1 . Bad judgments are meant to feed our own personal ego (自我意识) and put others down, which is not the healthiest thing to do. Here are five reasons why you should stop it now.

You start finding faults in everyone. Judging quickly moves on to more private areas of your life.     1     You fail to appreciate them and start getting dissatisfied with them. You become critical of even those who matter to you.

Judging becomes a habit. If you judge people, sooner or later, it becomes a habit, and you start judging everyone around you for the tiniest of things.     2     And you might dismiss even the best of people through these microscopic judgments.

People begin to distrust you. If you pass judgments about other people in front of your audience, you will lose their trust. As they will begin to feel that if you can judge others in front of them, you can talk about them behind their back.     3    

Judgment is a sign of unhappiness. If you are 100% happy with who you are, you are a lot less likely to feel the need to judge others. If you are self-assured, you will not feel the need to cast a downward glance at others.     4     Either way, it is a negative attitude.

    5     If you’re judging others, you’re probably judging yourself pretty harshly as well. You often tend to think that if you are judging people by what they wear, someone might in turn judge you, which, as a consequence, makes you extremely concerned with your appearance.

2 . How to treat each other well

The following tips can help you enjoy a healthy and satisfying relationship.

Create a foundation of respect.     1    . However, it is important to make sure that you and your partner are rooted in respect. Act in ways that demand respect from your partner. Struggle to treat each other with respect at all times, even when you are mad at each other.

Appreciate each other. A healthy relationship should be one in which you and your partner feel appreciated. Often, relationships are built from many small things added one on top of the other.     2    . Instead of focusing on mistakes your partner makes, focus on the ways your partner adds to your life. When you notice something, speak out and show your appreciation.

    3    . It’s easy to change from face-to-face time together to digital communication. Spending quality time together can help strengthen your relationship and increase the bond you and your partner feel together.     4    . It can be as simple as enjoying a cup of coffee together each morning or reading together at night.

Expect changes. Know that your relationship will likely change. Allow growth for yourself, your partner, and for the relationship itself.     5    . Change is inevitable, so welcome changes and accept that the relationship will adapt.

4 . Ways to Always Be Yourself and Live Happily

Don’t aim to please others.     1     This is why you shouldn’t please others but yourself. Pleasing others can be a nice thing to do, but know where your boundaries are. Instead of always aiming to please others, you should do things for yourself as well every now and then.

Don’t worry about how others view you. Occasionally thinking about how others view you may make you change for the better.     2     You should change if you want to, and change into what or who you want to change into.

    3     Do you know who you really are? Ever since you were young, you have been conditioned to be one way or another. It may be unusual just to spend a day being your spontaneous(自然的)self, but sometimes it is the only way that you can learn how to be yourself.

Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for thinking negatively. Forgive yourself for talking without thinking twice. Don’t think negative thoughts about yourself for taking wrong steps or making wrong decisions. This kind of thinking puts your focus on the problem and not the solution. It’s better to say good thing about yourself than to say negative things.     4    

Strive for what you want to accomplish. Being yourself does not have to mean that you have to be stuck in the status quo(现状).     5     And strive for that accomplishment. You can improve yourself while still remaining true to yourself.

5 . It seems that friends often have similar body odor. Dogs greet other dogs using their noses first, as they are sniffing each other. People are not quite so open about the process of sniffing each other out.

    1     There is also evidence that human beings can infer kinship, deduce emotional states and even detect disease via the sense of smell.     2     They think they have shown, admittedly in a fairly small sample of individuals, that friends actually smell alike.

They have also shown that this is probably the case from the get-go, with people picking friends at least partly on the basis of body odor, rather than the body odor of people who become friends subsequently converging.

As they report in Science Advances, these scientists started their research by testing the odors of 20 pairs of established, non-romantic, same-sex friends.     3     The e-nose used a set of metal-oxide gas sensors to assess T-shirts worn by participants.     4     Those in the other group were asked to rate the odors of individual T-shirts on five subjective dimensions: pleasantness, intensity, sexual attractiveness, competence and warmth.

