Some people are naturally outgoing, but other people have to practice to become outgoing. If you want to become outgoing, there are several strategies(策略)that you can use. Being “outgoing” involves learning how to present yourself to others, starting conversations, and being more confident in yourself.

One of the easiest ways to present yourself is to ask your friends, colleagues, or classmates to introduce you to their friends. For example, if you walk into a room and your friend is talking to someone else, make it a point to say hello and introduce yourself. The next time you see that person, you can say hello and, since you have already been introduced, you have built a bridge into future communication.

When you’re in a social situation, such as at a party, try to make eye contact with the other people there with a friendly smile. If the other person responds or smiles back at you，then go over to them and introduce yourself. That is usually a good sign for a possible conversation. If the person does not respond, let them go their way. There’s a difference between being “outgoing” and “pushy”. Another practical way to start a conversation with others is to use compliments(赞美). When you’re attracted by certain people, you're bound to notice little things that you appreciate. You can acknowledge these things with a sincere compliment.

Doing something that makes you feel a little uncomfortable is a good way to promote your confidence and help you become a more outgoing version of yourself. If you have never danced before but want to take a ballet lesson, try it out. Do your best to fight the inner voice telling that you can’t do something or defining(定义)yourself by what you think you should be doing instead. With each little victory, you’ll gain the confidence to step further and further outside your comfort zone.

Don’t judge a book by its cover

“Don’t judge a book by its cover,” the old saying goes. Unfortunately, as a teenager, that is often exactly what you do to yourself. Dark thoughts about your physical appearance can hang over you all the time like a rain cloud. Do I look fat in these jeans? Do others think I am too short? What are the causes behind them?

Standards of beauty in the media can have a big influence on what you think of your physical appearance. Teens who try to copy the looks of their favourite stars are fighting a losing battle—these standards are simply impossible for most of the population to live up to. They will only end up feeling worse about themselves. Your friends also influence the way you view your physical appearance. If you have friends who are good-looking or have a great fashion sense, it can feel like you are living in their shadow.

These external influences are always present, but there are certainly ways to deal with them. First of all, be careful not to follow popular beauty standards blindly. They are out of reach for 99% of us, so it is better to just forget about them. Another tip is to remind yourself that you are unique. Everyone has their own talents—you may be good at painting or playing the piano, so take pride in things you do well instead of worrying about things you cannot change. Focusing on your strengths helps you build your confidence.

Finally, it is a good idea to try to direct your attention away from negative thoughts. To achieve this, you should do something you enjoy. Read a book you like, or take part in a social activity, like playing a ball game with your friends. These things can help you take your mind off matters that worry you and make you feel good about yourself.

If you can learn to see the good things about yourself—your individuality, your value to others, your achievements—you will soon begin to love yourself just the way you are.

A Chair for My Mother

My mother works as a waitress in the Blue Tile Diner. After school sometimes I go to meet her there. Then her boss Josephine gives me a job too. When I finish, Josephine says, “Good work, honey,” and pays me. And every time, I put half of my money into the jar (罐子).

It takes a long time to fill a jar this big. Every day when my mother comes home from work, I take down the jar. My mama empties all her change from tips for me to count. Then we push all of the coins into the jar.

Sometimes my mama is laughing when she comes home from work. Sometimes she’s so tired she falls asleep while I count the money. Some days she has lots of tips. Some days she has only a few. Then she looks worried. But each evening every single shiny coin goes into the jar.

We sit in the kitchen to count the tips. Usually Grandma sits with us too. Often she has money in her old wallet for us. Whenever she gets a good bargain (划算的交易) on tomatoes or bananas or something she buys, she puts by the savings and they go into the jar.

When we can’t get a single other coin into the jar, we are going to take out all the money and go and buy a chair. Yes, a chair. A wonderful, beautiful, fat, soft armchair for Mama and Grandma. When Mama comes home, her feet hurt. “There’s no good place for me to rest my feet,” she says. When Grandma wants to sit back and cut up potatoes, she has to get as comfortable as she can on a hard kitchen chair.

So that is how come Mama brought home the biggest jar she could find and all the coins started to go into the jar.

Now the jar is too heavy for me to lift down.

Finally we find the chair we are all dreaming of.