Convincing someone to change their mind is really the process of convincing them to change their tribe (部落). If they abandon their beliefs, they run the risk of losing social ties. You can’t expect someone to change their mind if you take away their community too.
The way to change people’s minds is to become friends with them, to combine them into your tribe, to bring them into your circle. Now, they can change their beliefs without the risk of being abandoned socially.
The British philosopher Alain de Botton suggests that we simply share meals with those who disagree with us: “Sitting down at a table with a group of strangers has the incomparable and odd benefit of making it a little more difficult to hate them without punishment. Prejudice and conflict between groups of people from different nations or races feed off abstraction. However, during a meal, something about handing dishes around, unfolding napkins (餐巾纸) at the same moment, even asking a stranger to pass the salt makes us less likely to hold the belief that the outsiders who wear unusual clothes and speak in distinctive accents deserve to be sent home or attacked. For all the large-scale political solutions which have been proposed to ease racial or cultural conflict, there are few more effective ways to promote tolerance between suspicious neighbours than to force them to eat supper together.”
Perhaps it is not difference, but distance that produces tribalism and unfriendliness. As proximity increases, so does understanding. I am reminded of Abraham Lincoln’s quote, “I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better.” Facts don’t change our minds. Friendship does.
The Japanese writer Haruki Murakami once wrote, “Always remember that to argue, and win, is to break down the reality of the person you are arguing against. It is painful to lose your reality, so be kind, even if you are right.”
When we are in the moment, we can easily forget that the goal is to connect with the other side, cooperate with them, befriend them, and integrate them into our tribe. We are so caught up in winning that we forget about connecting. It’s easy to spend your energy labeling people rather than working with them.
The word “kind (family and relatives)” originated from the word “kin (old fashion of family and relatives).” When you are kind to someone, it means you are treating them like family. This, I think, is a good method for actually changing someone’s mind. Develop a friendship. Share a meal. Gift a book. Be kind first, be right later.
1. People are likely to change their mind when they ________.| A．change their beliefs | B．are made friends with |
| C．move to a new community | D．are given somewhere to go |
| A．pleases people with different beliefs or accents |
| B．makes people focus on eating rather than conflicts |
| C．brings benefits to the people having dinner together |
| D．promotes understanding and tolerance among people |
| A．Nearness. | B．Action. | C．Communication. | D．Politeness. |
| A．breaking down one’s reality is easy |
| B．kindness is more important than right |
| C．arguing and winning are not important |
| D．losing one’s identity is a painful process |
相似题推荐
【推荐1】It's a Saturday morning,and I am eager to fly away.My husband and I will meet up with our son on the other side of the country to learn and explore together.Sitting now at the airport gate,my husband wanders away to stretch his legs.Moments later,he returns and whispers in my ear.I rise and follow him around the comer toward a large window facing the landing area.
On the road,Marines stand straight and the plane door is open.A white hearse(灵车）is parked nearby.A man and a soldier stand on either side of a woman,supporting her and waiting for what is to come.Airport personnel stand in reverent stillness.A few people place their hands over their hearts,as I have done.We're joined in witness,sending respect to an honorable soldier whose name we'll never know.
The woman looks heartbroken.She cries,knowing she will never hear "Mom”from her son. She'll never feel his tender embrace or enjoy his sweet peck on her cheeks.Another man's face is twisted because of the grief.His son,the tiny boy he no doubt wrestled playfully,the teen he probably taught to drive,and the son he stood so proudly by,now lives only in his memory.
Those behind the glass stay silent,reflecting on this loss,as the family and soldiers leave.Some of us women, with sorrowful expressions,move slowly away,sharing a mother's profound grief Soon,each of us will fly off in planes and return to an ordinary life made extraordinary by this soldier's courage.by this family's sacrifice and by this love shared by all that look out of the window
1. Why dd the author's husband leave when she was siting at the gate?| A．Because he wanted to meet his son. |
| B．Because he wanted to feel more comfortable by walking around. |
| C．Because there was something unusual happening. |
| D．Because he wanted to enjoy beautiful scenery. |
| A．Sorrowful and respectful. | B．Surprised and interested |
| C．Curious and thrilled. | D．Frightened and worried. |
| A．The author came to the airport in order to attend the ceremony. |
| B．The honorable soldier liked wrestling as a boy. |
| C．The author thought highly of the soldier and his family |
| D．The people at the airport all in deep sorrow due to the incident. |
| A．I saw heartbroken parents at the airport. |
| B．Soldier's courage moved us at the airport |
| C．Showing respect to an honorable soldier. |
| D．A fallen soldier reunited with his family. |
【推荐2】I remember my teen years when all I wanted was to put on weight. Growing up, I was always on the thinner side and try as I could, I never seemed to put on the kilos. I would admire the chubbier (丰满的) girls and wished to be like them.
Today, I’m comfortable in my skin, and I have learnt the art of self-love. And yes, I did put on the kilos years later after childbirth, but I lost them at the gym, and I am happy with myself. This got me thinking about the number of people today who want to look like someone else.
