Supporting Others
We’re always being told that the secret to happiness lies in helping others. Indeed, it’s natural to want to support those we care about, especially if we are in a position to do so.
When we offer support, it may not always be wanted.
Try to be mindful of offering support that is disabling, rather than enabling. My son, when aged five, wanted to make a cup of tea. I could see how inspiring it was for him to be able to do this. So I filled the kettle and took him through the safety measures. It felt like a huge risk but it worked. His pleasure was immeasurable. The same principle applies when we offer support that increases someone else’s capacity.
Sometimes the only support that’s needed is to listen without judgement.
Support often works best when it’s a two-way process. It is good to know how to accept help from others as well as offer support to them.
| A．Here are the pros and cons of supporting others. |
| B．Just be there, while someone lets out their feelings. |
| C．Ask what support is needed and provide a practical one. |
| D．This can often be a bigger gift than just doing it for them. |
| E．But we can do more by thinking about the support we offer. |
| F．Because being judgmental can only make someone annoyed. |
| G．Sometimes people are trying to manage life in their own way. |
相似题推荐
【推荐1】Failure is probably the most exhausting experience a person ever has. There is nothing more tiring than not succeeding.
We experience this tiredness in two ways: as start-up fatigue (疲惫) and performance fatigue. In the former case, we keep putting off a task because it has either too boring or too difficult. And the longer we delay it, the more tired we feel.
Such start-up fatigue is very real, even if not actually physical, not something in our muscles and bones. The solution is obvious though perhaps not easy to apply: always handle the most difficult job first.
Years ago, I was asked to write 102 essays on the great ideas of some famous authors. Applying my own rule, I determined to write them in alphabetical order, never letting myself leave out a tough idea. And I always started the day’s work with the difficult task of essay-writing. Experience proved that the rule works.
Performance fatigue is more difficult to handle. Though willing to get started, we cannot seem to do the job right. Its difficulties appear so great that, however hard we work, we fail again and again. In such a situation, I work as hard as I can—then let the unconscious take over.
When planning Encyclopedia Britannica( 《大英百科全书》), I had to create a table of contents based on the topics of its articles. Nothing like this had ever been done before, and day after day I kept coming up with solutions, but none of them worked. My fatigue became almost unbearable.
One day, mentally exhausted, I wrote down all the reasons why this problem could not be solved. I tried to convince myself that the trouble was with the problem itself, not with me. Relived, I sat back in an easy chair and fell asleep.
An hour later, I woke up suddenly with the solution clearly in mind. In the weeks that followed, the solution which had come up in my unconscious mind proved correct at every step. Though I worked as hard as before, I felt no fatigue. Success was now as exciting as failure had been depressing.
Human beings, I believe, must try to succeed. Success, then, means never feeling tired.
1. People with start-up fatigue are most likely to .| A．work hard |
| B．delay tasks |
| C．seek help |
| D．accept failure |
| A．Before starting a difficult task. |
| B．After finding a way out. |
| C．If the job is rather boring. |
| D．When all the solutions fail. |
| A．find the right solution |
| B．get some nice sleep |
| C．gain complete relief |
| D．ignore mental problems |
| A．Success Is Built upon Failure |
| B．How to Handle Performance Fatigue |
| C．Getting over Fatigue: A Way to Success |
| D．Fatigue: An Early Sign of Health Problems |
【推荐2】I’ve been in poor health this year, and it got me thinking: What if I can’t be with my daughter? Who is going to help her along life’s journey? Life is so long and she is so little. I can’t offer her all the answers because I am still learning every day myself. But I still have two lessons to make her know before I leave her.
The first is that we can’t control other people’s behavior but we can control how we react to it. There are always some disputes (纷争) in our life, where we may feel angry and lose our minds to say something. Can you imagine how different the world would be if every person took a step back, and didn’t automatically react to something? Instead of mirroring some bad behaviors, we should choose to behave in a way that befits our values, or a way that’s more thought through.
It’s not always easy to think wisely about something on the spur of the moment. However, afterwards when we still feel angry at something that someone said or did, we can choose how we want it to affect us. We can choose our behavior.
