【推荐1】Tips for choosing the right college

It’s probably one of the most important decisions you’ll make in your life, but choosing a college can be so confusing.     1     Here are a few important dos and don’ts to remember.

When choosing a college, always take time to think things over. Make sure you do a lot of research on any college you are considering. Take advantage of any open houses a college offers and try to take a campus tour, if you can. Make it a point to see as much of a college as possible.     2     That way you can get the feel of a typical day. If you can’t arrange any of these things, try to purchase or borrow videos of the college.

    3     You may be comfortable far away or you may only want to be a couple hours’ drive from home. And make sure you choose one that suits your personality. If you want to be involved in lots of activities, choose one that has plenty to choose from.

When choosing a school, there are some things you don’t want to influence your decision.     4     They may have totally different needs when it comes to education. Make sure you choose a college because you want to go there — and not because your parents want you to.     5     Don’t rush your decision even if it seems everyone else knows where they want to go. Don’t be afraid or embarrassed to ask questions or request additional information.

The most important thing to remember when choosing the ideal college is to pick one you are comfortable with. It is your future — and no one else’s.

Here’s something that’s been bothering me recently. My daughter will be five years old. She is happy, well-mannered, loving and pretty. She has attended a Montessori school since she was 16 months old and has made two friends. The three girls are always together, or talking with each other.

But recently the girls told my daughter that they would not play with her if she kept playing with the boy who was disliked by most of the class. My daughter always finds good things in others and insisted they play with him, too. Then one of the friends told my daughter she didn’t have straight hair and shouldn’t play with them. Then she started ignoring my daughter. My mother-in-law decided to iron my girl’s beautiful curly hair (卷发).

With her birthday coming, my child decided to invite her friends to her party. When I asked her why, she said because they were always together, but I know one of the girls will not attend her party.

I’m concerned about her. I feel lost, not knowing how to help my child.

Jenny

It’s always painful to a mother when someone hurts her child. Your daughter’s friends weren’t nice to her, but little kids are still learning how to get along with others. As a result, young friendships are often fleeting, even changing from day to day. Judging from you letter, your daughter seems to be remarkably loving, outgoing and mature (成熟的) beyond her years. Perhaps you need to be proud of the way she treats people.

Ironing your daughter’s hair won't send your daughter or the other girls a good message. It implies that there is something wrong with the way she is. You have no choice but to let your daughter know that one of the girls won’t be attending her birthday party. If she seems upset, remind her that other friends will be there. My guess is that she will rise to the occasion.

Hope this helps.

Mark

【推荐3】How To Deal With A Bully

Bullying is when someone misuses his authority( 权威) or power inside a relationship.    1    This behavior can cause physical and emotional harm on others and often leaves the victim feeling helpless.

It is never easy to deal with all the unwanted bullying even when you have done nothing wrong.    2    Here are some helpful ways to deal with a bully when you get bullied.

Ask Them To Stop

    3    Sometimes when we do not speak up for ourselves, the bullies continue with their behavior thinking of us as easy targets. Telling them to stop in a firm and confident voice can make them reconsider their actions. This will work only if they have not yet established a pattern of bullying you. It is important to keep in mind that you are trying to de-escalate(弱化) the situation.

    4    

Bullies usually hunt for people who are alone or have isolated themselves from their surroundings. If you are with your friends, or if you are in the company of someone, it is least likely that the bully will disturb you. We are not asking you to make a huge circle of friends, but sometimes all it takes is one loyal friend who will stay by you no matter what.

Ignore Them

Another effective measure to ignore a bully is by ignoring them. They think of it as a game, and when they get an emotional response from you, it satisfies their ego.     5    So if they get nothing, they will stop bothering you because they will know you are not an easy one to attack.