2 . A workable and pretty easy solution to improving your listening skills is that you begin to realize how much of your ability to be an effective listener is really about you, not the other person and how fascinating or boring they are.     1    

We tend to assume that listening is little more than showing up and paying attention to the other person.     2     It’s worth noticing how we instinctively (本能地) listen in conversation and whether or not that given listening mode is really what’s called for.

You need to identify your personal “hot spots”.     3     Whether it’s talking about climate change or Father’s Day, when you are not interested at all, you realize it is hard to concentrate. That kind of self-knowledge comes by having a scientific approach and observing yourself in action.

    4     For example, your surrounding environment, the topic at hand, or even particular company may affect your ability to listen. When you do this, you can more easily see what gets in the way of your ability to listen and understand. Thus that makes many of our work-related conversations much easier.

In a performance review or heated debate, you can remind yourself if you’re having an emotional response to feedback and are having trouble hearing the other person out. Observing and learning from your behavior, and noticing how you are affected by your surroundings help you uncover your unique needs for doing your best listening.     5    

3 . Teens often find themselves in difficult situations with friends where they struggle to communicate their needs or their values. Even when their gut(直觉)is telling them that someone is crossing a line, they may struggle to express that the situation is making them uncomfortable. For this reason, parents need to work with their teens to establish boundaries with others.

Although boundaries are different for everyone, when done correctly, they help teens set limits with others in order to protect themselves. Setting boundaries allows teens to communicate with other people about what is OK and what is not OK with them and is important to teen friendships.

What are boundaries? Boundaries are limits teens establish in order to protect themselves in some way from being hurt, manipulated(操纵), or taken advantage of. As an expression of self-worth, boundaries let other people know who they are, what they value, and how they want to be treated. Additionally, boundaries help to create space between teens and other people when they need it.

Learning how to set boundaries - both physical and emotional - is an important part of growing up. It’s also essential to developing friendships that are respectful, supportive and healthy.

Unfortunately, though, many teens have trouble setting boundaries with their friends; and when this happens, it puts them at risk for everything from unhealthy friendships to bullying(霸凌) or abuse.

Of course, setting boundaries isn’t easy. It’s uncomfortable and forces a teen to stand up for themselves. What’s more, communicating boundaries to other people can make for difficult conversations or uncomfortable situations. Yet, it’s one of the most important things that teens need to learn how to do.

4 . How to Overcome a Bad First Impression

First impressions are important, but everyone has an off day or makes mistakes in social situations.     1    . However, there are still things you can do to overcome a bad first impression.

Apologize.     2    . Showing that you are aware of your mistake and willing to take steps to overcome it can help improve the impression the other person has of you.

    3    . You don’t want to make excuses, but it can be helpful to provide an honest explanation for why your first meeting went poorly. You might explain that you were nervous, or that you weren’t feeling well. No matter the cause, an honest explanation may help the other person better understand your situation.

Suggest another meeting. If you won’t see them in another setting, ask if you can have another opportunity to let them get to see the real you.     4    . For example, don’t continue pursuing (追求) someone after they have told you they are not interested.

Show who you really are. If you do get another opportunity to overcome a poor initial impression, make sure you show the qualities and strengths that you have and keep it in your future interactions.     5    .

Overcoming a bad first impression takes time and effort. It’s important to learn from the experience and apply those lessons when meeting new people.

5 . It can be a wonderful and satisfying experience to have roommates to share a home with. Living with others can often help you develop close relationships and learn some life skills along the way.     1    .

Honest communication

In order to solve any problems that may arise, effective communication is necessary.     2    , where you feel free to voice worries, expectations and feedback. It is recommended to have house meetings on a regular basis where all important information is shared and addressed.

    3    

Nothing is more important than keeping your shared space clean and organized. Take the time to clean up shared areas like bathrooms and kitchens and respect each other’s standards of cleanliness.

Develop a sense of humor

    4    . Developing a sense of humor will help relieve tension and create a more lighthearted atmosphere, especially when you and your roommates have the same sense of humor.

Be considerate of your roommates’ needs

Being considerate of your roommates’ schedule, preferences and routines is part of living with them. A supportive living environment is created by small things, for example, offering to pick up groceries or helping with housework.     5    , especially when one of your roommates is studying or working or when anyone in the apartment is asleep.

7 . Your neighbors are probably the first line of defense in case of any problematic situation.     1     It gives you an assurance that you have people close by looking out for you. Here are easily applicable tips on creating stronger neighbor relationships.

The first step is introducing yourself when you move to a new neighborhood or when a newcomer moves in. Leave them a note under their door to introduce yourself.     2     It doesn’t have to cost you a fortune and opting for a potted plant or baked biscuits will do. These actions present excellent opportunities to connect with them.

Be respectful of your neighbors. It’s in poor taste to have regular insensitive parties at your place causing disturbances. Before your party, it’s good practice to notify your neighbors. Besides, avoid chatting them up for hours on end, which may be inconvenient, especially if you don’t know their schedules.     3     When you borrow anything, return it in due time. If you accidentally break their things, replace them without being asked to.

    4     You could offer to babysit your neighbors’ kids, help with snow removals or even keep an eye on their home when they’re away. Such acts of reaching out to your neighbors make for stronger relationships.

As Emma Seppälä put it, “social connectedness generates a positive feedback loop (圈) of social, emotional and physical well-being.” It feels so easy to just stay home without having to engage with your neighbors but connecting with them is worth the effort.     5    

9 . How to Handle an Argument with Your Family Members

We’ve all been there. A relaxed evening with our family members. A lot of laughing. And then, as if someone had sat on the TV remote and changed the channel, the mood shifts. No more warmth. Suddenly there’s shouting, a ping-pong of accusations(指责), deadly stares, and hostility(敌意) streaming from eyes like red laser pointers. Having a conflict with your family members is frustrating, and you may feel sad and depressed.     1    

Do remember that as much as it might feel this way, you’re not in a court of law with your family members.     2     .It is to restore kindness and connection. Think of it this way —if somebody wins, both parties lose.

Do try to be an advocate of others’ feelings.     3     try to stand in the shoes of your family members. Try to understand their immature ways.

    4     .This might frighten your family members, making them feel accused and in turn, act defensively. Example: “I was on the phone with my sister and then suddenly you started acting like crazy out of the blue.” Talk about the way you felt instead. Example: “I was on the phone with my sister and then I suddenly felt scared when I saw you looking at me like I was in trouble.”

Don’t try to explain yourself. You often want to explain yourself when having conflicts with your family members, but you don’t have time. You’re being cut off and attacked again.     5     .The more you talk, the less your family members seem to understand and the further away you get from an agreement.

10 . Miscommunications can sometimes be funny, however, most of time you will feel frustrated or upset. Put some efforts into your conversations, and you can lower your risk of miscommunicating.

    1     Thinking about your words allows you to organize your thoughts and prepare to say something meaningful. Especially if you’re about to have an important conversation, make sure your words are organized so that you can say what you mean.

Get people’s attention. It means making sure they are listening to and understanding the words you say. Make eye contact and check to make sure they are listening. If the other person is distracted or in the middle of doing something else, say that you’ll talk later when he or she is more available.     2    

Listen closely.     3     Instead of trying to think about what they will say next, just stay engaged with the person who is speaking.     4     One of the best ways to do this is through actively listening. Turn your body toward them and lean in. Don’t turn to distractions, like cell phones.

Avoid interrupting. If someone else is speaking, do your best not to interrupt them.     5    This shows that you’re listening and you care about what they are saying. If you tend to interrupt people often, they may feel frustrated in talking to you and may not communicate all they wish to say.