The second is that we should be grateful each day. Try to find the joy in the small things. Have fun now. Easier said than done, but practice helps. When I’m feeling sad, I try to drag myself out of it by being grateful for small things. I will feel grateful that the traffic lights are all green and give me a clear run. I will feel grateful that it doesn’t rain when I’m pushing the baby carrier into town. Acknowledging the small things can help lift my mood.
We should remember that we still have dreams and things we would like to have and that nothing can stop us from being grateful for what we have now and trying to find happiness now.
I hope my dear daughter can remember the two lessons whether I will be around her or not and lead a happy life.
1. Why does the author decide to write the article?| A．She has two valuable lessons to share with the readers. |
| B．She is a devoted mother who is expert at guiding people. |
| C．She hopes to offer advice to her daughter on dealing with life. |
| D．Her daughter is too young to understand her. |
| A．It’s easy to lose our temper in our life. |
| B．Everybody should take a step back. |
| C．We should think twice before our action. |
| D．We should react properly to others. |
| A．When something suddenly happens. |
| B．When somebody takes a step back. |
| C．When something has been done before. |
| D．When somebody has done it in advance. |
| A．show the importance of small things |
| B．show the things that she likes |
| C．prove that they are worth thanks |
| D．prove that being thankful can make her happy |
| A．Desperate, concerned and patient. |
| B．Hard-working, thoughtful and pessimistic. |
| C．Pessimistic, calm and grateful. |
| D．Concerned, wise and grateful. |
【推荐3】Negative thinking is the easiest way to slow down your business and personal goals. But how do you get rid of negative thoughts? We asked members of the Forbes Coaches Council for advice. The views varied widely, but they all had one idea in common：
Do you want to catch a cold? Get around people with a cold. I am not sure whether the advice still stands, but it certainly means something to me when coaching others. I see a lot of people associating with like—minded and often negative people when they are trying to change something in their lives, like a job. Negative people are not optimistic. Get around positivity physically, through your ears and eyes.
Don’t expect everything to be perfect.
Expecting everything to be perfect can be disturbing and robs you of true happiness.
Become intentional about your attitude.
| A．You are in control. |
| B．Get around positive people. |
| C．Assuming a positive attitude is an intentional action. |
| D．Change your attitudes whenever it is possible. |
| E．Make sure your vision of success is rooted in reality. |
| F．The trick is not to get caught up in your negative thoughts. |
| G．The more you practice positive mind—shifts, the easier it becomes. |
【推荐1】On a recent afternoon, some 60 years after they graduated from grammar school, Kathleen Rys, 72, and her sister Lorraine O'Kelly, 70, sat down and had a meal with a classmate, Bruce Smit, 71, for the first time.
In the 1950s, Lorraine and Kathleen Rys' family moved from Chicago to Monee. As new kids at Monee Elementary School, they soon found themselves on the outs with other students.
"I would be with the other guys and see Kathleen walking down the hallway, her head down, holding her books, walking slowly. And all of us guys would be flat against the wall until she passed. Then we'd burst into laughter. How rude is that? It's just crazy." said Smit, a doctor whose wife, Tammy, organized the meeting.
The women said none of the teachers cared about it. "We just kept it to ourselves. " Lorraine said.
Over the years, Tammy Smit said, "Bruce would just start to cry at times. He'd wonder what happened to the sisters, if they landed OK." One day a few weeks ago, Tammy took to the internet and found Mary O'Kelly, Lorraine's daughter, and offered to set up a meeting. The idea of revisiting the pain was not well- received by Kathleen, who had never married, let alone gone on a date. It took some convincing, but Lorraine finally got Kathleen to agree to meet with Bruce.
Bruce broke into tears. "I'm so ashamed, so embarrassed," he said. "But I'm so happy you're still here and that I can finally apologize. " He said he hopes his apology will encourage others to seek forgiveness for the pain they make on others. Lorraine said, "This is a beautiful thing. It's just wonderful that a person from 60 years ago can ask for forgiveness. It's like a miracle to us. It's a healing to us."
