1 . Conflict in communities is usually about the task or the person. Of course, sometimes it’s hard to separate one from the other.
Task conflict happens when people have different ideas of what needs to be done. It points to potential differences in opinion about everything you can imagine that is essential for a group: mission, priorities of tasks, compensation mechanism (机制), decision-making mechanisms, etc. Task conflict is not a problem when people realize the source of the conflict is the task and not the people. Community members must resolve tension inclusively with everyone’s voice being heard and acknowledged. However, this does not mean that the solution must include everyone’s opinion. After the conversation, everyone should feel that they had a fair chance to express their opinion and that it was taken seriously by others and not brushed aside.
Conflict between people is tricky because it’s attacking a person’s essence and self-worth. Often this form of conflict, relationship conflict, happens when two conditions are met: First, people have different values or are holding different assumptions, and secondly, neither party can see beyond their own biases. With relationship conflict, the person is perceived to be the problem and is being attacked by others. Each party assumes that most people are on their side and that the other person is acting out of self-interest. This eventually leads to people disagreeing with each other, not for the task’s sake but to prove the other person is wrong.
Sometimes conflict originates in a task. People might prefer different tools or different approaches. If this initial controversy is ignored or not dealt with appropriately, the relatively easy task conflict turns into a more complex relationship conflict. When relationship conflict occurs, a lot of things are reactive rather than reflective. People stop thinking and act impulsively (冲动地).
All in all, remember that every culture has its own way of handling conflict. Some people consider it dishonest if an argument is not addressed openly, while in other cultures, such a discussion will not be acceptable. It comes down to “Don’t assume everyone thinks like you”.
1. What does the underlined phrase “brushed aside” in Paragraph 2 mean?| A．Approved. | B．Ignored. | C．Swept. | D．Denied. |
| A．Eric has a quarrel with his girlfriend in shopping mall. |
| B．Group members are debating which approaches to be used. |
| C．Tom is criticized by his best friend for being irresponsible. |
| D．Two neighbors have a big argument over community health issues. |
| A．Relationship conflict originates from task conflict. |
| B．Task conflict is easier to resolve than relationship conflict. |
| C．Conflict in communities causes people to make impulsive decisions. |
| D．Task conflict can be sometimes transformed into relationship conflict. |
| A．Give a warning. | B．Offer a suggestion. |
| C．Make an assumption. | D．List a misconception. |
2 . There is a famous study called “the marshmallow (棉花糖) test”, conducted by Stanford University professor Walter Mischel. The experiment measured how well children could delay immediate gratification (满足) to receive greater rewards in the future an — ability that predicts success later in life.
For a long time, people assumed that the ability to delay gratification had to do with the child’s personality and was, therefore, unchangeable. But more recent research suggests that social factors—like the reliability of the adults around them — influence how long they can resist temptation (诱惑). Now, findings from a new study add to that science, suggesting that children can delay gratification longer when they are working together toward a common goal.
In the study, researchers repeated a version of the marshmallow experiment with 207 five- to six-year-old children from two very different cultures —Western, Germany and a farming community in Kenya. Kids were first introduced to another child and given a task to do together. Then, they were put in a room by themselves, presented with a cookie on a plate, and told they could eat it now or wait until the researcher returned and receive two cookies. (The researchers used cookies instead of marshmallows because cookies were more attractive treats to these kids.) Some kids received the standard instructions. But others were told that they would get a second cookie only if they and the kid they’d met (who was in another room) were able to resist eating the first one. That meant if both cooperated, they’d both win.
Results showed that both German and Kikuyu kids who were cooperating were able to delay gratification longer than those who weren’t cooperating. Apparently, working toward a common goal was more effective than going it alone.
“Delaying gratification is not just about material benefits,” says Sebastian Grueneisen, coauthor of the study. “Addressing various social issues often necessitates giving up short-term gains for long-term advantages.”
1. What was the traditional belief about kids’ ability to delay gratification?| A．It is dependent on rewards. | B．It is relevant to intelligence. |
| C．It is linked to social factors. | D．It is a fixed personality trait. |
| A．It is an extended version of Mischel’s experiment. | B．It took age differences into consideration. |
| C．It was carried out on a local basis. | D．It reveals the secret of success. |
| A．Self-control. | B．Reliable adults. | C．Cooperation. | D．Cultural differences. |
| A．Instant rewards bring short-term benefits. | B．Delaying gratification holds social value. |
| C．Cooperation is motivated by self-satisfaction. | D．Social development outweighs personal benefits. |
3 . We often think about relationships on a scale from positive to negative. We are drawn to loving family members, caring classmates and supportive mentors. We do our best to avoid the cruel uncle, the playground bully and the jerk boss.
