A First Aid Experience

4 . What is the place of art in a culture of inattention? Recent visitors to the Louvre report that tourists can now spend only a minute in front of the Mona Lisa before being asked to move on. Much of that time, for some of them, is spent taking photographs not even of the painting but of themselves with the painting in the background.

One view is that we have made tourism and gallery-going so easy that we have made it effectively impossible to appreciate what we’ve travelled to see. In this society, experience becomes goods like any other. There are queues to climb Everest as well as to see famous paintings. Thus, leisure is considered as hard labour rather than relaxation.

In the rapidly developing society, what gets lost is the quality of looking. Consider an extreme example, the late philosopher Richard Wollheim. When he visited the Louvre he could spend as much as four hours sitting before a painting. The first hour, he claimed, was necessary for incorrect impression to be removed. It was only then that the picture would begin to disclose itself. This seems unthinkable today, but it is still possible to organise. Even in the busiest museums there are many rooms and many pictures worth hours of contemplation (沉思) which the crowds largely ignore.

Marcel Proust, another lover of the Louvre, wrote: “It is only through art that we can escape from ourselves and know how another person sees a universe which is not the same as our own and whose landscapes would otherwise have remained as unknown as any there may be on the moon.” If any art remains worth seeing, it must lead us to such escapes. But a minute in front of a painting in a hurried, harried (烦扰) crowd won’t do that.

5 . In 2020, Pink launched the world Regret Survey, the largest survey on the topic ever undertaken. With his research team, Pink asked more than 15, 000 people in 105 countries, “How often do you look back on your life and wish you had done things differently?” Most of them said regret was at least an occasional part of their life. Roughly 21 percent said they felt regretful all the time. Only 1 percent said they never felt regretful.

If you are of the “no regrets” school of life, you may think that all this regret is a recipe for unhappiness. But that isn’t the case. Letting yourself be overwhelmed by regret is indeed bad for you. But going to the other extreme maybe even worse. To extinguish your regrets doesn’t free you from shame or sadness but causes you to make the same mistakes again and again. To truly get over our guilt requires that we put regret in its proper place.

Uncomfortable as it is, regret is an amazing cognitive (认知的) feat. It requires that you go back to a past scene. Imagine that you acted differently to change it, and with that new scene in mind, arrive at a different present — and then, compare that fictional present with the one you are experiencing in reality. Not all regrets are the same, of course. Pink says they come in four basic varieties, and an instance of regret may involve just one combination.

Many connection regrets overlap (重叠) with moral regrets, which can come about after you go against your own values. For example, you may pride yourself on being a loving person, and thus regret not living up to this image in the relationship you harmed. Moral regrets can also involve (涉及) just yourself. Maybe you regret not living up to your commitment (承诺、保证) to your health when you ate a whole pizza or skipped the gym.

If not analyzed and managed, any variety of regret can be harmful to your health. Regret is linked to depression and anxiety, and excessive regret can have a bad effect on your immune system. But regret doesn’t have to be put aside and ignored.

7 . A new trend called “praise groups” or “in-need-of-praise” chat groups has become popular on Chinese social media. In Chinese culture, where modesty (谦逊) is valued, openly seeking and giving praise is uncommon. These chat groups provide a platform for people to receive compliments (赞扬) and encouragement, which are often lacking in their daily lives.

To join a praise group, users can pay a fee on e-commerce sites, starting at 50 yuan for five minutes of compliments. The group members will then show the person with praises and kind words. The compliments can be designed for a friend or loved one as well. Participants have found that being praised by strangers can help lift their spirits and improve their self-confidence.

For example, Meng Zha, a student at Shanghai’s Tongji University, tried the service and found it amusing and uplifting. She received compliments on her appearance and even quotes (引用) from popular songs. Ms Meng couldn’t help but laugh at the compliments and expressed her desire to post such high-quality praises in the future.

Praise groups have appeared as a way for people in China to seek and receive compliments and encouragement that may be lacking in their daily lives. It provides a positive and uplifting experience for participants, improving a sense of happiness and self-worth.

Those who support the groups, see them as an antidote to extremely bad moods (情绪) which are often associated with things happening on the Internet. “At first, the purpose of this group is to make us learn to praise others and accept others’ praises confidently. Here we can drop everything, and use our heart to praise and support others,” one member said. But the life journey is long and there are some unexpected situations that we can only count on ourselves to face when there is no one out there to offer help.

9 . Kindness is seen as a true strength, and the success of civilizations relies on kindness. As parents and teachers, we also teach children from a young age to “be kind to one another” and “treat others the way you want to be treated.”

In addition to being helpful to our interpersonal relationships, research has shown that kindness can even contribute to our well-being. According to the Mayo Clinic, when we perform acts of kindness, the pleasure center in our brain is activated, releasing the stress-reducing hormone (激素). Individuals who volunteer on a regular basis report greater life satisfaction. And what is even greater is that kindness rarely stops with just one person. There can be a positive contagion (扩散) effect, where other people are motivated to be nice if they receive a random act of kindness. The question then arises: Could kindness be harmful to us when it has such clear benefits? Let’s think about this in the workplace or in an organization.

You are the new person on the team and you want to be well-liked and respected by your colleagues. You are a kind person and tell your team, “Let me know how I can help you; I’m always available to help.” Though you may truly mean this, there are unfortunately people in this world who can see your kindness as a weakness. This can lead to you being taken advantage of by others.

Let’s fast forward a year. You have been in your position now for one year, and you are working with the same team. You are noticing that your colleagues continue asking for your help over and over again. In fact, the only time they communicate with you is when they need something. You have been so helpful to your colleagues and there has rarely been any return from them.

In a very broad sense, it is advantageous to be kind to others, and your kind acts will be appreciated and, perhaps, paid forward. However, you need to be willing to say “no”. Recognize when your plate is already too full. When people ask you a favor, assess if you have the time, energy, and attention to give to them. To truly be kind, sometimes you need to be more comfortable saying “no” to others and saying “yes” to yourself.

How would you use the smart phone?

A survey on how students would use the smart phone has been conducted recently.