1. What can we learn from the first three paragraphs?| A．Kathleen made her classmates afraid of her at school. |
| B．Kathleen was once hurt by her classmates at school. |
| C．Bruce Smit asked his wife to organize the meeting. |
| D．Bruce Smit spoke ill of Kathleen. |
| A．The guys’ meeting. |
| B．Kathleen’s slow pace. |
| C．The guys’ apology. |
| D．Kathleen’s suffering. |
| A．Angry. |
| B．Excited. |
| C．Anxious. |
| D．Unwilling. |
| A．Bruce was embarrassed for his apology. |
| B．The other guys apologized to the two sisters. |
| C．Bruce and the two sisters felt a sense of relief. |
| D．Lorraine thought the apology came a little late. |
【推荐2】Perhaps you know two people would get on well—if only they would speak to each other. Your shy friends aren’t intentionally avoiding one another; it is just not in their nature to strike up a conversation. You can help things along by greasing (润滑) the wheels of social interaction.
Make Introductions
The first step to getting two shy people to talk to one another is to offer an introduction.
Ease Anxiety
Find Mutual Interests
Give your shy friends a reason to talk. Figure out what they have in common and let them know about it. For example, if Josh and David are both into watching the UFC, make an introduction and a comment about the latest fight.
Get Active
Shy people have trouble living in the moment. They tend to think about past weaknesses or worry about future social obstacles rather than focus on the current situation. Put your shy friends in a situation that forces them to stop thinking so much and have a little fun. Ideally, your shy acquaintances should have to work together to overcome an obstacle—similar to what happens at company party.
| A．Some shy people are their own worst critics. |
| B．Most shy people are hesitant to offer a handshake or a name. |
| C．You might need to include yourself in the conversation at first. |
| D．Don’t worry that your shy friends will feel that you are interfering. |
| E．Promote the conversation by easing the anxiety shared by your shy friends. |
| F．They will come away with a shared experience and hopefully a tighter bond. |
| G．Getting to know the likes and dislikes of your shy friends will make this easier. |
【推荐3】You are certain to enjoy chatting to your friends.
What Are Your Best Childhood Memories?
Ask your friends to find out what stands out as their most impressive memory from their childhood: watching the same cartoons on Saturday mornings, playing with the same types of toys, or winning a school spelling competition?
Where Should We Hang Out Next?
Come to an agreement on what to do that will be fun for everyone. Ask your friends for their activity ideas and give your own.
What Does Your Future Hold?
Ask your friends about their plans after high school graduation, Let them discuss whether they want to go to college, or go to work directly.
What’s Your Riskiest Experience?
| A．Create a list of all the suggestions. |
| B．Everybody can talk about the classes. |
| C．Share your own most enjoyable ones with them. |
| D．Discuss new music and movies that you find interesting. |
| E．Unusual experiences can be the topic for exciting conversations. |
| F．However, after you know everything about them, your conversations may get boring. |
| G．If they are in college, ask them what influences helped them decide on their job choices. |
True friends are people who like us though we made mistakes and who listen to us and tell us the truth. Friends support our decisions and tell us when we’re foolish. They laugh with us and share our sadness. They are our partners and share interests with us. They stimulate us when we are feeling down. They are people we aren’t afraid of telling our secret wishes to or what is really on our minds.
Friends are our supporters. When you can depend on friends, you feel safe and warm. Friends offer acceptance and emotional(情感的)support. At times, they also help with our everyday lives, cooking a meal, doing chores, or giving us a lift when we need one. Friends also are there to offer advice, an ear to listen, or a shoulder to cry on.
Friends also help us reduce stress. Not only do they listen to us when we feel stressed, but they also discuss what is stressing us. Sharing interests and doing activities with friends help us forget about problems at work or at home. For a short time, we can lose ourselves in a pleasant activity and perhaps laugh and breathe more easily.
