1 . We’ve all been there: in a lift, in line at the bank or on an airplane, surrounded by people who are, like us, deeply focused on their smartphones or, worse, struggling with the uncomfortable silence.

What’s the problem? It’s possible that we all have compromised conversational intelligence. It’s more likely that none of us start a conversation because it’s awkward and challenging, or we think it’s annoying and unnecessary. But the next time you find yourself among strangers, consider that small talk is worth the trouble. Experts say it’s an invaluable social practice that results in big benefits.

Dismissing small talk as unimportant is easy, but we can’t forget that deep relationships wouldn’t even exist if it weren’t for casual conversation. Small talk is the grease (润滑剂) for social communication, says Bernardo Carducci, director of the Shyness Research Institute at Indiana University Southeast. “Almost every great love story and each big business deal begins with small talk, ” he explains. “The key to successful small talk is learning how to connect with others, not just communicate with them. ”

In a 2014 study, Elizabeth Dunn, associate professor of psychology at UBC, invited people on their way into a coffee shop. One group was asked to seek out an interaction (互动) with its waiter; the other, to speak only when necessary. The results showed that those who chatted with their server reported significantly higher positive feelings and a better coffee shop experience. “It’s not that talking to the waiter is better than talking to your husband,”   says Dunn. “But interactions with peripheral (边缘的) members of our social network matter for our well-being also.”

Dunn believes that people who reach out to strangers feel a significantly greater sense of belonging, a bond with others. Carducci believes developing such a sense of belonging starts with small talk. “Small talk is the basis of good manners,” he says.

2 . We’ve all been there: in a lift, in line at the bank or on an airplane, surrounded by people who are, like us, deeply focused on their smartphones or, worse, struggling with the uncomfortable silence.

What’s the problem? It’s possible that we all have compromised conversational intelligence. It’s more likely that none of us start a conversation because it’s awkward and challenging, or we think it’s annoying and unnecessary. But the next time you find yourself among strangers, consider that small talk is worth the trouble. Experts say it’s an invaluable social practice that results in big benefits.

Dismissing small talk as unimportant is easy, but we can’t forget that deep relationships wouldn’t even exist if it weren’t for casual conversation. Small talk is the grease (润滑剂) for social communication, says Bernardo Carducci, director of the Shyness Research Institute at Indiana University Southeast. “Almost every great love story and each big business deal begins with small talk,” he explains. “The key to successful small talk is learning how to connect with others, not just communicate with them.”

In a 2014 study, Elizabeth Dunn, associate professor of psychology at UBC, invited people on their way into a coffee shop. One group was asked to seek out an interaction (互动) with its waiter; the other, to speak only when necessary. The results showed that those who chatted with their server reported significantly higher positive feelings and a better coffee shop experience. “It’s not that talking to the waiter is better than talking to your husband,” says Dunn. “But interactions with peripheral (边缘的) members of our social network matter for our well-being also.”

Dunn believes that people who reach out to strangers feel a significantly greater sense of belonging, a bond with others. Carducci believes developing such a sense of belonging starts with small talk. “Small talk is the basis of good manners,” he says.

3 . Despite being connected online, no matter what state you’re from, each city still retains its own language and slang. At my public high school in Los Angeles, we had our own secret language. A party was a “yart”. A beer was a “brewsky”. If I tried to use these words in front of anyone that didn’t live in Los Angeles, they would have no idea what was going on. When I came to college and used these words around my roommate from the East Coast, she would look at me with a blank stare.

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Whether the way we talk is regional or from online, the soul of communication lies in its power to connect people, foster understanding, and facilitate interactions that shape our personal and social lives. I have often found it’s the way we connect with the people we live around.

4 . Despite being connected online, no matter what state you’re from, each city still retains its own language and slang. At my public high school in Los Angeles, we had our own secret language. A party was a “yart”. A beer was a “brewsky”. If I tried to use these words in front of anyone that didn’t live in Los Angeles, they would have no idea what was going on. When I came to college and used these words around my roommate from the East Coast, she would look at me with a blank stare.

Teenagers are often blamed for pulling apart standard linguistic patterns. The way my parents used to talk isn’t the same way that teenagers talk now. But it reflects the dynamic nature of language, which evolves over time due to various influences, including generational shifts and technological advancements. Teenagers, at an age when they are actively exploring their identity and seeking to differentiate themselves from previous generations, often play a significant role in this evolution.

It’s interesting to note that people around the world all have different terms for everyday things. Last year, I came across a British show called Love Island, which is a reality show that mixes people from different parts of the U. K. in a “villa”(another word Americans don’t typically say) for about eight weeks. As a bystander, the way they talked felt so elegant and fun, but to them, it was just normal.

Whether the way we talk is regional or from online, the soul of communication lies in its power to connect people, foster understanding, and facilitate interactions that shape our personal and social lives. I have often found it’s the way we connect with the people we live around.

5 . Around the globe, about 1 in 4 adults says they’re lonely. And the consequences of long-term social disconnection can be everything from an increased risk of heart attacks to dementia (痴呆). The following offers a road map to make connections.

Be curious. It’s easier to connect with people if you have shared interests or experiences, so start paying attention to what’s in your mind. What motivates you? What excites you?     1     If you know what’s meaningful or fun for you, it may lead you to an activity that connects you to others.

Make something. When experts advise making something, people will say, “Well, I’m not Picasso. I don’t know how to do a fancy painting. ” Of course, you’re not!     2     You can try your grandma’s pie recipe or plant an herb garden that puts your thoughts and feelings about who you are and express those thoughts and feelings to others.

    3     Share something about yourself. It doesn’t have to be the darkest secret of your life, but just something other people might find interesting. Putting yourself out there requires a bit of a risk, and it’s the first step to real connection.

Find a group that matches your interests. Whether it’s volunteering fora cause or playing frisbee (飞盘), try to find others who share your interests. There’s even an online group that has a quirky shared interest: a fascination with brown bears in Alaska, which led to Fat Bear Week. In interactions with others, you can begin to reveal yourself and share the unique things that matter to you.     4    

Other people’s loneliness matters too.     5     If loneliness go unaddressed, people can end up in a world of hurt. If you see someone experiencing loneliness, ask them how they’re doing. Share your own experience of loneliness and how you get rid of it. Thus, helping others can also benefit yourself.

10 . Young people are being criticized for working from home again, with one professor saying it adversely affects their professional and romantic success.

Scott Galloway, a marketing professor at the New York University, spoke about the harms of being at home at The Wall Street Journal’s CEO Council Summit, on Wednesday.

A clip posted on TikTok shows Galloway saying, “You should never be at home. That’s what I tell young people. Home is for seven hours of sleep and that’s it. The amount of time you spend at home is oppositely correlated to your success professionally and romantically. You need to be out of the house.”

In another clip at the same event, the professor insisted that success and work-life balance do not go hand in hand. He said, “If you expect to be in the top 10% economically, much less the top 1%, buck up. Two decades plus, of nothing but work. That’s my experience.”

Galloway has long been an advocate of office working and shunned remote working habits because it weakens young people’s ability to build relationships and network. He previously advised young workers, “Before you collect dogs and spouses, get into the office, establish mentors, establish friends,” in an interview with CNN. He added that workers who get promoted are the ones with the best relationships at work.