The e-nose results and the opinions of the second group of smellers were then subjected to a bit of multidimensional mathematical analysis, emerging as simple, comparable numbers.

All three approaches yielded the same result. The T-shirts of friends smelt more similar to each other than did the T-shirts of strangers.     5    

7 . A recent study by a group of researchers found that there is a link between happiness and a term that the researchers coined called “relational diversity.”

Using public data from sources like the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the World Health Organization, the researchers were able to analyze data sets and survey responses from people who had shared their daily habits, schedules and interactions. They noticed a clear relationship between relational diversity and overall levels of satisfaction.

Hanne Collins, a Harvard Business School doctoral student who co-authored the study, says that relational diversity is composed of two elements: richness and evenness.

Richness measures relationship categories, or how many kinds of people you interact with in a day. That could be your romantic partner, a family member, a neighbor or a stranger. “The more relationship categories they talk to in a day and the more even their conversations are across those categories, the happier they are. And we find this in a large sample across many countries,” Collins said.

Evenness relates to the distribution of conversations among those different relationship categories. Some people may find themselves interacting with colleagues at work more than, say, their family members. “If you have a few conversations with colleagues, a few with friends, a few with a romantic partner or a couple chats with strangers, thats going to be more even across these categories,” Collins explained.

Ultimately, Collins says, the study gives insight to the idea that humans are social creatures at heart. Having a support system is important, but it goes beyond your inner circle. “Its about this mix. Its about connecting with people who are close to you, who are maybe less close to you, who connect you with other people, who provide different kinds of support,” she said. “Essentially, the idea is that the more diverse your social portfolio (社交档案), the happier you are and the higher your well-being.”

Next time you consider striking up a conversation with a stranger in line at the grocery store or while waiting at the coffee shop, keep in mind that it might be beneficial to your well-being.

8 . There is an old American saying, “Loose lips sink ships.” This means that if you speak too much about something, especially to people who you don’t know so well, it’ll cause all kinds of trouble.

The situation here is so much worse because the “loose lips” were your best friend’s. Treated this way, you’re sure to feel hurt.     1    

But I have to say that it’s partly your fault, isn’t it? You admit that you were “letting off steam”. It is understandable in that situation, but we should always think before we speak.

    2    

First, apologise to your teammate. If you ever want to win any more basketball games, you need to work together, and that means communicating with each other clearly and resolving conflicts.     3     Tell him directly and honestly that you were talking without thinking.

Then, talk to your friend. Friendship should be one of the greatest things in the world, but sometimes it can be difficult. Again, your strategy is clear communication. Tell your friend you’re angry with him for repeating what you said and making the situation worse, but that you want to move on.     4    

Thirdly, and perhaps most importantly, think about your own behaviour. Don’t say too much when you’re angry!     5     This gives people the wrong signal. Take a deep breath, calm down, and always remember: think first, speak later. If you feel one of your teammates isn’t pulling their weight, then raise your concerns in a professional way with your team coach.

If you think about other people’s feelings as well as your own, you’ll soon find everything works out.

10 . How to Teach Confidence

While it might seem like some people are just born confident, confidence is largely an acquired skill.     1     Start by building up their self-esteem, independent thought, and positive self—talk. Show them how to achieve goals, and how to deal with failure when it happens. With lessons like these, you can teach the people around you to become more confident.

Model confident behavior far people.

If you’re trying to improve someone’s confidence, be a model for how they should behave in a confident way.     2     Show them confident interpersonal relations like eye contact, handshakes, and making small talk. This lets them practice in a safe environment.

Praise small accomplishments to raise a person’s self-worth.

If you’re trying to build someone’s confidence, start small. Each accomplishment they complete is a cause for celebration, even if it seems small. Be happy for your friends, kids, or students.     3    

Give specific praise so people know what they did well.

A specific praise is better than a simple “You did well”.     4     . This makes your praise more genuine and boosts the person self-esteem more by showing them their strengths.

Start with a positive statement before correcting something.

    5     This is especially important if you’re a parent, teacher, or coach. If you do have to make criticisms or corrections, always start by saying something positive first. This raises the person’s spirits and makes it easier for them to take the critical feedback that’s coming up.