Silent friends in a life storm
Dear Annalisa,
My dad died unexpectedly a few months ago and I feel angry with some of my oldest friends, who have hardly contacted me since it happened.
Three months on, I’ve finally heard from some of them through text about other matters. I didn’t mention my sad stories, and they didn’t ask.
I understand that death is a frightening subject and that people might worry about saying the wrong thing. Yet I still feel a bit hurt by their lack of contact after my dad’s funeral (葬礼).
Now I don’t want to face them because I don’t want to make them feel guilty (内疚的). Normally they are extremely good friends who I love very much. I have other friends, so I can manage this without their support. I just want to let go of the anger so I can get through this sadness. Hope to receive your advice.
Yours,
Amy
Dear Amy,
I’m so sorry to hear about your dad’s death.
Your anger may come from being unable to ask for the help you need. You also seem worried about troubling your friends too much.
It is likely that your friends are very concerned about you. Perhaps their own fear of the subject is too big to comfort you and, just as you say, they are frightened of saying the wrong thing. Also, people often want to “fix” things, but no one can fix death, so they may feel powerless to help you. In these situations, you have to be brave to break the ice and tell them not only what you need, but also how to offer help.
If you really can’t ask your “silent” friends for help, maybe you could count more on those other friends. You might find some psychological (心理的) treatment useful as well. Talking to someone with professional knowledge who understands your situation can help you carry the burden of sadness.
Yours,
Annalisa
1. 根据文章内容，使用文章中的原词完成下列表格，每空一词。| Amy’s problem | Some of her oldest friends have seldom contacted her since her dad’s death, making her feel angry and |
| Annalisa’s analysis (分析) | ● Amy’s anger comes from the fact that she is ● The subject of death is so frightening that her friends are at a loss what to say to ● Her friends may feel powerless to help her solve the problem so they choose to keep |
| Annalisa’s | ● Be brave to start a conversation with her friends. ● ● Seek |
2. 假如你是 Amy，请给Annalisa回一封信，表示感谢并告诉她你打算怎么做。写作词数应为40左右。
Dear Annalisa,
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Yours,
Amy
3. 假定你是Amy的朋友，得知她的困扰，你将如何提供帮助？请用英语写出你可以做的三件事。2 . Have you ever wondered about the significance of emotions in our life? Emotions play a critical part in our lives and are contagious (传染的) unless you know how to actually control them. Let me give you an example here: When you are with your loved ones, your mood changes instantly, right? If they feel happy then you feel happy, and if they feel angry/sad then so do you. Starting to get what I was talking about in the beginning? Should you be feeling like that? In certain situations yes, but every time, no!
You may find it very hard to believe but it is NOT our responsibility to bear their feelings, this is something that they have to do themselves. Apart from this, we must also learn to control our feelings, and never ever be ruled by our own feelings.
Let me give you my own example here. In the middle of a fight between your spouse (配偶) or partner, they will say, “You really hurt my feelings”. Sometimes, you might even say: “You are making me angry”. What does this imply? It means that you have allowed the other person to emotionally control you. Whenever this happens, you start blaming yourself, especially for the emotions that others are feeling. This is known as emotional reflection. You must learn to control this or it will create co-dependency in relationships which is very harmful.
What should be your course of action here? It might seem rude when I say this but you really need to hear it. YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HOW OTHERS FEEL! This goes sideways, others are also not responsible for how you feel and that is our goal for today.
1. What is the function of the first question in Paragraph 1?| A．To introduce the topic. | B．To share a hot game. |
| C．To entertain the readers. | D．To explain the background. |
| A．Your partner makes you angry. | B．You hurt your partner’s feelings. |
| C．Your feelings are controlled by others. | D．You blame others for affecting your feelings. |
| A．Others can never control your emotions. | B．You can’t be affected by others’ emotions. |
| C．Grow with different emotions | D．Control Emotions in proper ways |
| A．Let Go of Your Feelings |
| B．Mind Your Own Feelings |
| C．Grow with different emotions |
| D．Control Emotions in proper ways |
3 . Tricks To Becoming A Patient Person
Here’s a riddle: What do traffic jams, long lines and waiting for a vacation to start all have in common? There is one answer.
