A patient and I are working on an eating disorder, trying to find out the cause. It turned out to be a relationship break-up in high school. The unpleasant experience led to not eating for a couple of weeks. Then comes a compliment (赞美) from a friend that totally has the opposite effect. “Wow, you look great!” Suddenly, this praise inspires an inner thought: “Oh, people care more about me if I lose weight. So I can control people’s affection by not eating.”
Consider busy parents who don’t notice their child until a good grade appears. In the absence of attention and connection, a sudden strong expression of well-intended praise can bring about the thought, “Wow, my grades make me valuable. I’m noticed when I achieve!” The result can be a twisted view of self-value and an anxiety around grades, exams, and performance. A similar situation occurs with athletic success or high praise for being “nice”. The result is a false mindset: “My worth is totally tied to this desirable behavior.”
So what’s a better way? One answer is to exit the game of “right and wrong” and enter a focus on what needs are present. Returning to our example above, when you see someone has lost weight and you want to give them a compliment, just pause and simply ask, “How are you doing?” See them and hear them. Appreciate them as a person of great value. There may be much more to their inner world than meets the eye.
Similarly, when you see someone’s success, appreciate the hard work they put into it. Ask with gentle curiosity, “How’s it been for you?” Listening with full attention can be a rare gift in today’s world. See if you can understand them from the bigger frame of what they’ve experienced, how they’re feeling, and what they’re needing now.
1. What can we learn from paragraph 2?A.It’s parents duty to care for their children. |
B.A strong expression of praise should be prevented. |
C.Well-intended praise can result in unwanted results. |
D.Praise from parents encourages kids to work harder. |
A.It is not favored. | B.It makes people proud. |
C.It underestimates human value. | D.It fails to cheer people up. |
A.It’s so kind of you to help me with my work! |
B.I appreciate your great efforts to get there! |
C.You always perform best among us! |
D.You look young for your age! |
A.Doubtful. | B.Unclear. | C.Indifferent. | D.Approving. |
相似题推荐
【推荐1】A fear of talking is usually struck in a specific kind of situation.
Overcoming a fear of talking in social settings can be one of the most difficult.
Many people are afraid of talking on the phone. To overcome it, one can write out a script beforehand and read it when speaking on the phone.
Given the social nature of speech, a fear of talking is often related to general social anxiety. A person afraid of speaking in public might also fear to dance in public. When social anxiety is so overwhelming that a person cannot interact with other people, professional help may be required.
A.Know who you are before talking. |
B.This problem can arise for a number of reasons. |
C.Some people are entirely speechless due to this fear. |
D.Overcoming a fear of talking is not too hard to achieve. |
E.The fear of talking in front of groups affects one's social status. |
F.If possible, outlining several answers to probable questions is also valuable. |
G.Certain medications and many other strategies can provide relief from social anxiety. |
【推荐2】The “best years of your life”? Maybe not, but you can learn to make the most of your high school days.
Learn to appreciate small things. Whether it's having a computer, having friends, having a good supply of food, a bed to sleep on, family that loves you, having a good education or simply being born in this world.
Be sociable.
A.You can pursue interests you enjoy. |
B.A friend in need is a friend indeed . |
C.Choose your friends wisely. |
D.Participating in clubs, activities, and sports increases your chances of meeting new friends. |
E.In fact, many of the “friends” you have when you are popular are not true friends. |
F.Being confident in your appearance makes you more confident in other areas. |
G.Remember that the point of life is for you to enjoy it. |
【推荐3】Travel allows us to experience the world. But as we travel, we are also leaving our footprint on every place we visit. This is why culturally immersive (沉浸) travel is so important. Because the wrong kind of travel badly influences the world. One of the reasons we started this blog was to help others travel better and feel comfortable getting off the beaten path (常规路), communicating with locals, and take you “Beyond the traditional Bucket”, if you will.