But the most harmful relationships aren’t the purely negative ones. They’re the ones that are a mix of positive and negative. We often call them frenemies, supposed friends who sometimes help you and sometimes hurt you. But it’s not just friends. It’s the in-laws who volunteer to watch your kids but devalue your parenting. The manager who praises your work but denies you a promotion.
Groundbreaking research led by the psychologists Bert Uchino and Julianne Holt-Lunstad shows that ambivalent (矛盾情绪的) relationships can be damaging to your health — even more than purely negative relationships.
Even a single ambivalent interaction can cause harm. In one experiment, people talked about controversial (具有争议性的) topics in front of a friend who offered feedback. The researchers had randomly assigned the friend to give ambivalent or negative comments. Receiving mixed feedback caused higher blood pressure than pure criticism. “I would have gone about the topic differently, but you’re doing fine” proved to be more distressing than “I totally disagree with everything you’ve said.”
The evidence that ambivalent relationships can be bad for us is obvious, but the reasons can be harder to read — just like the relationships themselves.
One reason is that ambivalent relationships are unpredictable. With a clear enemy, you put up a shield when you cross paths. With a frenemy, you never know whether Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde is going to show up. Feeling unsure can break the body’s calming system and activate a fight-or-flight response. It’s unsettling to hope for a hug while also preparing for a likely quarrel.
Another factor is that unpleasant interactions are more painful in an ambivalent relationship. It’s more distressing to be let down by people you like sometimes than by people you dislike all the time. When someone stabs you in the back, it stings more if he’s been friendly to your face.
1. Which of the following can be considered as a frenemy?| A．Your neighbor’s kid who advises you to study hard but kill his own time. |
| B．Your classmate who admires your hard work at first, but doubts your intelligence later. |
| C．Your mother’s friend who encourages you to spend more time on homework but less on smart phones. |
| D．Your father’s colleague who proposes you to do a reasonable amount of homework while ensuring enough sleep. |
| A．Upsetting. | B．Satisfying. | C．Inspiring. | D．Confusing. |
| A．The negative impact of ambivalent interactions is strong. |
| B．Ambivalent relationships have a long-lasting effect on your well-being. |
| C．The common cause of high blood pressure is ambivalent relationship. |
| D．Interactions in ambivalent relationships are more painful than those in negative ones. |
| A．Negative relationships are bad for health. | B．Ambivalent relationships are unpredictable. |
| C．Ambivalent Relationships are the most harmful. | D．Positive relationships are better than negative ones. |
4 . Around the globe, about 1 in 4 adults says they’re lonely. And the consequences of long-term social disconnection can be everything from an increased risk of heart attacks to dementia (痴呆). The following offers a road map to make connections.
Be curious. It’s easier to connect with people if you have shared interests or experiences, so start paying attention to what’s in your mind. What motivates you? What excites you?
Make something. When experts advise making something, people will say, “Well, I’m not Picasso. I don’t know how to do a fancy painting. ” Of course, you’re not!
Find a group that matches your interests. Whether it’s volunteering fora cause or playing frisbee (飞盘), try to find others who share your interests. There’s even an online group that has a quirky shared interest: a fascination with brown bears in Alaska, which led to Fat Bear Week. In interactions with others, you can begin to reveal yourself and share the unique things that matter to you.
Other people’s loneliness matters too.
| A．Pour out your hard feelings. |
| B．Loneliness can be infectious. |
| C．Take a risk by having conversations. |
| D．You should tolerate the risk of being lonely. |
| E．But the opportunities for creative expression are endless. |
| F．Knowing yourself can be a first step to bonding with others. |
| G．Then, other people recognize that and share their story in return. |
5 . Active listening is a communication skill that involves going beyond simply hearing the words that another person speaks but also seeking to understand the meaning and intention behind them. The word “active” implies that you are taking some type of action when listening to others.
Be fully present
Active listening requires being fully present in the conversation. It enables you to concentrate on what is being said. Being present involves listening with all your senses and giving your full attention to the speaker. To use this active listening technique effectively, put away your cell phone, ignore distractions, and shut down your internal dialogue.
Pay attention to non-verbal cues (非言语暗示)
As much as 65% of a person’s communication is unspoken,
Keep good eye contact
When engaged in active listening, making eye contact is especially important. This tells the other person that you are present and listening to what he or she says.