In the Digital Age, we’re used to having what we need immediately and right at our fingertips. However, research suggests that if we practiced patience, we’d be a whole lot better off. Here are several tricks.
●Practice gratitude (感激)
Thankfulness has a lot of benefits: Research shows it makes us happier, less stressed and even more optimistic.
● Make yourself wait
Instant gratification (满足) may seem like the most “feel good” option at the time, but psychology research suggests waiting for things actually makes us happier in the long run. And the only way for us to get into the habit of waiting is to practice.
●
So many of us have the belief that being comfortable is the only state we will tolerate, and when we experience something outside of our comfort zone, we get impatient about the circumstances. You should learn to say to yourself, “
| A．Find your causes |
| B．Start with small tasks |
| C．Accept the uncomfortable |
| D．All this adds up to a state of hurry |
| E．It can also help us practice more patience |
| F．This is merely uncomfortable, not intolerable |
| G．They’re all situations where we could use a little extra patience |
Whether loving, cold or extremely funny, some of the greatest characters in literature are mothers. Below are just a few examples of very different mothers from different authors.
The Railway Children –by Edith Nesbit
When their father is taken away one evening, the lives of Roberta, Peter and Phyliss are broken suddenly into small pieces. They and their mother are forced to move from their comfortable London home to a simple cottage in the country where their mother writes books to make ends meet.
The Dwelling Place –by Catherine Cookson
In the 1830s, Cissy Brody and her young siblings(兄弟姐妹) are forced to leave their farm cottage when both of their parents die. Determined that they will not enter the frightening workhouse, young Cissy takes on the parental responsibility and moves them to live in a small cave on the wilderness where they will face many hardships before finding a happy ending.
Little Women –by Louisa May Alcott
The mother, Mrs March, is the glue that holds the family together through the Civil War as we follow the lives of Jo, Meg, Amy and Beth, her daughters. Their father is away serving as a Chaplain(神父). Having lost their fortune, their mother must use all her resources to keep the family together, which she does extremely well.
Pride and Prejudice –by Jane Austen
Sometimes talkative and materialistic, yet strangely likeable, Mrs Bennet guides her five daughters, Jane, Elizabeth, Mary, Kitty and Lydia towards suitable marriages. Nothing will stand in her way although sometimes her behavior does scare away suitable suitors. Sometimes touching and at other times extremely funny, it never fails to make readers smile.
1. Which book mentions the mother who makes a living by writing?| A．The Railway Children. | B．The Dwelling Place. |
| C．Little Women. | D．Pride and Prejudice. |
| A．Roberta. | B．Cissy Brody. | C．Amy March. | D．Elizabeth. |
| A．They were written at the same period. |
| B．They were set in the same background. |
| C．They describe children’s life at school. |
| D．They show greatness of main characters. |
5 . Like many writers, I’m a supreme expert at procrastination (拖延症). When I ought to be working on an assignment, with the clock ticking towards my deadline, I’ll sit there watching pointless interviews or cat videos on YouTube.
According to traditional thinking — I, along with my fellow procrastinators, have a time management problem. By this view, I haven’t fully appreciated how long my assignment is going to take and I’m not paying enough attention to how much time I’m currently wasting on videos. With better scheduling, I will stop procrastinating and get on with my work.
Increasingly, however, psychologists are realizing this is wrong. Experts in the UK have proposed that procrastination is an issue with managing our emotions, not our time. The task we’re putting off is making us feel bad — perhaps it’s boring, too difficult or we’re worried about failing — and to make ourselves feel better in the moment, we start doing something else, like watching videos.
One investigation to inspire the emotional view of procrastination was published by researchers at Case Western Reserve University. They first prompted people to feel bad (by asking them to read sad stories) and showed that this increased their tendency to procrastinate by doing puzzles or playing video games instead of preparing for the test they knew was coming. Subsequent studies by the another team also showed low mood only increases procrastination if enjoyable activities are available as a distraction.
