1 . I often felt there was a lack of ceremony in my life. The ceremony of passage to mark transitions was ________. Therefore, I was especially ________ when a friend invited me to go with him for a hike that would mark his ________ entry into elderhood. We would be ________ by three other companions. One of them was a wise and gentle elder who would serve as our ________. But whether it involved a ________ or not, an opportunity to walk in the backcountry with people who knew where they were going sounded ________ to me, and yes was what I said.

It was a long drive and we started out early,________ along mountain roads to a campground at the edge of a ________ area where we met our guide. We then walked along a gently rising trail. Along the way there was green grass and bursts of colorful ________, and we soon got down into a sandy creek bed, which we followed for some time. The wonders of the wilderness ________ before us, and every now and then our guide stopped to call our ________ to the shift of the environment, instructing us to ________ the spirit of attentiveness and gratitude.

________, he paused to adjust the leg brace（支架） he was wearing to support his knee, but these too were ________ moments. "Getting ________ slows us down," he said, "but when we slow down, we become aware of things. That's one of the ________ of being an elder. We are allowed to slow down and ________. Life may not have so many ceremonies, so we need to ________ changes. We should move forward with the right ________: being humble, appreciative and positive."

2 . Does forgiveness go against our human nature? To address this, we need to ask a further question: What makes us human? Simply put, people hold two contrasting views on humanity. The first centers on control and power. In an early paper on forgiveness, Droll (1984) wrote that human nature leans more towards aggression (攻击性) than forgiving allows. Those who forgive are against what they’re built for, much to their harm. He believes that forgivers are risking their own well-being as they show forgiveness to others, who might then take advantage of them.   

For the second view, we see respect and love, in the sense of serving others, in the work of Lewis, Amini, and Lannon (2001). They present the scientific argument that we need both to receive love from and offer love to others. From this second viewpoint, forgiveness plays a key role in the overall health of both individuals and communities, both physically and mentally, because one of the outcomes of forgiveness, shown through scientific studies, is the reduction of hatred and the reestablishment of harmony.

Given that control and disrespect can affect a person’s psychological (心理的) and relational well-being, the first approach does not seem workable as a way to live. Given that forgiveness has been shown in numerous studies to increase well-being, it follows that the second approach seems more effective, both from the reasoning of philosophy and the supported theories from social science. Even common sense strongly suggests that the will to power over others does not make for harmonious interactions. Consider, how well has slavery (奴隶制) worked as a way of social harmony?

As an important warning, when we take a Classical Realist philosophical viewpoint, that of Aristotle, we see the difference between possibility and actuality. We are not necessarily born with the ability to forgive, but we have the chance to learn and get better at it. The actuality of forgiving, its actual application in conflict (冲突) situations, grows with certain training.

5 . Signs That You Are Growing

Growing is a lifelong process. Here are the signs that show that you are actually growing and not getting stuck in the process.

    1    

Often, we see how badly people look when they get overly upset due to unimportant things. So the first sign of maturity (成熟) is letting the small things go and not getting angry over a tiny detail that didn’t go as you planned.

You start forgiving and understanding other people

When we are young, we are often unforgiving. As we mature, we are better able to understand the world beyond black and white.     2    . It enables us to look beyond the obvious and let go of simple judgments. We begin to understand better that others have complex (复杂的) lives and personalities, and so we become more willing to forgive their mistakes.

You always complete things that matter

Immature people don’t know when to commit (承诺) themselves and their energy or resources are always not well employed.     3    . In this way, they can often keep their promises and honor their commitments.

You accept the possibility of being wrong

    4    . They are always able to accept the possibility that they are wrong, that they don’t know something, because there is always more to learn.

Being mature is knowing that you are always growing up. You are never done learning and developing. This means that you don’t set yourself up as the highest authority.     5    .

6 . I live with my husband Jack in Iowa, which is far away from Florida. One day, my husband suddenly decided to play _________ in Florida.

“Why Florida?” I wanted to know. “We are so busy every day with our work. Why not someplace _________?”

“Because,” he said, “Florida is famous for golf. It’s just something I _________ to do.”

_________, I did understand. Just a week or so before, I _________ a diary of mine from my teenage years. What really got me about it was the list I’d _________ on the very first page—Things I’m Going To Do. But until now I haven’t done a third of them!

So when Jack talked about playing in _________, it got me thinking. There were a lot of things I wanted to _________. They were all the same things as I’d decided to do _________ I was sixteen. But always because of some reasons, my plans __________ to be carried out.

In order to make our life without __________, I told Jack, “Now let’s draw up all our life lists and have them __________ one by one together.” That was how our journey to Florida __________.

After many years, our plans were all finished. __________ I’ve learned that the secret is to take life __________. If you’re in too much of a hurry, you need to stop, or you will fly past all the things that are the most fun.

8 . There are things we all do, or don’t do, that lead us to waste far more time than we realize in the moment. The biggest time regret, I think, is dwelling on (沉湎于) mistakes and shortcomings.

    1     In a study, researchers asked subjects to spend money during an imaginary trip to the mall. Before “shopping”, some subjects were asked to recall a past financial mistake. They found those subjects were more likely to incur (招致) debt. Dwelling made them feel like a failure and told them there was no need to try, because they already sucked. So, they got further into debt when already feeling like an over spender. Of course, we don’t want to skip over our mistakes or ignore them either.     2    

I also missed too much for fear of my own shortcomings.     3     I wanted to travel after high school, but I went to university close to home instead, because I was too shy to meet new people and was afraid I couldn’t make it in another city. After university, I wanted to be a writer, but I decided to find a more stable, accessible job instead, because that’s easier.     4     I decided to find work I actually enjoyed, travel more and live somewhere else. I made a ton of mistakes along the way, but the bigger mistake was not trying sooner.

    5     So, never beat yourself up over your mistakes and shortcomings. The sooner you learn from them, the sooner you can free up your time and energy to live the life you want.