Be patient
Patience is an important active listening technique because it allows the other person to speak without interruption. Being patient involves not trying to fill periods of silence with your own thoughts or stories. This also requires listening to understand, not to respond.
| A．Don’t prepare a reply while listening. |
| B．It also shows that you aren’t distracted. |
| C．This isn’t helpful during active listening. |
| D．So use open, non-threatening body language. |
| E．Don’t focus too much on insignificant details. |
| F．Place your focus on your conversation partner. |
| G．This involves using certain strategies or techniques. |
6 . Some people make you feel comfortable when they are around. You spend an hour with them and feel as if you have known them half your life.
First of all
Second, once good talkers have asked questions, they listen to the answers. This point seems clear, but it isn’t, Your questions should have a point and help to tell what sort of person you are talking to. And to find it out, you really have to listen carefully and attentively.
Finally, good talkers know well how to deal with the occasion of paring. If you’re saying goodbye, you may give him a firm handshake and say, “I’ve really enjoyed meeting you. ”
| A．Real listening at least means some things. |
| B．These people have something in common. |
| C．It’s polite to listen to others with a smile. |
| D．And how he answers will let you know how far you can go. |
| E．You can become a popular person. |
| F．If you want to see that person again, don’t keep it a secret. |
| G．Good talkers ask questions. |
7 . Being responsible can seem hard at first, but if you keep at it, it will become second nature to you.
Place others’ needs before your own. When you have a family, friends, or pets, being responsible may mean placing their needs above your own.
Find solutions for issues instead of casting blame. Problems come up in any relationship.
People who are not responsible with their words will shout out the first thing that comes into their heads, including calling another person names. Instead, take time to think your words through.
| A．Don’t let your anger get the better of you. |
| B．You need to take care of yourself and others. |
| C．That doesn’t mean you don’t take care of yourself. |
| D．Doing just the things you are asked to do is responsible. |
| E．Your responsibility won’t mean much if it is hit or miss. |
| F．If you are not sure, consider how it would make yourself feel. |
| G．Instead of blaming the other person, try to find a way to solve them. |
8 . Go on a 15-minute Tour
Didn’t someone say that life is about the journey, not the destination?
To commit some time to the journey, take some time to walk around where you work and notice your surroundings.
After your first observation tour, select a different day to tour your workspace for moods. Other people’s moods can provide you with critical clues about how things are going.
Schedule 15 minutes to tour your workplace twice a week for a month and be sure to avoid making too many assumptions or conclusions — just simply observe.
| A．You’ll be amazed at what you see along the way. |
| B．Spare a little time to closely monitor each person’s progress. |
| C．Notice what people may be feeling when you drop by to talk briefly. |
| D．During any workday, take just 15 minutes to observe neglected things. |
| E．You generally love the breathtaking landscape and people’s performances. |
| F．Going on a short tour will help you get in tune with other people and their emotions. |
| G．To become socially aware, remember to enjoy the journey and notice people along the way. |
9 . How To Stop Bein g A People Pleaser
As a recovering people pleaser, I spent much of my life keeping others happy. Breaking this habit meant stepping on a few toes. However, I’ve become a happier person as a result. Here are some tips I used to stop being a people pleaser.
Identify your priorities. Take a moment to think about why you are trying to learn how to stop being a people pleaser.
Just say “no”. One reason why people pleasers say “yes” to everything is that they fear disappointing others.
Accept yourself. Many people pleasers are insecure about who they are.
Remember that you cannot please everyone. No matter what you do there will always be someone who is unhappy with your choices.
| A．Learn to set healthy boundaries. |
| B．Don’t mix up your boundaries with others’. |
| C．Who are the people that you feel the need to please? |
| D．Spend some time learning to love yourself for who you are. |
| E．So why bother trying to please everyone if it isn’t possible? |
| F．But saying “no” is the best way to take care of your own needs. |
| G．That is why the more you seek security, the less of it you have. |
10 . Do you have a hard time saying“no”? If “yes” rules your life and “no” doesn’t exist, here are some tips for you to say “no” without feeling bad.
Switch out “no” for “later”If you’re just starting out, you don’t have to jump straight to “no”.
Sometimes, invites or requests happen naturally and in person, requiring an answer immediately.
Offering an excuse may seem polite to decline a request, but it sets you up for an awkward situation. No matter what excuse you offer, people who are determined to get you to say “yes” will come up with a way to reel (卷轴) you in.
If the person asking you for something is someone who you want to maintain a positive relationship with, you can decrease the impact of your “no” by offering an alternative.
| A．Don’t offer an explanation |
| B．Don’t say “yes” to others easily |
| C．Saying “no”at once can be tough |
| D．But noisy places with many people aren’t your choices |
| E．So it would be useful to rehearse your “no” in advance |
| F．Being frank with people by saying “no” doesn’t mean rude |
| G．The goal is to find a common ground and reach an agreement |
