Jeremy Hampden has a large circle of friends and is very popular at parties. Everybody admires him for his great sense of humor — everybody, that is, except his six-year-old daughter, Jenny. Recently, one of Jeremy’s closest friends asked him to make a speech at a wedding reception. This is the sort of thing that Jeremy loves. He prepared the speech carefully and went to the wedding with Jenny. He had included a large number of funny stories in the speech and, of course, it was a great success. But as soon as he had finished, Jenny said to him, “Daddy, I don’t want to stay here any longer, even one more minute! Daddy, let’s go home.” Jeremy was a little disappointed by this but he did as his daughter asked.

On the way home, there was a long silence between them.

Yours sincerely,

Li Hua

3 . When children do something wrong, parents expect an apology (道歉). Children often try to read their parents’ mind or butter up (奉承) their parents by saying, “I’m sorry.” Even though they did not do anything wrong, they will act in that way because they are scared to make their parents angry. Children always look timid (胆小的) because they have been anxious or nervous about being punished by parents.

When parents force them to apologize, they will lose the opportunity to think by themselves why they should apologize or what was wrong. So, how can we make them understand properly what was wrong?

If parents never give children a chance and say something like, “That’ s not good” or “Say   you’re sorry”, children cannot learn to reflect their behavior. So, the first thing that parents should do is listening to their children, asking questions such as what happened, why they did it. Once children have their parents’ attention and feel at ease, they can easily accept their parents’ words.

Children do not have enough skills to tell good or bad things, therefore, it is necessary for   parents to teach them what was wrong. When parents explain what was wrong to children, short   and simple words should be used as much as possible. Moreover, it would be more effective to tell children what kind of behavior makes parents feel a certain way. For example, it would be good to express mom’s feelings with something like “When you hit me, mommy will get hurt.” “When you call me stupid, I feel sad.”

In this way, children can understand that they hurt mom or they make her sad, therefore, they will become able to apologize naturally. That would be more understandable for children why their behavior was wrong than being scolded by parents something like “Hitting is not good!” “You cannot say stupid to someone else.”

Many people believe that children are too young to understand what parents say, however, children actually can understand parents’ feelings if parents use simple words and speak calmly. Parents should avoid speaking one-sidedly and always try to listen to children. Talking to each other would be the best way.

It can be a big headache to balance your developing     1     (精神需求) too. You enter a strange middle ground — no longer a small child but not quite an adult. You have both a new desire for independence and a continued need for your parents’ love and support. You feel ready to be more responsible and make decisions    2     (自行). Unfortunately, your parents do not always agree and that makes you feel unhappy. “Why can’t they just let me go?” you may wonder.    3     (另一方面), when you are struggling to control your feelings, you wish they could be more caring and patient — sometimes they forget that growing up is     4     (一段艰难的旅程). It can be difficult when your parents treat you like a child but expect you to     5     (行事) an adult. All of this can lead to a breakdown in your relationship.

Although sometimes it may seem impossible to get along as a family, you can     6     (采取措施) to improve the situation. The key to keeping the peace is     7     (定期和诚实的沟通). When you disagree with your parents, take a minute to calm down and try to understand the situation     8     (从他们的角度). Perhaps they have experienced something similar and do not want you to go through the same pain.

After you have thought it through, explain your actions and feelings calmly, listen carefully, and     9     (解决他们的担忧). Through this kind of healthy discussion, you will learn when to     10     (退缩) and when to ask your parents to relax their control.