3 . On her first day of school, a six-year-old girl stands outside, fearfully clinging to her mother’s leg.     1     As the girl learns she will be separated from her parents to enter a new building filled with new people, she begins to cry. During the first couple of weeks in her new classroom, the girl does not volunteer to speak when her teacher asks the class questions. At break, she stands by a wall, watching the other children running around the playground.     2     She can be heard laughing and chatting, louder and braver than at school. As the school environment becomes more familiar, her behaviours there will more closely resemble her behaviours at home. This first-grader is shy.

    3     Although definitions vary, shyness is most often characterised by cautiousness or fear in new social situations. In many places, especially in North America, sociability and liveliness are positively valued, and children are encouraged to speak up in different contexts, connect with their peers and trust their teachers.

It’s been estimated however, that as many as 10 to 15 percent of children consistently exhibit shyness, and we know that the tendency to display fear and avoidance in the presence of unfamiliarity is found across species, across cultures and across generations. The ubiquity (无处不在) of shyness suggests that it likely possesses some adaptive functions.     4    

Shy children might be more likely to detect social threats in their environment compared with non-shy children.     5     For example, a shy child might more readily notice an unkind peer or bully. She might not immediately offer personal information about herself and engage in careful decision-making about whether to become friends with the person. These factors might help shield shy children from social conflict and negative social evaluations.

Some people are naturally outgoing, but other people have to practice to become outgoing. If you want to become outgoing, there are several strategies(策略)that you can use. Being “outgoing” involves learning how to present yourself to others, starting conversations, and being more confident in yourself.

One of the easiest ways to present yourself is to ask your friends, colleagues, or classmates to introduce you to their friends. For example, if you walk into a room and your friend is talking to someone else, make it a point to say hello and introduce yourself. The next time you see that person, you can say hello and, since you have already been introduced, you have built a bridge into future communication.

When you’re in a social situation, such as at a party, try to make eye contact with the other people there with a friendly smile. If the other person responds or smiles back at you，then go over to them and introduce yourself. That is usually a good sign for a possible conversation. If the person does not respond, let them go their way. There’s a difference between being “outgoing” and “pushy”. Another practical way to start a conversation with others is to use compliments(赞美). When you’re attracted by certain people, you're bound to notice little things that you appreciate. You can acknowledge these things with a sincere compliment.

Doing something that makes you feel a little uncomfortable is a good way to promote your confidence and help you become a more outgoing version of yourself. If you have never danced before but want to take a ballet lesson, try it out. Do your best to fight the inner voice telling that you can’t do something or defining(定义)yourself by what you think you should be doing instead. With each little victory, you’ll gain the confidence to step further and further outside your comfort zone.

6 . Teachers often encourage students to express the spirit of generosity and kindness.    1    In their opinion, it's not only a selfless way to help others, but can also help students get along with others and improve their health and happiness. But how can educators develop children's natural unselfish tendencies? Here are some research-based suggestions.

●Create a connected classroom. The best way to create the emotional association is to set up a safe and caring classroom. Therefore, work together with your students to make kindness and understand the classroom rule. As they develop a stronger sense of belonging students will become more unselfish. And building this type of "connected" classroom can help to strengthen their generous motivation.    2    

●    3    Numerous studies have shown that it doesn't take much to bring out unselfish tendencies in people. One study found that reading the word "love" was enough to make people kinder toward others. Another study discovered that participants who wrote a few sentences about a loved one were more likely to sit next to a stranger.    4     Encourage students to use positive words, such as friendship, kindness, helpfulness, giving, etc.

●Don't reward unselfish behavior!    5    A study found children as young as 21 months will help another person without being asked to do so. Another study found that children who were offered a reward for helping behavior were less likely to help again than those who didn't receive a reward. So instead of offering rewards for good behavior, just behave kindly towards each other!

8 . How would you feel if you were sharing a personal story and noticed that your friend wasn't really listening? You probably wouldn’t be too excited. Without active listening, people often feel unheard and unacknowledged.     1    

Listen without making judgements. Most people tend to judge others during conversations.     2     If you let your opinions come into play, they may ruin the conversation. However, if you enter a discussion with the goal of understanding someone else's opinion, they will want to have deeper discussions with you.

    3     Physically showing that you’re listening doesn’t come naturally for everybody. But if someone is ready to open up to you, and you sit back with your arms crossed without saying a word, they’re not going to say much. To encourage someone to keep talking, focus on the speaker by turning your head and body to face them and by making eye contact.

Ask questions. Asking questions is one of the best ways to show you're interested. If someone is telling you about their ski trip, don’t respond with “That’s nice.”     4     Instead, you can ask, “How long have you been skiing?” or “What was your favorite part of the trip?” The person will think highly of you because you have asked a few questions.

Think before responding. After the speaker has finished talking, a good listener may take some time before responding. Simply take a few seconds to think or say, “Give me a second to think about that.” Doing so either makes the speaker first feel you’re listening to what they’re saying.     5     In this way, it will make the speaker feel comfortable as they see you processing what they've said.

9 . Is being different around different people like putting on a mask? When I am around different people I act differently. I switch my attitude around so it is similar to that of my friends.     1    

The honest truth is that every person has many different parts of his or her personality that make up the whole person. For example, there are times when I am excited and noisy. At other times I like to be more quiet and reserved. During neither of these times am I being dishonest; just another aspect of my personality is coming out. And sometimes I behave differently depending on the social situation that I am in. For example, I am a pretty casual guy, so I really do prefer wearing jeans and T-shirts whenever possible.     2    

This is not wearing a mask. It is just being respectful and appropriate to the situation. And there are even groups of people that bring out certain parts of my personality. For example, when I am hanging out with ray male friends, I can be loud and wild. But when I am at home with my wife and kids after a long day at work, I am much more reserved and quiet.     3    Rather, I am just being socially appropriate, and sensitive to the people that I am with or the situation that I am in. At other times I feel comfortable being loud around my family and reserved with my friends.     4    They wouldn’t be good friends if they didn't value all the different aspects of my personality.

By contrast, what if I were with a group of people who support abortion?     5    Just to avoid conflict. If you have a friend or friends who don’t like the silly part of you, then they may not be good friends.