This fresh perspective on procrastination is beginning to open up exciting new approaches to reducing the habit. An approach, which is based on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, seems especially suitable. It argues that prioritizing choices and actions that help you get closer to get things done can keep you away from the unpleasant feelings. So the next time you’re going to procrastinate, make your focus as simple as “What’s the next action?”. Focusing on this one-step question takes your mind off your feelings and onto easily achievable action. “Our research and lived experience show very clearly that once we get started, we’re typically able to keep going. Getting started is everything.”
1. Which is true according to the traditional view of procrastinators?| A．They are usually irresponsible people. |
| B．They have difficulty in concentrating. |
| C．They enjoy watching videos while writing. |
| D．They can get work done with better schedules. |
| A．Procrastination boosts your moods. |
| B．Procrastinators prefer puzzles to sad stories. |
| C．Test-takers can not escape bad emotions. |
| D．Negative emotions promote procrastination. |
| A．It shortens the process. | B．It inspires the wildest imagination. |
| C．It may relieve unpleasant feelings. | D．It can fix time management problem. |
| A．Prioritize Your To-do List | B．New Studies on Work Performance |
| C．Quit Watching Cat Videos | D．Tremendous Damage of Procrastination |
6 . If you are of the “no regrets” school of life, you might think that all this regret is a reason for unhappiness. But that isn’t the case.
Kill the ghost.
People often say their regrets “haunt” them. This suggests that regret is like a ghost: not entirely clear but always awful. Bring your ghost out of the shadows by making a list of your regrets.
After you make a mistake, life moves on. But sometimes you just can’t stop kicking yourself. Perhaps you dropped out of school decades ago and are constantly calculating today how much money you would be making had you made it to graduation.
Collect your diploma(文凭).
| A．Forgive yourself. |
| B．Stop wasting time. |
| C．Going to the other extreme may be worse. |
| D．Regret is like a school run by human nature. |
| E．Write down why each one still bothers you and its bad effects. |
| F．Well analyzed and managed, regrets can be beneficial to your well-being. |
| G．In other words, you have voluntarily chosen a life sentence for a poor decision made previously. |
1.告知已经出院回家；
2.回顾住院期间苏华给予的帮助；
3.表达感谢。
注意：
1.词数80左右；
2.可适当增加细节，以使行文连贯；
3.开头已给出，不包含在词数内。
Dear Su Hua,
I’m writing to tell you that I have recovered and already been at home.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Yours sincerely,
Li Jiang
8 . “A positive attitude can be a gift to those around you,” said Jamie Long, a clinical psychologist in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. “But it shouldn't take the place of listening thoughtfully to others' experiences.”
“When you choose to look at situations from one positive angle, you are very likely to dismiss a true experience,” Long explained. Even if you try to cheer up someone, ignoring someone's difficult experiences can leave them feeling they should hide negative feelings in the future.
As examples of “positive” responses that might destroy a friend's ability to share their feelings, Long listed: “Look for the silver lining” and “it could be worse”. Instead of trying to find a positive angle, Long suggested using accepting phrases that communicate a willingness to listen, and to share life's difficult moments with the people you care about.
Still, the positive benefits of negative emotions may be best experienced in relatively small doses(剂量). Lomas Quintero highlighted that appreciating the value of difficult feelings is all about finding balance. “Any negative emotion can go too far or turn into a clinical issue,” he said.
Long agreed. “There is an abundance of research that really touts(吹捧)the benefits of positivity, and we're not denying that,” Long said. “When you do so to an extreme, when you dismiss truth, that's where problems arise.”
1. What does Jamie Long advocate?| A．Taking a positive attitude to those around you， |
| B．Listening thoughtfully to others’ true experiences. |
| C．Choosing to look at situations from a positive angle. |
| D．Ignoring someone's difficult experiences to cheer up. |
| A．To explain a rule. | B．To clarify a concept. |
| C．To give an example. | D．To make a comparison. |
| A．Favorable. | B．Intolerant. | C．Doubtful. | D．Objective. |
| A．The benefits of positive emotions. |
| B．Clinical issues caused by negativity. |
| C．Experiencing some difficult feelings. |
| D．Balancing positivity against negativity. |