Learn to fall in love with yourself. Learn to value yourself. If you do not like something about yourself, why not work out to get to your ideal (理想的) body type? This not only increases your confidence, but you no longer have to wear those ugly tops to hide your stomach.
| A．Learn to say No. |
| B．Learn to balance the life and work. |
| C．Accept what you are and be yourself. |
| D．Remember, you cannot pour out of an empty cup. |
| E．Now I realize I had weighed my self-worth on how I looked. |
| F．They look in the mirror and don’t like what they see. |
| G．Invest (投资) in self-improvement courses if you have to. |
【推荐3】To be more grateful (感恩的) in life means that you are also allowing yourself to be happier and more satisfied with everything that has been going on around you. But with all the stress, all the disappointments and all the anxiety around you. I bet you ask yourself this question all the time: “How exactly can I be more grateful with my life?”
1. Learn to live in the moment.
Life is a wonderful adventure full of enriching experiences and endless possibilities. Don’t just go through the motions of (走过场) repetitive(重复乏味的) activities and boring tasks. No! Being a mindless zombie (行尸走肉) can make you more likely to take things for granted (对……不予重视).
You’re supposed to attend a conference? Absorb it. Babysit your niece? Enjoy the moment. Eat a 15-minute lunch? Taste each bite.
2.
Being aware of your goal to be more grateful can help you look for things to be really more grateful for. Gratitude is a conscious decision. You have to practice it consistently (持续的，始终如一地).
3.Control your thoughts.
Of course you have the power to control what you’re thinking of! Consider this exercise, for example: if you find yourself thinking more and more self-entitled (自我为中心), stop.
4. Always resist the temptation (诱惑) of comparing yourself with other people.
As humans, we have the natural tendency (倾向、偏好）to compare ourselves with others with the hope of attaining satisfaction. Actually, this kind of activity does not help you feel to be more grateful in life.
Don’t do it, please.
Every little thing counts. You have the ability to make yourself feel to be more grateful in your life.
| A．Appreciate what you had in the past |
| B．And if you find yourself repeating negative (消极的) junk, stop |
| C．It does the opposite |
| D．Egress gratitude all the time |
| E．Well, the following are some tips to help you with this particular concern (忧虑) |
| F．Instead of doing something just for the sake of (为了) doing it |
| G．Words that stress you and make you feel worthless should definitely be removed |
【推荐1】The most prevalent use of intelligence test scores is to predict degree of academic success. Such scores are used in some communities as bases for admitting able children to schools at ages younger than normal, and they are very generally used to determine admissions to schools beyond public secondary school. Another use common in elementary schools involves comparing such scores with performances in various subjects to identify children who are working below capacity.
The greatest problem in using intelligence tests for the purpose of prediction is that no dependable criterion(标准) of their accuracy exists. The ideal criteria would be objective and reliable achievement tests following instruction in each subject, but there are few such tests, especially at the college level. Studies have shown that correlations(相关度) between intelligence tests and achievement tests in various subjects through secondary school range roughly from 0.5 to 0.8. Such correlations are fairly high, but they do not suggest anywhere near complete agreement.
At the college level there are two major tests used as criteria of admission. By far the more important is the College Entrance Examination, constructed by the Educational Testing Service authorized by the College Entrance Examination Board. These tests are returned to the Educational Testing Service for scoring, and the results are then made available to the various colleges authorized by the students to receive them. The second test of this type is the American College Test, which operates in essentially the same fashion.
Both tests constitute measures of certain skills, abilities, and knowledge that have been found to be related to success in college. Their correlations with academic success are limited for three outstanding reasons. First, measures of achievement in college are themselves perhaps no more reliable than those in elementary and secondary schools. Second, intellectual factors do not alone determine academic success, especially at the college level. Many students drop out of schools because they are inadequately motivated or because they dislike the instructional program. Third, correlations are lowered because the use of such tests for denying admission to some students means that the range of scores for those admitted is restricted, and such restrictions tend to reduce correlation.
1. The intelligence scores can be used in the following way EXCEPT ______.| A．telling in advance the degree of academic success |
| B．admitting intelligent children to school at the age younger than ordinary |
| C．finding out children working below capacity in primary schools |
| D．selecting pupils by public secondary schools |
| A．The standards for the evaluation of college students’ academic achievements need to be improved. |
| B．The correlations between intelligence and achievement tests in middle schools are not as high as predicted. |
| C．Intelligence test scores can help predict accurately the degree of students’ academic success. |
| D．The high correlations can prove that the results of academic tests exactly agree with intelligence test scores. |
| A．The papers of the College Entrance Examination are set by the College Entrance Examination Board. |
| B．The American College Test is of the same importance as the College Entrance Examination. |
| C．The results of the two examinations will be sent to colleges with the students’ permission. |
| D．The College Entrance Examination is as fashionable as the American College Test. |
| A．Measures of students’ achievements in college |
| B．Students’ motivations for and interest in their study |
| C．Some students’ being refused the admission to the college |
| D．The popular use of the intelligence test |
【推荐2】Too much work, too little money and not enough opportunity for promotion, .or growth are stressing us out on the job, according to a new survey from the American Psychological Association.
