6 . Thanks to in-depth reporting by the Wall Street Journal, we now know that Facebook has long been aware its product Instagram has harmful effects on the mental health of many adolescent users. Young girls, in particular, struggle with their body image thanks to a constant stream of photos and videos showing beautiful bodies that users don’t think they can attain.

While the information the Journal covered is essential and instructive, it does not tell the whole story. Deep down, this is not an Instagram problem; it’s a people problem. Understanding that distinction can make the difference between a failed attempt to contain a teen’s interest in an addictive app and successfully addressing the underlying problem leading to mental distress induced (诱发) by Instagram.

Critics were quick to shame Facebook for sitting on the data and not releasing it to researchers or academics who asked for it. Others criticize the social media giant for not using the research to create a safer experience for its teen users. The anger, while understandable, is misplaced.

While I’m reluctant to defend Facebook, I’m not sure it’s reasonable to blame the company for withholding data that would hurt its business. Have you ever binge-watched (狂看) a Netflix series? I assure you it wasn’t a healthy endeavor. You were in active, likely did nothing productive, mindlessly snacked and didn’t go outside for fresh air. It is an objectively harmful use of time to stare at a TV or laptop for a full weekend. Should we respond by shaming Netflix for not alerting us to how damaging an addictive product can be?

While it’s reasonable to say Instagram makes esteem issues worse, it strains credulity (夸张到难以置信) to believe it causes them in the first place. You create your own experiences on social media. For the most part, you choose which accounts to follow and engage. If you’re already vulnerable to insecurities and self-sabotage (自损) — as many teens are — you will find accounts to obsess over. And this isn’t a new phenomenon.

Before social media, there were similar issues fueling self-esteem issues. Whether the target be magazines, movies or television shows depicting difficult-to-attain bodies, there has been a relatively steady chorus (异口同声) of experts nothing the damage new media could cause young viewers.

Self-esteem issues have an underlying cause — one that’s independent of social media use. Instagram merely enhances those feelings because it provides infinitely more access to triggers than older forms of media. It’s more worthwhile to address those underlying factors rather than to attack Facebook.

Friendship

To help us understand what friendship really means, we need to review some classical views of friendship. According to Aristotle, we may find three kinds of friendship:

Friendship based on utility. Utility is an impermanent thing: it changes according to circumstances. When the ground for friendship disappears, the friendship also breaks up. Friendships of this kind seem to occur most frequently between the elderly, because at their age what they want is not pleasure but utility Friendships based on utility are also frequently found among those in middle or early life who are pursuing their own advantage. Such persons do not spend much time together, because sometimes they do not even like one another, and therefore feel no need of such an association unless they are mutually useful. They take pleasure in each other’s company only in so far as they have hopes of advantage from it.

Friendship based on pleasure. Friendship between the young is thought to be grounded on pleasure, because the lives of the young are regulated by their feelings, and their chief interests are in their own pleasure and the opportunity of the moment. As they grow up, however, their tastes change too, so that they are quick to make and to break friendships. That is why they fall in and out of friendship quickly, changing their attitude often, even within the same day.

Friendship based on goodness. Perfect friendship is based on goodness. Only the friendship of those who are good, and similar in their goodness, is perfect. The conduct of good men is the same or similar. It is between good men that both love and friendship are chiefly found and in the highest form. Such friendships are rare and they need time and intimacy; for as the saying goes, true friends must go through trials and tribulations (患难) together. And no two persons can accept each other and become friends until each has proved to the other that he is worthy of love. and so won his trust. The wish for friendship may develop rapidly, but true friendship does not.

Some people are naturally outgoing, but other people have to practice to become outgoing. If you want to become outgoing, there are several strategies(策略)that you can use. Being “outgoing” involves learning how to present yourself to others, starting conversations, and being more confident in yourself.

One of the easiest ways to present yourself is to ask your friends, colleagues, or classmates to introduce you to their friends. For example, if you walk into a room and your friend is talking to someone else, make it a point to say hello and introduce yourself. The next time you see that person, you can say hello and, since you have already been introduced, you have built a bridge into future communication.

When you’re in a social situation, such as at a party, try to make eye contact with the other people there with a friendly smile. If the other person responds or smiles back at you，then go over to them and introduce yourself. That is usually a good sign for a possible conversation. If the person does not respond, let them go their way. There’s a difference between being “outgoing” and “pushy”. Another practical way to start a conversation with others is to use compliments(赞美). When you’re attracted by certain people, you're bound to notice little things that you appreciate. You can acknowledge these things with a sincere compliment.

Doing something that makes you feel a little uncomfortable is a good way to promote your confidence and help you become a more outgoing version of yourself. If you have never danced before but want to take a ballet lesson, try it out. Do your best to fight the inner voice telling that you can’t do something or defining(定义)yourself by what you think you should be doing instead. With each little victory, you’ll gain the confidence to step further and further outside your comfort zone.