1 . “What do you want to be when you grow up?” When I was a kid, I ______ the question. Adults always seemed terribly disappointed that I wasn’t dreaming of becoming something grand or ______, like an astronaut.

Now, as an organizational psychologist, my job is to fix other people’s jobs, and I’ve come to believe that asking youngsters that question does them ______.

My first complaint about the question is that it ______ kids to define themselves in terms of work. If we define ourselves by our jobs, our ______ depends on what we achieve. So when you are asked what you want to be, it’s not socially ______ to say “A father” or “A mother”, let alone “A person of integrity”.

The second ______ is the implication that there is one calling (职业) out there for everyone. Research shows that ______ one leaves students feeling lost and ______. After all, not everyone has that talent for grand jobs.

If you manage to ______ the above barriers, there is a third hurdle (难关) : careers rarely live up to your childhood ______. In one study, looking for a(n) ______ job left college seniors feeling more anxious and less satisfied with the ______. As Tim Urban writes, happiness is reality minus expectations. It’s clear how expectations ______ our perceived happiness. If you are looking for extreme happiness, you’re bound to be disappointed.

Asking kids what they want to be leads them to ______ a career identity they might never want to earn. Instead, invite them to think about the different things they might want to do.