We all know that stress reduces all of the things that help productivity— mental clarity (清晰), short-term memory, decision-making and moods. One-third of employees experience lasting stress related to work, the survey found. Fifty-four percent of the 1,501 employed adults surveyed say they feel they are paid too little for their contributions, and 61% said their jobs don’t offer adequate opportunities to advance. Only half of the adults surveyed said they feel valued at work.
Besides, women’s stress is rising as families rely more on women’s earnings. An employed wife’s contribution to family earnings has reached, on average, 47% since 2009, so women feel especially stuck and tense. Thirty-two percent of women said their employers don’t provide sufficient opportunities for internal advancement, compared with 30% of men. Women are more likely to feel tense during a typical workday, reporting more often that their employer doesn’t appreciate what they do.
Physically, the body responds to stress by secreting hormones into the bloodstream that stimulate accelerated (加速的) heart rate and breathing and tensing of muscles. People who experience stress as a positive often have increased blood flow to the brain, muscles and limbs, similar to the effects of aerobic exercise. Those who feel frightened or threatened, however, often have an unstable heart rate and constricting wood vessels (血管). Their blood pressure rises and hands and feet may grow cold. They may become agitated, speak more loudly or experience errors in judgment.
Emotional responses to stress often divide along gender lines, with men more likely to have a “fight or flight” reaction while women are more likely to have a tend and befriend” response, seeking comfort in relationships and care of loved ones, according to the research.
Women tend to “internalize”, which contributes to their stress. Many women hesitate to speak up for themselves or challenge behavior they see as unfair. Kay Keaney, interior designer, 40, rose fast at a California medical group, taking on responsibility for interior and facility planning. With her 60-hour workweeks, plus early-morning and late-night meetings and a 1.5-hour commute each way, she seldom had time with her two small children. Whether stuck in traffic on her way to a 6 p.m. pickup at day care, or tom between her children and urgent work emails, “I just wanted to crawl out of my skin,” she says. “I was overwhelmed.” Yet she hesitated to complain. “There was too much work to be done, and playing the Mommy card was bad form.” But the experts suggest that women should give themselves a voice.
1. The underlined word “agitated” in Paragraph 4 is closest in meaning to ________.| A．fearful | B．optimistic | C．anxious | D．ambitious |
| A．Everyone has a painful sense of being under-appreciated or under-paid. |
| B．An increasing number of people feel satisfied with work-life balance. |
| C．An improving job market is making some people’s work lives easier. |
| D．Most women have higher levels of work stress than the opposite sex. |
| A．relieving oneself from stress involves being frank as well as brave |
| B．experiencing symptoms of lasting stress causes communication barriers |
| C．seeking comfort from friends or relatives has little to do with office stress |
| D．being challenged or devalued by others leads to numerous health problems |
| A．Other aspects in life affected by stress in work. |
| B．Tips to help women handle their hard times properly. |
| C．Examples to show the different gender responses to stress. |
| D．Reasons why people are likely to feel tense when working. |
【推荐3】Modern buildings are set up on a large scale in the city. Should they be allowed to be built next to older buildings in a historic area of a city? In order to answer this question, we must first examine whether people really want to preserve the historic feel of an area. All historical buildings are not attractive. However, there may be other reasons — for example, economic reasons — why they should be preserved. So, let us assume that historical buildings are both attractive and important to be the majority of people. What should we do then if a new building is needed?
In my view, new architectural styles can exist perfectly well alongside an older style. Indeed, there are many examples in my hometown where modern designs have been placed very successfully next to old buildings. As long as the building in question is pleasing and does not dominate its surroundings too much, it often improves the attractiveness of the area.
It is true that there are examples of new buildings which have spoilt the area they are in, but the same can be said of some old ones too. Yet people still speak against new buildings in historic areas. I think this is simply because people are naturally conservative （保守的）and do not like change.
Although we have to respect people's feelings as fellow users of the buildings, I believe that it is the duty of the architect and planner to move things forward. If we always reproduced what was there before, we would all still be living in caves. Thus, I would argue against copying previous architectural styles and choose something fresh and different, even though that might be the more risky choice.
1. What is the author's view of historical buildings in Paragraph 1?| A．Some of them are unattractive. |
| B．Many of them are too old to preserve. |
| C．They don't offer the historic feel of an area. |
| D．They are more pleasing than modern buildings. |
| A．We should reproduce the same old buildings. |
| B．Buildings shouldn't fit in with their surroundings. |
| C．Some old buildings have reduced the interest of the area they are in. |
| D．No one knows why people are against new buildings. |
| A．destroy old buildings |
| B．put things in a different place |
| C．respect people's feelings |
| D．choose new architectural style |
| A．To explain why people dislike change. |
| B．To warn that we could end up living in caves. |
| C．To answer the questions people show great interest in. |
| D．To argue that modern buildings can be built in historic areas. |