People who only get 2-weeks off per year are often just looking for an easy destination with a beach to relax on. This isn’t travel. This is a vacation. But “immersive Travel” or "Cultural Travel" is an entirely new type of trip. It is about experiencing and protecting the various traditions around the world. It’s about being open to new experiences and willing to step into another’s shoes. Cultural travel is jumping in with both feet and leaving your idea about what your trip should be behind you. It’s eating local dishes and sleeping in guesthouses. It’s building genuine connections with locals. It’s learning about the history of a country and leaving your trip with a greater understanding of the place you came to see and the people who live there.
Often times in today’s age, “travelers” will visit a country just to snap some photos of the famous sights to post on Instagram or to drink the night away, or even just to relax on a tropical beach. But that kind of vacation can be harmful to the very communities you’re traveling to.
Beyond supporting the local communities and the protection of local customs and traditions, you’ll also experience some personal benefits through cultural travels. There’s simply no way to travel this way with a closed mind. You’ll get to know different cultures intimately and understand them a lot better. You’ll also become less judgmental (评头论足的) of others the more you travel.
1. What’s the author’s purpose in writing the first paragraph?A.To describe the importance of cultural travel. | B.To stress the harmful influence of travel. |
C.To recommend a totally different type of travel. | D.To express his unique feelings about cultural travel. |
A.build close connections with the locals during the travel. |
B.show more interest in the history of a travel destination. |
C.post the photos taken in the journey on the social media. |
D.choose a tourist attraction for adventure and exploration. |
A.It is concentrated on studying local people’s lifestyle. |
B.Its major focus is protecting local traditions and customs. |
C.Its travelers should be open-minded and understanding. |
D.It is a specific way to make comments on other cultures. |
A.A travel brochure. | B.A blog post. |
C.A historic magazine. | D.An encyclopedia website. |
Jetting off to exotic destinations such as the Maldives cuts your blood pressure, helps you sleep better and bounce back from stress, it found. The benefits last at least a fortnight longer than the vacation and can be felt for months in some cases where it is claimed. Experts say workers should always take their full holiday entitlement each year --- as many as one in three don’t --- to get the benefits.
The study compared key health markers in holidaymakers visiting Thailand, Peru or the Maldives, with people who stayed at home and continued working. The average blood pressure of those on holiday dropped by six percent while the workers saw their blood pressure rise by two percent over the same period. The sleep quality of holidaymakers improved by 17 percent while that of the non-holidaymakers deteriorated by 14 percent.
The study also found the ability of vacationers to recover from stress --- known as the stress-resilience test --- improved by 29 percent. There was a 71 percent fall in stress resilience scores among workers. Tests showed a fall in blood glucose levels, reducing the risk of diabetes, trimmer waistlines and enhanced mood and energy levels, with the effects sustained for at least two weeks after returning home.
The Holiday Health Experiment was conducted by tour operator Kuoni and Nuffield Health, the UK’s largest healthcare charity.
1. According to the passage, how many people go on holiday?
A.One third. | B.Two thirds. |
C.17 percent. | D.A quarter. |
A.The further you go, the better the benefits. |
B.Most people like to stay at home during the holiday. |
C.Holiday makers are more adaptable than non-holidaymakers. |
D.The result of the study is mostly based on the description from the people involved. |
A.we have to go on holiday as much as possible |
B.you’ll certainly get depressed if you don’t go on holiday |
C.it is best to go to foreign countries like Maldives |
D.we had better go on holiday for the benefit of health |
A.Health Benefits from Holiday |
B.A Holiday Health Experiment |
C.Health Problems of Having Holiday |
D.Key Health Markers in Holidaymakers |
【推荐2】Have you ever been in mid-conversation with someone, when you look over and find them standing in the same position as you or holding the same facial expression? It may seem like they have consciously(有意识地) copied you, but it is much more likely that it is the chameleon(变色龙) effect at play.
The chameleon effect is the unconscious imitation(模仿) of another person’s gestures or behaviour. Just as a chameleon attempts to match any environment’s colours, people acquire the behaviour of others to bring them closer together and help make their interactions smooth.
