1 . You constantly find yourself apologizing to a friend when you’ve done nothing wrong. You feel you must obey someone’s demands, or they will be upset with you or even harm you or themselves. An unclear or specific threat is made that causes you to fear that someone will reveal a secret or weakness, so you do what that person wants. Or perhaps a relative is trying to make you feel obliged to do something by saying, “That’s what friends or family do for each other.” They arouse feelings of guilt in you for not meeting their needs.
If you have had experience with any of these cases, then you are the victim of emotional blackmail (勒索). This style of handle controls you through your emotions. Fear, obligation and guilt - FOG - are used by an emotional blackmailer to get what they want from people.
Anyone - a friend, colleague, parent, partner or other family members - could be that person. Their demands are intended to control their victim’s behavior in unhealthy methods. Intentional or unintentional, if your needs are always brushed aside in favor of the other person’s, things need to change.
Dr. Susan Forward identifies six stages in emotional blackmail. Implied or obvious demands come first. “I don’t think you should do things with that person. They’re not good for you.” After this kind of statement, the ball is in the victim’s court, so stage two is resistance. The victim often avoids the blackmailer or suggests alternatives instead of saying no. Stage three is persistent pressure by the blackmailer: “If we were really friends, you’d do it.” Stage four involves threats: “If you don’t do this...then I will ...” The victim doesn’t want the blackmailer to make good on their threats, so obedience, which is stage five, often leaves the victim feeling guilty or resentful. In stage six the blackmailer backs off until the next demand.
What can you do? First, recognize if you are being pressured, threatened or controlled. Stay calm, and stop so you can consider other possibilities. Identify your triggers; don’t be pressured into an immediate response. Offer a compromise (妥协). Tell the blackmailer how you feel, and give them a chance to acknowledge their behavior and change. If they won’t, walk away from the relationship. Under no circumstances should you let your fears be used against you.
1. According to the passage, emotional blackmail means ______.| A．a kind of emotion that can be mailed to others online |
| B．a kind of action to influence others by means of emotion |
| C．a colour that can greatly influence others’ emotion |
| D．a situation where emotion can be stored and given out freely |
| A．To illustrate the process of emotional blackmail. |
| B．To explain the origin of emotional blackmail. |
| C．To prove the existence of emotional blackmail. |
| D．To demonstrate the theory of emotional blackmail. |
| A．amazed | B．frightened | C．indifferent | D．angry |
| A．wherever you are, it is impossible to avoid emotional blackmail in life |
| B．whenever you’re emotionally blackmailed, just let it be with no response |
| C．it’s an advisable way to give a proper response when emotionally blackmailed |
| D．it’s a correct response to sincerely negotiate with emotional blackmailer then |
