1 . True love is happiness. True love is sharing your world with your dearest. How do you turn friendship into love? Is there a fine line between the two?     1    

Whatever the situation is, put yourself in your friends’ shoes. If they are in trouble, help them out.    2     If they are sad, be a shoulder to cry on. Nobody doesn’t like to be close friends with a considerate and thoughtful person.

If you’re really good friends with some people, go into town to catch a coffee, invite them on walks, or just invite them to your house for a bit of a catch-up. The possibilities are endless. Just make sure you know them well enough to feel comfortable having deep conversations and sharing your world with them. You don’t want them to be creeped out (爬出) with your sudden eagerness and interest.

    4     If they’re having a bit of crisis in work, let them believe in you. If they’re having problems with family and friends, give good and sensible advice. The bottom line is to be caring.

Try not to have any arguments, even though they can easily happen. Don’t ever cheat and always look your best for them.    5    

2 . Most of us travel with our parents as children and teenagers. For some of us, during the travel, our parents are our inspiration. These trips are normally full of rental cars, beaches, and hamburgers. My family would go to Galiano island every summer, and we did a week in Mexico in 1995, and then we did two different trips to Anaheim to experience the magic of Disney, Universal, and Knott’s Berry Farm.

But all of these are childhood experiences and memories. I didn’t really truly travel with my parents until I was an adult when I got the chance to travel with mom and dad.

I was in New Zealand for a study abroad, and invited my parents to come down for a 2-week road trip around the North Island and then 10 days in Fiji. Why not? They said, as if this was something they were invited to do every day. I didn’t really plan anything, but my mom had done some reading and I knew some highlights after living in New Zealand for 5 months.

I had booked a hotel for their first night in Auckland. The only other preparation I had done was to book a rental car. My parents immediately reached an agreement that I should be the driver, for the whole two weeks. The main reason for this, understandably, was that neither of them had ever been in a country where you drive on the left hand side of the road and on the right hand side of the car. This led to me driving my parents around the entire North Island of New Zealand for 2 weeks! But still, everybody had jobs. Dad had the maps, and mom had the guidebook, and I just took them where they told me to go.

Sometimes, I was asked who I was traveling with. When I said “my parents”, the response was, “Ohhh, older people.” Actually, I have some tips on travelling with parents happily.

3 . Raising teenagers can be both difficult and rewarding(有回报的). They are becoming young adults. Almost all teenagers will have some behavioral outbursts(爆发) with their families during this period of life.     1     Here are some ideas that may create positive(积极的) experiences for teens and parents.

Have meals together. Mealtime is when we check in with each other.     2     Eating meals together offers a way for parents and kids to share what is on their minds. It brings families closer by creating trust and understanding to help guide children through the challenges of the teen years.

    3     As teens develop their own sense of independence, it gets harder to find time to talk. Talk in the car together, when doing dishes together, or any time you have a chance. Remember that no matter how big their problems seem, what most teens want is love and support. Help them connect with their families and communities. During these years, help teens learn that their words and actions mater.     4     Others may find connection through spiritual communities or from having more responsibilities at home. Connecting with families and communities also helps keep teens safe from riskier activity.

Find time to have fun together! What do you both enjoy? Playing chess? Going to the ballet? Volunteering in your community? Take time to have fun and enjoy each other’s company. No one wants the attention of people they love to be focused only on what not to do. This is true for teenagers, too.     5    

5 . The mental health of children is connected to their parents’ mental health. A recent study asked parents to report on their children’s mental and physical (身体的) health as well as their own mental health. One in 14 children aged 0~17 years had a parent who reported poor mental health, and those children were more likely to have poor general health and a mental or developmental disability.

Being mentally healthy during childhood includes reaching developmental milestones, learning healthy social skills and how to solve problems. Mentally healthy children are more likely to have a happy life and are more likely to work well at home, in school, and in their communities.

A child’s healthy development depends on their parents who serve as their first sources(来源) of support in becoming independent and leading healthy and successful lives.

The mental health of parents and children is connected in many ways. Parents who have their own mental health challenges, such as dealing with anxiety (fear or worry), may have more difficulty providing care for their children compared to parents who describe their mental health as good. Caring for children can create challenges for parents, particularly if they lack (缺乏) support, which can have a negative effect on a parent’s mental health. Parents and children may also experience shared risks, such as living in unsafe environments, and the like.

Fathers are important for improving children’s mental health, although they are not as often included in research studies as mothers. The recent study looked at fathers and found similar connections between their mental health and their children’s general and mental health as for mothers. Fathers and mothers need support, which, in turn, can help them support their children’s mental health.

10 . Yesterday we said goodbye to my grandfather. He was 96 years old and he was my last grandparent.

It has been a while since I saw my grandpa in person. I think he only met my youngest Lilly once. It kind of pains me to think that I deprived(剥夺)my children of the chance to know their only great-grandparent. But I didn’t want them to know or remember a very old man, incapable of getting down on his knees to play with them, and laughing with them because he can’t hear what they’re saying. That’s not the grandfather I know.

My grandfather never stopped. He was an early-adopter to have a laptop-type-device long before Apple was a houschold word and he was programming video games for grandkids to play before most people knew what programming was. He kept physically fit every day of his life. In his later years, he kept busy playing tennis, ballroom dancing, swimming, bicycling. In the end, he didn’t lose a battle to any disease. His body simply could not go on anymore.

I feel extremely thankful to have had the opportunity to know my grandfather. Intentional or not, he taught me many lessons. My grandfather taught me to waterski when I was 5 years old and he taught me how to surf about a decade after that. Whenever I thought it’s too late for me to study a language or get better at piano, he made it clear that it’s only my fear holding me back, not age.

These lessons make life meaningful to me. I prefer to think of them as lessons for living a positive life that leaves a positive impression on me. That is something I will strive to do. Thanks to my grandfather, I have a pretty good blueprint to follow. So I guess the best thing I can offer my children to feel connected to that man is the lessons I learned from him.