1. What is the best title for the passage?
| A．How to Reduce Stress |
| B．How to Make New Friends |
| C．The Importance of Friends |
| D．The Qualities of Good Friends |
| A．educate | B．encourage |
| C．surprise | D．dislike |
| A．laugh at us when we’re foolish |
| B．tell us other people’s secrets |
| C．share our sadness and interests |
| D．support us when we need help |
| A．people should make friends anytime |
| B．friends are people who allow you to cry |
| C．a friend helps you in many ways |
| D．good friends are always difficult to meet |
Starting high school is an important event in a young person’s life. To make friends on your first day of high school, firstly, you should try to make a good first impression. So take care what you say and how you say it. Don’t be loud and remember people’s names when they introduce themselves. Be friendly and keep smiling because people are much more likely to talk to someone who is smiling and appears confident.
Secondly, don’t do anything you aren’t comfortable with doing just in order to fit in with a person or crowd. You want people to like you for being yourself, and giving a false impression can lead to embarrassment (尴尬) later. Take the time to introduce yourself to people that you think may have similar interests to yours.
Thirdly, you can start a conversation with people about the school layout (布局). Ask how you can get to your classroom or dormitory, and most people will want to be helpful and may walk you to it, giving you chance to get to know them better.
Fourthly, consider taking part in after-class activities that you are interested in, such as sports, band and drama club. High school will have a much wider choice of after-class activities than you were used to in middle school.
Last but not least, give it time. Making good friends will take time especially as you have a new school routine to get used to as well. Do not rush into getting to know people. After all, there is a good chance that the friends you make in the first weeks of high school will be with you through the rest of your school life.
| Topic | |
| Making a good first impression | ● Being careful of your words and your ● Trying to remember people’s names ● Trying to look confident by |
| Being yourself | ● Not doing what you are ● Introducing yourself patiently to those with interests |
| Starting a conversation with people | ● Asking about the school layout ● Asking |
in activities | ● Taking part in after-class activities that ● Having a much wider choice of after-class activities in high school |
| Giving it time | ● Being ● Not being in a |
【推荐3】If you feel at present that you don’t have enough friends in your life, one reason may be that you have let yourself become too busy to make time for the relationships you already have. Starting and keeping friendship require effort and commitment (责任、义务、承诺).
Many of us let our lives become so busy with work and other commitments that we don’t get around to scheduling time for pleasure and renewal (叙旧) with the friends, relatives and acquaintances we already have.
Making the effort to call your friends more regularly and to accept more of the invitations you receive from others can improve your social life in a hurry!
Are there any people you could call right now and be assured of a pleasant welcome? Are there people that you could depend on to help you in time of difficulty? Can you have close talks with them? Do you have fun when you are together? Are you happy to have them in your life?
If you haven’t seen much of them lately, is it because you have become too busy? Have you grown apart? Was there an argument?
If the main reason you haven’t been getting together with the people you already know is that you have gotten too busy, take a good look at how you spend your time. Compare it with your real values and priorities (优先考虑的事) in life. Is your busy lifestyle really bringing you the quality of life that you want?
If you have become too busy for friends, why has this happened? Are you seeking material joys in your life at the expense of relationships with other human beings? Have you allowed your time to be over-committed because you never say ‘‘No” to anyone? Do you insist on doing things yourself that could be delegated to others? If so, why? Do you believe that everything depends on you?
Examine whether the way you are now spending your time exactly reflects your deepest values and priorities. Make sure that you schedule enough time for the things that are truly most important to you.
If you really want to keep friends in your life, make a space in your schedule, and a space in your heart for them.
1. In this passage the author mainly discusses ______.| A．how to balance friendship and work |
| B．how to spend our spare time |
| C．whether we should keep friendship |
| D．whether we should invite friends to dinner |
| A．appointed (分派) | B．replaced | C．reduced | D．handled |
| A．you spend too much time seeking material joys in your life |
| B．you feel it difficult to keep friendship |
| C．you stick to doing everything all by yourself |
| D．you never refuse whatever other people ask you to do |
| A．Too busy for Friendship? | B．Too busy with work? |
| C．How to Spend Your Time | D．How to Make New Friends |
