【推荐1】You can be hurt by other people in life. That is a fact. And some of those hurts can even leave scars that affect how you think, act and relate to others.    1    Withdraw into a shell, hide in a cave, and isolate(孤立) yourself from others. Definitely not. You can make a different choice to make painful circumstances direct you to a new path.

Remember you can’t please every single person especially a critical one.    2     Some are praying for rain, while others are praying for sunshine. You shouldn’t be replaying hurtful statements made to you. Additionally, it’s foolish to attempt what is impossible.

    3     We live in a society where we don’t get a whole lot of approval. It is not wise of you to do all sorts of crazy things trying to win a smile from some people too cold to ever give it. So refuse to play the game. Don’t waste any energy trying to convince unpleasable, disapproving people that you are a great person.    4    

Refuse to fight back. When we are hurt, the instant reaction is to fight back.     5     Instead, you can pray for the other person. It will help both of you. Be an actor, not a reactor.

It cannot be denied that dealing with other people effectively is one of the most important things you can learn in life. After you’ve mastered that you’re about 95 percent down the road to finding happiness.

【推荐3】We’ve all been in a position where life gets busy, schedules are difficult to coordinate and connecting with friends feels harder than ever. With some friendships, we may lose touch and want to reconnect. However，the more time that passes, the more uncertain it can feel if they want to hear from us.

A recent study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology says it’s time to reach out. Researchers found numerous benefits when reaching out to friends and old acquaintances. Especially if you’re unsure of how well they’ll receive hearing from you. The study, led by Dr Peggy Liu, is called The Surprise of Reaching Out: Appreciated More Than We Think. In the study, researchers posed the question: Do people accurately understand how much other people value being reached out to by someone in their social circle? To answer this question, researchers carried out 13 experiments with more than 5,900 participants. In the experiments, researchers measured how much people estimated their friends or acquaintances would appreciate them reaching out versus how much those on the receiving end did appreciate it. They also examined different forms of communication-phone calls, texts, emails, notes or even small gifts—and their impact.

Over the series of experiments, experts discovered a similar trend: those reaching out significantly underestimated how much their friends would appreciate hearing from them. Plus, the more unexpected the communication was, the more the friend on the receiving end appreciated it. “People are fundamentally social beings and enjoy connecting with others,” the researchers wrote.

In fact, what made these moments of reaching out so impactful was the effort they showed—no matter the form of communication. Dr Amie Gordon, a social psychologist at the University of Michigan, emphasises the importance of small moments and making efforts in relationships in a Psychology Today article. “In a busy life, these little moments might feel just like that—little moments that don’t really matter ... But each moment we ignore is a missed opportunity to connect and build up an emotional bank of positive moments.”

The science is clear—people appreciate the effort we put into our friendships. And we greatly underestimate it. One phenomenon that may explain why those who reached out underestimated their positive impact is because of “the liking gap”. Psychologist Terri Apter writes in Psychology Today that the liking gap is a tendency to “how we often underestimate other’s responses to us”, and the reality that other people like us more than we may think.

【推荐2】Masako Furuichi, a Japanese teacher at the School of Foreign Languages of Peking University, was shocked when she saw the headline of her student’s thesis: Japanese animation has begun to decline. She felt that Chinese animation have shaken the status of Japanese animations in China.

She mentioned as an example the Chinese animation The Lengend of Luo Xiaohei, released in Japan on September 20, 2019, which has quickly won the hearts of Japanese audiences. The film has taken more than 560 million yen(about $5 million)at the box office, setting a record for Chinese animation films overseas. Many Japanese fans expressed their appreciation for the film on social media and tried to buy some cultural products from China. Some even started to learn Chinese. Not only Japan, but Hollywood also turned its attention to Chinese comic books for inspiration. It was confirmed that the Chinese comic Zombie Brother will hit the big screen in the action comedy film Nee York will Eat You Alive.

“As China is developing fast, animation, as a small branch of Chinese culture, will surely improve against the social background,” Shang You, the director of China’s 2020 animation hit, White Cat Legend, said.

Just like the animation in Japan which learned from Disney and Hollywood in the US and later developed special characteristics that fit the country, Chinese animation was also first inspired by Japanese animation. However, China is currently leading a unique road that is different from the culture in Japan and in Western countries. “Chinese culture is profound and we, creators, as native Chinese, could better understand the ancient civilization with 5,000 years of history, than the Japanese creators,” said Shang.

However, he denied that Japanese animation has lost its advantage. “It does not make sense to conclude that Japanese animation is declining because of the boom of Chinese animation. I think the industry in Japan is also experiencing a new change in a fast developed society.”

【推荐2】My 14-year-old son, Gus, is severely allergic to peanuts and other nuts, so for years we’ve been washing hands like surgeons, and we wipe down surfaces every time we eat out. We know the closest emergency room and exactly what to do during a reaction. Our preparedness to guard against a worst-case situation felt like a win when the pandemic hit. Our everyday caution, which can be exhausting and make us feel awkward at social events, is now a great advantage.

As it turns out, COVID-19 life has had multiple advantages for food-allergy families like mine. Stuck at home with just the food we cook ourselves, we’ve been safe from all the land mines, like big holiday parties with boxes of walnut cookies, or Halloween, with kids eating Snickers while sticking their hands into shared bowls. Not to mention restaurant meals that have unexpected ingredients.

So the pandemic gave me a gift I didn’t even know I needed: I felt seen. The whole world was in prevention mode, weighing what might have touched their groceries or takeout food. We all wash our hands now whether our kids have food allergies or not. We all might call ahead to double-check a restaurant’s precautions and whether the chef wears gloves. I didn’t feel strange anymore.

Of course, the limitations on regular life will ease up soon, and families like mine will need to be on guard again. When I think about the new normal, I’m fine with that post-COVID-19 life. I hope we can keep this appreciation that not everyone’s immune system functions in the same way and some people do need to be more cautious. This makes me think of the classic home-design advice: “You need to take everything out of a room to know what you want to put back.” We’ve taken everything out of the room, and I hope we put back empathy, understanding and tolerance.

【推荐3】Lindsay couldn’t go to her gym after Beijing shut down indoor sports facilities in May because of a coronavirus outbreak. So she started cycling and soon fell in love with the sport. “I realized a racing bicycle was quite different from a regular bike,” she said. “It’s very fast and exciting, and I couldn’t stop anymore.”

Bicycles have long been a means of transport in China and once outnumbered cars on city streets. Now cycling is also increasingly seen as a sport by the urban middle class that has benefited from China’s growth into the world’s second largest economy. Biking events organized by Beijing cycling club Qiyi totaled about 10,000 participants over the past year, with about 50% of them regulars. Nationwide, at least 20 million people are participating in the sport, according to the Chinese Cycling Association.

The pandemic has played a role, with authorities moving quickly to close non-essential businesses, including gyms, during outbreaks under a strict zero-COVID approach. Cycling, which can be done individually as well as in groups, has largely been free from restrictions that limit gathering. For cyclist Yang Lan, the reason why she loves cycling is that the sport provides an escape from the daily life in the coronavirus era. “With the pandemic, it seems to be the only way for us to run away from the terrible city life and pace,” she said.

People will have more choices for sports and entertainment when the pandemic is over. But Feng Baozhong, the vice president of the Chinese Cycling Association says that he expects cycling to remain popular. Because it’s driven by China’s growing economy, growth of the sports industry and increasing concern about health due to COVID-19. “The pursuit of health will not disappear,” he said, “and the popularity of cycling is also a sign of the public’s awareness of environmental protection and pursuit of a low-carbon lifestyle.”