4 . “Second place is just the first loser” is a well-known saying from the legendary NASC ARchampion Dale Earnhardt. Or as my late father put it jokingly, “It’s not enough to win. Your friends have to lose, too.”

We may not want others to know our thoughts, but many of us think this way, because we are born to compete with each other. However, if left unmanaged, this can create conflicts between ourselves and others. Fortunately, there is a way to solve this problem: instead of always going for gold, aim for the bronze (铜牌).

To expand on the wisdom of Earnhardt, although second place may be the first loser, third place can be the real winner, at least when it comes to happiness and longevity. A 1995 study discovered that bronze winners appeared consistently happier on average than silver medalists, while another research in 2018 studied U.S. athletes in the Olympics from 1904 to1936 and found that those whose best performance was silver lived to 72 on average. Gold medalists beat this by living to 76. But the first prize went to the bronze winners, who lived to 78.

The social concepts of upward and down ward comparison help explain the difference. Silver medalists see themselves as the first loser because they compare themselves only with the champions. In contrast, the bronze winners compare downwards with those who have never made it onto the podium (领奖台) at all. Therefore, they feel better about themselves and thus, happier. The emotion shows up in improved health and lifespan. In fact, researchers have found that comparing ourselves with the unfortunate lot of others is a reliable technique for reducing a negative mood. The comparison is not from a feeling of ill will, but because rewards in life are relative.

The worldly happiness strategy of working for gold every day is foolish. Stop spending most of your time feeling like a silver medalist: always pursuing and relying your happiness on a single outcome. Rather, aim for healthy competitions in which you do your best without the expectation of being the absolute winner.

5 . At 9 am on Wednesdays, Gaby Rountree waves goodbye to Mila as she is picked up to go to day care in Mexico City. “It has made her so independent, so friendly and so lovely with others,” Ms Rountree says joyfully. She shuts the front door and turns to homeschooling her two children. Mila is not a child, but the family dog.

Schools and nurseries have been shut in Mexico for a year owing to the pandemic. But the doggy day care is booming. Doggy carers offer claw-trims (修剪) and let beloved pets play outdoors. “Many clients now have a home office and are worried about their dogs becoming too attached to them,” explains Montserrat, an owner of a dog day-care center, as she strokes a tiny dog on her lap. The facility, in the rich neighbourhood, also has a camp where dogs can spend a relaxing weekend in the countryside.

Mexico’s rising passion for dogs has coincided (同时发生) with falling human fertility (生育能力). In the mid-1980s, a Mexican woman could expect to have four children; now, only two. In the long run, as people have grown richer and the returns to education have risen, families have shrunk. For some, a dog is a lovable substitute. The most devoted owners buy clothes and throw birthday parties for their dogs. Many restaurants welcome dogs and provide drinking water. Some restaurants even offer a full doggy menu. Parks have “doggy areas”. Pet beauty salons provide not only baths and trims but other methods of relaxation.

Mexico’s spoilt pets are probably enjoying the pandemic more than the locked-down kids. By one estimate, nearly two-thirds of the children have missed a year of school because of coronavirus. For mothers such as Ms Rountree doggy day care offers some relief from Covid-influenced hard boring work. But she will not stop worrying until her children, too, are let off the chain and back into the classroom.

6 . Thirteen-year-old Kaylee has a lot of friends — 532, actually, if you count up her online friends. And she spends a lot of time with them.

But is it possible that Kaylee’s online friendships could be making her lonely? That’s what some experts believe. Connecting online is a great way to stay in touch, they say. However, some experts worry that many kids are so busy connecting online that they might be missing out on true friendships.

Could this be true? During your parents’ childhoods, connecting with friends usually meant spending time with them in the flesh. Kids played Scrabble around a table, not Words With Friends on their phones. When friends missed each other, they picked up the telephone. Friends might even write letters to each other.

Today, most communication takes place online. A typical teen sends 2,000 texts a month and spends more than 44 hours per week in front of a screen. Much of this time is spent on social media platforms (平台).

In fact, in many ways, online communication can make friendships stronger, “There’s definitely a positive influence. Kids can stay in constant contact, which means they can share more of their feelings with each other,” says Katie Davis, co-author of The App Generation.

Other experts, however, warn that too much online communication can get in the way of forming deep friendships. “If we are constantly checking in with our virtual words, we will have little time for our real-world friendships.” says Larry Rosen, a professor at California State University. Rosen also worries that today’s kids might mistake the “friends” on the social media for true friends in life. However, in tough times, you don’t need someone to like your picture or share your blogs. You need someone who will keep your secrets and hold your hand. You would like to talk face to face.

7 . Technology use seems to be the new wave of addiction hitting people of all ages. The next time you’re in a crowded public place, look at the people around you. It’s hard to find someone who isn’t glued to the tiny screen, fingers moving at lightning speeds, texting their friends, emailing co-workers or listening to music. It may seem ridiculous (荒唐的) that someone is that addicted to such a small object. I’ve seen people who seem to be at their wits’ end if their phone or iPad has been taken away, lost or left at home.

Some people may ask, “What’s wrong with technology use? It’s a way for people to communicate.” While this is true, the overuse of technology isn’t always appropriate in certain settings. Schools are becoming stricter about the use of cell phones, iPods and other electronics in classrooms. Various workplaces have signs hanging on their walls warning employees that “Cell phone use is not permitted” or “Cell phones are forbidden”.

Electronics may be a way for people to communicate and stay in touch with each other, but the disadvantages may outweigh the benefits. People are losing the ability to hold face-to-face conversations with others.

However, it’s hard to avoid electronics in this day and age because almost everything is turning into an electronic format. Books, originally meant for paper design, are now being transferred (转存) to electronic forms. Photo albums, and even yearbooks, can now be viewed via the Internet. With this growing trend, future generations are bound to become even more addicted to technology.

Is there a cure for electronic addiction? Simply turning electronics off for an hour or two a day may help to an extent, but it will not completely help overcome electronic addiction. There only seems to be one cure left, and it may be the hardest: self-control.