall psychological well-being.

As humans，we are eager for social connection. Scrolling (滚动) through pages of pictures and comments, however, does not provide the same degree of fulfillment as face to face interactions do. Also, we tend to idealize others' lives and compare our downfalls to their greatest accomplishments, ending in feelings of loneliness and inadequacy.

Social media can lead people on the unhealthy quest for perfection. Some people begin to attend certain events or travel to different places so that they can snap that “perfect” photo. They begin to seek validation through the number of people who “like” their posts. In order for it to play a psychologically healthy role in your social life, social media should supplement an already healthy social network. Pictures and posts should be byproducts of life's treasured moments and fun times, not the planned and calculated image that one is putting out into cyberspace in an attempt to fill insecurities or unmet needs.

Ultimately, social media has increased our ability to connect with various types of people all over the globe. It has opened doors for business and allowed us to stay connected to people whom we may not otherwise get to follow. However, social media should feel like a fun experience, not one that contributes to negative thoughts and feelings. If the latter is the case, increasing face to face time with trusted friends, and minimizing time scrolling online, will prove to be a reminder that your social network is much more rewarding than any “like”, “follow” or “share” can be.

7 . Develop Positive Relationships

One of the most profound experiences we can have in our lives is the connection we have with other human beings. Positive and supportive relationships will help us to feel healthier, happier, and more satisfied with our lives.     1    

●Accept and celebrate differences.

    2     Yet when we try to build relationships, we expect that people will think like we do. In this way, it is so much easier to create a friendly relationship. However, while we may find it initially easier, the novelty of sameness soon would wear off. So accepting that we are all different is a great starting point.

●Listen effectively.

Listening is a crucial skill in boosting another person’s self-esteem.    3    In active listening, we also are genuinely interested in understanding what the other person is thinking, feeling, wanting, or what the message means, and we are active in checking out our understanding before we respond with our own new message. This process is what distinguishes active listening and makes it effective.

●    4    

In a world where time is of the essence, we don’t always have the time to give to our loved ones. Being present in the time you give to people is important. In other words, when you are with someone, you are truly with someone and not living in the past or worrying about the future. Devoting time, energy, and effort to building relationships is one of the most valuable life skills.

●Manage mobile technology.

By now, everyone has a mobile phone and many people have two or more. While they are a lifesaver in an emergency, and an effective tool for communication, they also can be a complete distraction when people exhibit a lack of mobile phone etiquette (礼仪).    5    

8 . “I’m sorry” are two very important words that play a big part in daily life. You might apologize while squeezing through a crowd or using the last of the printer paper at work. It’s easy to say “I’m sorry”, but true apologies are a different story.    1     Or you may wonder how to properly demand an apology if the other person is at fault? With the following tips, you’ll find these are not hard.

Apologize sincerely. A genuine apology can help repair your relationship, and even your reputation—you’re showing that you can be trusted to do what’s right. But your relationship will remain tense if your apology seems casual.    2    

Apply specific principles. A meaningful apology comes down to the three R’s- regret, responsibility and remedy (补救办法). Firstly, communicate your regret. Show the other person you have recognized your error and can relate to his/her pain. Then take complete responsibility.    3     Lastly, show that you’re working to improve the situation. Offer to make up for the harm you caused or promise you wouldn’t repeat it again.

    4    If you’re the offended (冒犯) party, describe what’s changed in the relationship and your true feeling. For example, you could say, “Although there’s a disagreement between you and me, I want us to be friends again. But I’ve been hurt, and I’d like an apology. I need you to acknowledge what you’ve done.”

Don’t expect immediate forgiveness. Most people hope for immediate forgiveness while apologizing, but that may mean you don’t respect the others’ emotions and all you care about is yourself.    5    After all, they were hurt and it would take them a while to recover.

10 . Imagine you are in your final days of study in Budapest. So, on your last weekend, you plan a train trip from Budapest to Prague. You only have a couple of days to make the trip.

You buy a ticket leaving on a Friday night. But after your last class, your professor offers a dinner to congratulate you with a celebration. You have to agree, but your eye is always on the clock.

Dinner takes longer than you thought it would and finally you thank him and say you have a train to catch. But he insists you stay for a quick dessert and offers to drive you to the station. You figure that if he drives you, you will have just enough time to catch your train. But after the dessert, he remembers, “Oh, I didn’t drive. How silly of me!” leaving you to hurry to the station.

Unfortunately, the train—your train—is pulling away. And there won’t be another one until the next night. You have missed your train. And that brings us to our expression for today: That train has left the station.

If you like expressions about boats, you can also say “That ship has sailed” or that someone has “missed the boat”. They are all used the same way.

Besides missing an opportunity, all of these expressions could be used in another situation: When events have been put into place and there is no stopping them.

For example, let’s say your mother wants to fix you up with the nice child of her boss. She arranges the date without talking to you first. You don’t want to go, but she has already told her boss you would. She can say “Sorry, but the train has already left the station. You must go on that date.”