Some people are naturally outgoing, but other people have to practice to become outgoing. If you want to become outgoing, there are several strategies(策略)that you can use. Being “outgoing” involves learning how to present yourself to others, starting conversations, and being more confident in yourself.

One of the easiest ways to present yourself is to ask your friends, colleagues, or classmates to introduce you to their friends. For example, if you walk into a room and your friend is talking to someone else, make it a point to say hello and introduce yourself. The next time you see that person, you can say hello and, since you have already been introduced, you have built a bridge into future communication.

When you’re in a social situation, such as at a party, try to make eye contact with the other people there with a friendly smile. If the other person responds or smiles back at you，then go over to them and introduce yourself. That is usually a good sign for a possible conversation. If the person does not respond, let them go their way. There’s a difference between being “outgoing” and “pushy”. Another practical way to start a conversation with others is to use compliments(赞美). When you’re attracted by certain people, you're bound to notice little things that you appreciate. You can acknowledge these things with a sincere compliment.

Doing something that makes you feel a little uncomfortable is a good way to promote your confidence and help you become a more outgoing version of yourself. If you have never danced before but want to take a ballet lesson, try it out. Do your best to fight the inner voice telling that you can’t do something or defining(定义)yourself by what you think you should be doing instead. With each little victory, you’ll gain the confidence to step further and further outside your comfort zone.

Don’t judge a book by its cover

“Don’t judge a book by its cover,” the old saying goes. Unfortunately, as a teenager, that is often exactly what you do to yourself. Dark thoughts about your physical appearance can hang over you all the time like a rain cloud. Do I look fat in these jeans? Do others think I am too short? What are the causes behind them?

Standards of beauty in the media can have a big influence on what you think of your physical appearance. Teens who try to copy the looks of their favourite stars are fighting a losing battle—these standards are simply impossible for most of the population to live up to. They will only end up feeling worse about themselves. Your friends also influence the way you view your physical appearance. If you have friends who are good-looking or have a great fashion sense, it can feel like you are living in their shadow.

These external influences are always present, but there are certainly ways to deal with them. First of all, be careful not to follow popular beauty standards blindly. They are out of reach for 99% of us, so it is better to just forget about them. Another tip is to remind yourself that you are unique. Everyone has their own talents—you may be good at painting or playing the piano, so take pride in things you do well instead of worrying about things you cannot change. Focusing on your strengths helps you build your confidence.

Finally, it is a good idea to try to direct your attention away from negative thoughts. To achieve this, you should do something you enjoy. Read a book you like, or take part in a social activity, like playing a ball game with your friends. These things can help you take your mind off matters that worry you and make you feel good about yourself.

If you can learn to see the good things about yourself—your individuality, your value to others, your achievements—you will soon begin to love yourself just the way you are.