The chameleon effect was confirmed in an experiment by psychologists John Bargh and Tanya Chartran d in 1999. The first part of their experiment included 78 people, who each spoke with an experimenter. During the test, Bargh and Chartrand studied whether participants would copy the actions of someone they hadn’t met before, like moving the foot and touching the face. The second part measured the impact that copying someone has on the person being imitated.
In the first stage, participants increased their face touching by 20% and their foot movement by 50% while in conversation about a photograph with the experimenter. The individuals weren’t aware of what they were being studied for, and the photograph was used to catch their attention to ensure unconscious acts. The second stage involved half of the participants being copied, and then determining the likeability of the experimenter. The results showed that those who were imitated scored the experimenter higher. It has shown that when someone copies our behaviour, we develop more positive feelings about them. These interactions could be a person unconsciously willing to be liked, and forming a moment of connection.
The main reasons behind humans’ imitation are positive. However, when people carry this chameleon effect to the extreme, they can lose their sense of self. Those who change their entire personalities in different groups often go unnoticed. But more common signs of the chameleon effect are easier to notice. Next time you are in a social gathering, take a look around and you might just see some chameleons for yourself.
1. Why do people acquire others’ behavior?A.To grab others’ attention. | B.To build a bond with others. |
C.To adjust to the surroundings. | D.To match the environment’s colour. |
A.By hiding a camera from them. |
B.By keeping a close eye on their actions. |
C.By distracting their attention from a photo. |
D.By directing their attention to a photo. |
A.Too much of the chameleon effect can be positive. |
B.People imitating others are not easy to be observed. |
C.People tend to appreciate others imitating their behavior. |
D.The copied movements help people to feel less anxious. |
A.A comedian copies a celebrity vividly on stage. |
B.Close friends share similar behaviors over time. |
C.Students adopt teachers’ accents for fun in secret. |
D.People change their habits to cheer up others on purpose. |
【推荐3】For a long time, comedy has been referred to as a profession for men only. But this has changed in recent years. Many female comics have made themselves outstanding on the stage not by ignoring the issues of gender (性别) inequality, but by bringing them to light.
Yang Li, 28, a stand-up comedy for about three years, focuses on the difficulties females face. For example, recently she bitingly joked about how women are represented in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. “In the film, The Avengers, there are six heroes, and only one of them is a woman, whose superpower is the ability to slow down her aging. How exactly can she be designed to save the world by surviving until all the bad guys die?” she said.
Despite getting more important roles, women still face challenges in the comedy industry. “I’ve found that the audience tend to be more judgmental about a female comedian’s appearance,” said Yang Mengqi, an outstanding comic. To avoid unwelcome attention, female comics have to be especially smart in choosing what clothes they wear to perform.
The other challenge is that females are sometimes taken less seriously, despite plenty of evidence of their talent and dedication in the field with males in the majority. Maple Zuo is a comic who performs in both English and Mandarin. “It’s hard to fit in when I’m the only female comedian at a show.” said Zuo, who has toured internationally. “Every time there’s a comedy scene party, they are naturally divided up into two groups: one for the male comics, the other for their girlfriends, she said. “I always end up hanging out with the girlfriends.”
Even so, many Chinese female comics feel optimistic about their future. Yang said, “When people ask what has motivated me to stick with stand-up comedy, my response is simple: I hope to use whatever influence I have to improve gender equality.”
1. Why did Yang Li joke about the role of the woman hero in The Avengers?A.The woman hero is less brave than male heroes. |
B.The woman hero has the power to defend the world. |
C.There is only one woman surviving in the world. |
D.The role shows the negative image about women. |
A.They are particular about clothing. | B.They are not always valued. |
C.They have a talent for acting. | D.They are often treated critically. |
A.Confused. | B.Content. | C.Disturbed. | D.Hopeful. |
A.To introduce the development of the comedy industry |
B.To comment on the roles women comics play. |
C.To present the challenges that female comics face. |
D.To argue for the achievements of female comics. |